Treehouse of Horror VII/Quotes

Quotes

(Talking to the girl in "The Genesis Tub")

Boy: Hey what is this goo? Are you trying to build a friend?

(From "The Genesis Tub")

Principal: This mini universe you've created is even more impressive then Martin's milk carton ukulele.

(Shot of the kid background in a grass skirt playing the ukulele.)

(From "The Thing and I")

Doctor: That means the evil twin is and always has been...Bart.

(They all turn around and stare at the boy.) Boy: Oh, don't look so shocked.

Alien 2: (as Clinton) We must go forward, not backward. Upward, not forward. And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.

Alien 2: It's a two party system! You have to vote for one of us!

Man: He's right, this is a two-party system.

Man 2: Well, I believe I'll vote for a third-party candidate.

Alien: Go ahead, throw your vote away.

Dad: Ah… The old fishin' hole. So peaceful and relaxing, doesn't even matter if I catch a single fish… come on, you stupid fish! Take the bait! Don't make me come down there!!!

Leader: Welcome to our world, most gracious Lisa.

Girl: Your world is incredible. And you speak English.

Leader: We have listened to you speak since the dawn of time, O Creator. And we have learned to imatoot you exarktly.

Dad: We think we saw Hugo at the airport; he was boarding a plane to Switzerland and… (sees the boy) Oh.

Girl: What's up there?

Boy: Is it a monster?

Girl: We have to know.

Boy: Tell us what's the secret.

Dad: No more questions. I work my butt off to feed you four kids and all you do is--

(Mom stares at Dad.)

Dad: What?

Mom: Three, we have three children!

Dad: Yeah, three nosy kids. And you know what happens to nosy kids who ask too many questions?

Kids: (talking quickly) No, what? Does something happen? Does something happen to nosy kids who ask questions? What happening? Anchorman: Senator, why should people vote for you instead of President Clinton?

Alien: (as Dole) It makes no difference which one of us you vote for. Either way, your planet is doomed. DOOMED!

Anchorman: Well, a refreshingly frank response there from senator Bob Dole.

Dad: Oh my God, space aliens! Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids! Eat them!

Boy: Your micro-jerks attacked me!

Girl: Well, you practically destroyed their whole world.

Boy: You can't protect them every second. Sooner or later, you'll let your guard down, and then flush! It's toilet time for Tinytown!

Girl: Oh my God! I've created life!

Mom: (from downstairs) Lisa, breakfast! We're having waffles!

Girl: Ooh, waffles.

Boy: You're crazy!

Evil Boy: Am I? Well, perhaps we're all a little crazy. I know I am. I went mad after they tore us apart, but I'll be sane… once I sew us back together.

Boy: But you'll kill both of us.

Evil Boy: No, it's easy. Look, I've been practicing: I made a pigeon-rat.

Boy: Did you guys hear something moving around in the attic last night?

Dad: Attic? Oh, that's silly. Seriously though, don't ever go up there.

Alien: (as Dole) Fooling these Earth voters is easier than expected.

Alien 2: (as Clinton) Yes. All they want to hear are bland pleasantries embellished by an occasional saxophone solo or infant kiss.

Alien: (as Bob Dole) Abortions for all!

(Crowd boos)

Alien: Very well, no abortions for anyone!

(Crowd boos again)

Alien: Hmm... Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!

(Crowd cheers and waves miniature flags.)

Dad: Oh, no! Aliens, bio-duplication, nude conspiracies! Oh my God! Lyndon LaRouche was right!

Dad: (Gulps) I suppose you want to probe me. Well, might as well get it over with. (Starts to unzip his pants)

Alien: Stop! We have reached the limits of what rectal probing can teach us.

Girl: Wait, one of them is nailing something to the door of the cathedral. (Gasps) I've created Lutherans!

Girl: Science has already proven the dangers of smoking, alcohol, and Chinese food. But I can still ruin soft drinks for everyone!

Dad: We'll search out every place a sick twisted solitary misfit might run to.

Girl: I'll start with Radio Shack.

Doctor But what to do with poor Hugo? Too crazy for Boys Town, too much of a boy for Crazy Town. The child was an outcast. So, we did the only humane thing.

Dad: We chained Hugo up in the attic like an animal and fed him a bucket of fish heads once a week.

Mom: It's saved our marriage.

Girl: (Upon waking up and seeing her tooth.) Mold! That's science project paydirt!

(From The Thing and I)

Doctor: You never forget the birth of Siamese twins!

Girl: I believe they prefer to be called "Conjoined twins."

Doctor: And hillbillies want to be called "Sons of the Soil," but it ain't gonna happen. (Laughs)

Alien 2: (as Clinton) I am Clin-ton. As overlord, all will kneel trembling before me and obey my brutal command. End communication. (crosses arms)

Dad: What are you spraying me with?

Alien: Rum! So no one will believe your story.

Aide: (closely resembling George Stephanopoulos) People are becoming a bit confused by the way you and your opponent are… well… constantly holding hands.

Alien: (as Dole) We are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way, I'd like to hear it.

Mom: (on phone, gravely) Yes, Doctor, it's what we've always feared -- it's loose. Hugo is loose. (cheerfully) See you soon!

Senator: (captive on the alien saucer) I am so mad at the Secret Service right now.

(From "The Genesis Tub")

Girl: Oh, great. I'm stuck in this lousy tub for the rest of my life.

(People stare at her)

Girl: Shouldn't you people be groveling?

(Everyone starts groveling)

Girl: And bring me some shoes. Nice ones.

Man: She'll want socks, too. I'll get socks.

Template:Season 8 Q