Bagged Me a Homer
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Bagged Me a Homer is a song sung by Lurleen Lumpkin (Beverly D'Angelo) in the episode Colonel Homer. The music and lyrics were written by Beverly D'Angelo herself. It is the thirty-second track on the album Songs in the Key of Springfield.
Lyrics
- Studio Chief:
- Uh, this studio has a lot of history. Buddy Holly stood here in 1958 and said, "There is no way in Hell that I'm gonna record in this dump."
- Homer:
- I'm sure Lurleen will love it.
- Marge:
- (gasps) Homer, how much did you just give that man?!
- Homer:
- Calm down, Marge, it's just our life savings. I'm not going to go into hock for this.
- Lurleen:
- Hey, Colonel Homer! (kisses him, to Marge) And you must be—
- Marge:
- Mrs. Homer Simpson!
- Lurleen:
- Charmed.
- (Marge murmurs)
- Marge:
- (to Homer) Thought you said she was overweight.
- Homer:
- Marge, it takes two to lie: one to lie and one to listen.
- Marge:
- What does that mean?
- Homer:
- I don't have time to answer these questions! Uh, time is money! (claps twice) Come on, people!
- Lurleen:
- Well, come on, boys, let's break some hearts!
- Oh, the bases were empty
- On the diamond of my heart
- When the coach called me up to the plate.
- I've been swingin' and missin'
- And lovin' and kissin'
- My average was point double eight.
- So I spit on my hands,
- Knockin' dirt from my spikes,
- And pointed right toward centerfield,
- This time, I'm hittin' a home run,
- This time, love is for real.
- I'll slide, I'll steal, I'll sacrifice
- A lovin' fly for you,
- I've been slumpin' off season,
- But now, I found a reason
- I've struck on a love that is true.
- I used to play the field,
- I used to be a roamer.
- But season's turnin' round for me now.
- I finally bagged me a homer!
- That's right.
- I finally bagged me a homer!
- Sound booth guy:
- Uh, Lurleen, we're gonna hafta cut you off. We're gettin' some kinda grindin' noise on the track.
- (Tommy Morgan blows a harp solo)
- Homer:
- Guess what, Lurleen! I gotcha a gig on TV!
- Lurleen:
- Oh! Homer! You're as smart as you are handsome!
- Homer:
- Hey! Oh, you meant that as a compliment.
