Homer at the Bat/Quotes

Quotes

Season 3 Episode Quotes

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051

052
"Homer at the Bat"

053

[Jose Canseco is walking by a burning house when he hears a baby crying.]

Woman: My baby!

Jose Canseco: Don't worry ma'am, I'll save your baby!

Jose Canseco runs into burning house and emerges with baby.

Woman: Thank you!

[Cat mewling is heard.]

Woman: My cat!

Jose Canseco: Never fear ma'am, I'll save your cat!

[Jose Canseco runs into burning house and emerges with cat.]

Woman: Thank you Mr. Canseco!

["Camptown Races" is heard.]

Woman: My player-piano!

Jose Canseco: Oh, man!

[Springfield Hospital. Dr. Hibbert is using a Geiger counter on a sick Mike Scoscia.]

Dr. Hibbert: Er Mike try to lift your arm.

Mike Scioscia: Can't... lift arm... or speak... at... normal... rate

Dr. Hibbert: Now son, it looks like you have acute radiation poisoning.

Mike Scioscia: Will... I... be... able... to... play... softball... tomorrow?

Dr. Hibbert: [laughs] No, by tomorrow you'll barely be able to breath!

Mike Scioscia: Oh...man...

Nurse: Doctor come quick! Ken Griffey Jr. needs your help immediately, it looks like an overdose of nerve tonic.

[Dr. Hibbert sees Ken Griffey Junior in a wheelchair with an enlarged cranium.]

Dr. Hibbert: Oh my lord, gigantism!

[Wade Boggs is arguing in Moe's Tavern with a drunken Barney Gumble.]

Barney: And I say England's greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston!

Boggs: Pitt the Elder!

Barney: Lord Palmerston!

Boggs: Pitt the Elder!!

Barney: O.K. You asked for it Boggs!

[Barney knocks Boggs out.]

Moe: Yeah, that's showing him, Barney! Heh, Pitt the Elder.

Barney: Lord Palmerston!!!

[Barney knocks Moe out too.]

← Season 2 Season 3 Quotes Season 4 →
Stark Raving Dad • Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington • When Flanders Failed • Bart the Murderer • Homer Defined • Like Father, Like Clown • Treehouse of Horror II • Lisa's Pony • Saturdays of Thunder • Flaming Moe's • Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk • I Married Marge • Radio Bart • Lisa the Greek • Homer Alone • Bart the Lover • Homer at the Bat • Separate Vocations • Dog of Death • Colonel Homer • Black Widower • The Otto Show • Bart's Friend Falls in Love • Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?