None of Those Things

The contents of this article or section are considered to be non-canon and therefore may not have actually happened or existed in-universe.

"None of Those Things"

Song Information Characters: Homer Simpson Marge Simpson Bart Simpson Fake Lisa Simpson Writer(s): Original: Rodgers and Hammerstein Parody lyrics: Ty Templeton Appearance(s): The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase: Quickly Cancelled Comic Book Cavalcade

"None of Those Things" is a song performed by the Simpson family on The Simpson Family Smile-Time Variety Hour.

Lyrics

Homer:

Shelter from sunlight and water that freezes.

Access to meat that is free of diseases.

Marge:

Music that plays while our family sings...

I hope I live to see some of those things.

Fake Lisa:

TV and toasters and clean running water.

Marge:

Doctors and teachers for your son or daughter.

Homer:

Comforts that civilization would bring.

Bart:

This crummy island has none of those things.

Fake Lisa:

When the shark bites, when the bee stings, when the land is cursed...

Bart:

I simply remember these faraway things...

And somehow I feel much worse.

Behind the Laughter

"None of Those Things" is a parody of "My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music.

Appearances

• Comic story – The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase: Quickly Cancelled Comic Book Cavalcade (The Simpson Family Smile-Time Salute to Rock & Roll)