The Way We Was/Quotes
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< The Way We Was
Revision as of 15:19, September 1, 2010 by Cronokinetic (talk)
- Homer: Time for Dr. TV to take a look.
- Television goes dead.
- Bart & Lisa{in unison}: AUGH!
- Bart: Looks like you just lost your patient, Doc.
- Marge: You know, when your father and I were growing up in the 1970s, we did not watch a lot of TV.
- Bart: You did not? What else could you do in such ancient times?
- Marge: Oh, many activites. We used to shoot pool, hang out at shops, and talk a lot.
- Lisa: Wow! Could you tell us more about your past?
- Homer: Sure! I remember this one...
- Flashback to 1980. Marge and Homer are in Dr. Hibbert's office.
- Dr. Hibbert: Miss Bouvier, I have determined the cause of why you are vomiting so much in the mornings. All I can say is, congratulations!
- Homer: D'oh!
- Return to present day.
- Marge: Homer! Maybe we can tell that another time!.
- Estelle: Don't you think you deserve to earn as much as a man who does the same job?
- Marge: Not if I have to do heavy lifting or math.
- Homer: When I see you forming the vowels and continents . . .
- Marge: Consonants.
(In detention.)
- Homer: So, uh, what are you in for?
- Marge: I'm a political prisoner. (Muttering) Last time I ever take a stand.
- Homer: Well, I'm in here for being me. Every day, I show up, act like me, and they slap me in here.
(At debate team practice, Homer and Artie Ziff hold a debate.)
- Artie: Our current speed limit is an anachronism. The fatuity--
- Homer: (Reading from a dictionary) "Ignoramus."
- Artie: --Will you shut up?
- Homer: Wait a minute. That word you keep calling me?
- Artie: Ignoramus?
- Homer: Ignoramus! It means I'm stupid, doesn't it?
- Artie: There is a difference between ignorance and stupidity.
- Homer: Not to me, there isn't, you--
- Mrs. Bloominstein: Homer?
- Homer: --ignoramus!
- Artie: You're the ignoramus.
- Homer: No, you are!
- Mrs. Bloominstein: Homer, would you like to present your rebuttal?
- Homer: With pleasure. (Everyone gasps as Homer moons the class.)
(Principal Dondalinger catches Homer and Barney smoking in the bathroom.)
- Dondalinger: Well, well, well. If it isn't Homer Simpson and Barney Gumble, Springfield's answer to "Cheech and Chong." Allow me, gentlemen. (Grabs their cigarettes and tosses them in the toilet.) You just bought yourselves three days of detention. You know where and when.
- Homer and Barney: (In unison.) Three o'clock, old building, room 106.
