Difference between revisions of "Radio Bart/Quotes"
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{{TabQ|gags=yes}} | {{TabQ|gags=yes}} | ||
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|I Married Marge|Lisa the Greek}} | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|I Married Marge|Lisa the Greek}} | ||
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''[Looking for a snack, [[Homer]] finds several containers of {{W|Neapolitan ice cream}} in the freezer.]'' | ''[Looking for a snack, [[Homer]] finds several containers of {{W|Neapolitan ice cream}} in the freezer.]'' | ||
| − | '''Homer''': ''[in anticipation]'' "Mmmm ... chocolate!" | + | '''[[Homer]]''': ''[in anticipation]'' "Mmmm... chocolate!" |
''[Homer opens the container and the chocolate ice cream is all gone. The strawberry and vanilla, however, are completely untouched.]'' | ''[Homer opens the container and the chocolate ice cream is all gone. The strawberry and vanilla, however, are completely untouched.]'' | ||
| − | '''Homer''': "D'oh! ''[tries another container]'' Mmmm...chocolate! ''[same results]'' D'oh!" | + | '''Homer''': "D'oh! ''[tries another container]'' Mmmm... chocolate! ''[same results]'' D'oh!" |
''[Homer checks the rest of the containers and they're all the same: Chocolate all gone and strawberry and vanilla untouched.]'' | ''[Homer checks the rest of the containers and they're all the same: Chocolate all gone and strawberry and vanilla untouched.]'' | ||
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'''Homer''': ''[hollering]'' "Marge! We need some more vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream!" | '''Homer''': ''[hollering]'' "Marge! We need some more vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream!" | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''[Bart plays his first prank with the [[Superstar Celebrity Microphone]]. The victim is | + | ''[Bart plays his first prank with the [[Superstar Celebrity Microphone]]. The victim is Homer.]'' |
'''[[Bart]]''': ''[on radio]'' "People of Earth, this is Bartron, commander of the Martian invasion force. Your planet is in our hands. Resistance is useless. We have captured your President. He was delicious!" | '''[[Bart]]''': ''[on radio]'' "People of Earth, this is Bartron, commander of the Martian invasion force. Your planet is in our hands. Resistance is useless. We have captured your President. He was delicious!" | ||
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''[Homer screams, runs out of the kitchen, and fetches a shotgun.]'' | ''[Homer screams, runs out of the kitchen, and fetches a shotgun.]'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''[Bart and his microphone strike again. This time the victims are | + | ''[Bart and his microphone strike again. This time the victims are Rod and Todd Flanders.]'' |
| − | ''' | + | '''Bart''': ''[on radio]'' "Rod! Todd! This is God!" |
| − | '''Rod''': "How did you get on the radio?" | + | '''[[Rod]]''': "How did you get on the radio?" |
'''Bart''': "Whaddya mean, 'How did I get on the radio?' I created the universe! Stupid kid." | '''Bart''': "Whaddya mean, 'How did I get on the radio?' I created the universe! Stupid kid." | ||
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''[Rod and Todd quickly fall to their kness and clasp their hands.]'' | ''[Rod and Todd quickly fall to their kness and clasp their hands.]'' | ||
| − | '''Todd''': "Forgive my brother, we believe you!" | + | '''[[Todd]]''': "Forgive my brother, we believe you!" |
'''Bart''': "Talk is cheap. Here is a test of your faith. Walk through the wall; I will remove it for you!" | '''Bart''': "Talk is cheap. Here is a test of your faith. Walk through the wall; I will remove it for you!" | ||
| Line 53: | Line 52: | ||
'''Rod and Todd''': "Yes, sir!" | '''Rod and Todd''': "Yes, sir!" | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''[After hearing [[Timmy O'Toole]]'s voice in the well, | + | ''[After hearing [[Timmy O'Toole]]'s voice in the well, Groundskeeper Willie leaps onto his tractor and drives to town for help.]'' |
| − | '''Willie''': ''[cutting several cars off]'' "Outta my way! Look out, ya horse’s ass!" | + | '''[[Willie]]''': ''[cutting several cars off]'' "Outta my way! Look out, ya horse’s ass!" |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''[In an interview with | + | ''[In an interview with Kent Brockman, Krusty the Clown tells the story of the making of "[[We're Sending Our Love Down the Well]]."]'' |
| − | '''Krusty''': "I called my good friend | + | '''[[Krusty]]''': "I called my good friend Sting. He said, 'Krusty, when do you need me?' I said, 'Thursday.' He said, 'I'm busy Thursday.' I said, 'What about Friday?' He said, 'Friday's worse than Thursday.' Then '''he''' said, 'How about Saturday?' I said, 'Fine.' True story!" |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''[After falling into the well, | + | ''[After falling into the well, Bart confesses his prank to [[Springfield Police]] officers Lou and Eddie.]'' |
'''Bart''': "Look, I'll level with you. There is no Timmy O'Toole. It was just a prank I was playing on everybody." | '''Bart''': "Look, I'll level with you. There is no Timmy O'Toole. It was just a prank I was playing on everybody." | ||
| − | '''Lou''': "Well you sure fooled us, kid." | + | '''[[Lou]]''': "Well you sure fooled us, kid." |
| − | '''Eddie''': "Hey, I've got an idea for a prank. Let’s go home and go to sleep." | + | '''[[Eddie]]''': "Hey, I've got an idea for a prank. Let’s go home and go to sleep." |
''[They laugh and walk away, leaving Bart in the well.]'' | ''[They laugh and walk away, leaving Bart in the well.]'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''[On [[Channel 6 News]], | + | ''[On [[Channel 6 News]], Kent Brockman interviews Homer and Marge about Bart's being stuck in the well.]'' |
| − | '''Kent''': "The time has come for finger-pointing, and most of them are squarely aimed at the boy's parents." | + | '''[[Kent]]''': "The time has come for finger-pointing, and most of them are squarely aimed at the boy's parents." |
'''Homer''': "It's not our fault! We didn't want the boy, he was an accident!" | '''Homer''': "It's not our fault! We didn't want the boy, he was an accident!" | ||
| − | '''Marge''': ''[indignantly]'' "Homer!!!" | + | '''[[Marge]]''': ''[indignantly]'' "Homer!!!" |
'''Homer''': "Uh ... Could you edit that last part out?" | '''Homer''': "Uh ... Could you edit that last part out?" | ||
| Line 85: | Line 84: | ||
'''Homer''': "D'oh!" | '''Homer''': "D'oh!" | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''[Led by | + | ''[Led by Homer, a group of townspeople work to dig [[Bart]] out of the well after the city of [[Springfield]] refuses to help.]'' |
'''[[Apu]]''': "The canary!" | '''[[Apu]]''': "The canary!" | ||
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'''Willie''': "Gas!!" "Out of the hole!" | '''Willie''': "Gas!!" "Out of the hole!" | ||
| − | ''[Everyone runs out of the well in panic. | + | ''[Everyone runs out of the well in panic. Dr. Hibbert performs a quick autopsy on the dead canary.]'' |
| − | '''Dr. Hibbert''': "Gentlemen, this canary died of natural causes." | + | '''[[Dr. Hibbert]]''': "Gentlemen, this canary died of natural causes." |
'''Willie''': "Back in the hole!" | '''Willie''': "Back in the hole!" | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''[Also joining in the effort to rescue | + | ''[Also joining in the effort to rescue Bart is Sting.]'' |
| − | ''' | + | '''Marge''': "Sting, you look tired. Maybe you should take a rest." |
| − | '''Sting''': "Not while one of my fans needs me." | + | '''{{ch|Sting}}''': "Not while one of my fans needs me." |
'''Marge''': "Actually, I don't know if I've ever heard Bart play one of your albums." | '''Marge''': "Actually, I don't know if I've ever heard Bart play one of your albums." | ||
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'''[[Chief Wiggum]]''': "I'm afraid we've got a budget problem, Marge. Your boy picked a bad time to fall down a well. If he had done it at the beginning of the fiscal year, no problemo." | '''[[Chief Wiggum]]''': "I'm afraid we've got a budget problem, Marge. Your boy picked a bad time to fall down a well. If he had done it at the beginning of the fiscal year, no problemo." | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | '''Homer''': "That little Timmy is a real hero." |
| − | ''' | + | '''Lisa''': "What makes him a hero, Dad?" |
'''Homer''': "Well, he fell down the well and ... can't get out." | '''Homer''': "Well, he fell down the well and ... can't get out." | ||
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'''Homer''': "Well, it's more than you did!" | '''Homer''': "Well, it's more than you did!" | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | '''Bart''': ''[at the barber shop, getting a shave]'' "Digital audio tape, my butt! When I was a kid, we had compact disks, and I don't recall no one complaining." |
'''Barber''': "Damn right." | '''Barber''': "Damn right." | ||
Revision as of 12:06, November 11, 2018
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[Looking for a snack, Homer finds several containers of Neapolitan ice cream in the freezer.]
Homer: [in anticipation] "Mmmm... chocolate!"
[Homer opens the container and the chocolate ice cream is all gone. The strawberry and vanilla, however, are completely untouched.]
Homer: "D'oh! [tries another container] Mmmm... chocolate! [same results] D'oh!"
[Homer checks the rest of the containers and they're all the same: Chocolate all gone and strawberry and vanilla untouched.]
Homer: [hollering] "Marge! We need some more vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream!"
[Bart plays his first prank with the Superstar Celebrity Microphone. The victim is Homer.]
Bart: [on radio] "People of Earth, this is Bartron, commander of the Martian invasion force. Your planet is in our hands. Resistance is useless. We have captured your President. He was delicious!"
[Homer screams, runs out of the kitchen, and fetches a shotgun.]
[Bart and his microphone strike again. This time the victims are Rod and Todd Flanders.]
Bart: [on radio] "Rod! Todd! This is God!"
Rod: "How did you get on the radio?"
Bart: "Whaddya mean, 'How did I get on the radio?' I created the universe! Stupid kid."
[Rod and Todd quickly fall to their kness and clasp their hands.]
Todd: "Forgive my brother, we believe you!"
Bart: "Talk is cheap. Here is a test of your faith. Walk through the wall; I will remove it for you!"
[Rod makes the attempt and walks into the wall.]
Bart: "Later." [laughs]
Todd: "What do you want from us?"
Bart: "I got a job for you. Bring forth all the cookies from your kitchen and leave them on the Simpsons' porch."
Rod: "But those cookies belong to our parents!"
Bart: [grumbles] "Look, do you want a happy God or a vengeful God?"
Todd: [quickly] "Happy God!"
Bart: "Then quit flapping your lip and make with the cookies!"
Rod and Todd: "Yes, sir!"
[After hearing Timmy O'Toole's voice in the well, Groundskeeper Willie leaps onto his tractor and drives to town for help.]
Willie: [cutting several cars off] "Outta my way! Look out, ya horse’s ass!"
[In an interview with Kent Brockman, Krusty the Clown tells the story of the making of "We're Sending Our Love Down the Well."]
Krusty: "I called my good friend Sting. He said, 'Krusty, when do you need me?' I said, 'Thursday.' He said, 'I'm busy Thursday.' I said, 'What about Friday?' He said, 'Friday's worse than Thursday.' Then he said, 'How about Saturday?' I said, 'Fine.' True story!"
[After falling into the well, Bart confesses his prank to Springfield Police officers Lou and Eddie.]
Bart: "Look, I'll level with you. There is no Timmy O'Toole. It was just a prank I was playing on everybody."
Lou: "Well you sure fooled us, kid."
Eddie: "Hey, I've got an idea for a prank. Let’s go home and go to sleep."
[They laugh and walk away, leaving Bart in the well.]
[On Channel 6 News, Kent Brockman interviews Homer and Marge about Bart's being stuck in the well.]
Kent: "The time has come for finger-pointing, and most of them are squarely aimed at the boy's parents."
Homer: "It's not our fault! We didn't want the boy, he was an accident!"
Marge: [indignantly] "Homer!!!"
Homer: "Uh ... Could you edit that last part out?"
Kent: "Mr. Simpson, we're live, coast-to-coast!"
Homer: "D'oh!"
[Led by Homer, a group of townspeople work to dig Bart out of the well after the city of Springfield refuses to help.]
Apu: "The canary!"
Willie: "Gas!!" "Out of the hole!"
[Everyone runs out of the well in panic. Dr. Hibbert performs a quick autopsy on the dead canary.]
Dr. Hibbert: "Gentlemen, this canary died of natural causes."
Willie: "Back in the hole!"
[Also joining in the effort to rescue Bart is Sting.]
Marge: "Sting, you look tired. Maybe you should take a rest."
Sting: "Not while one of my fans needs me."
Marge: "Actually, I don't know if I've ever heard Bart play one of your albums."
Homer: [shushing Marge] "Sssshhhh!! Marge, he's a good digger!"
Lisa: "Dad, can I have some money to buy Bart a birthday present?"
Homer: "Here you go."
Lisa: [counts the money] "Dad, this is $110!"
Homer: "Oh, sorry." [gives her his wallet]
Falcon Man: "Grasping the child firmly in his talons, Socrates here will fly him to safety! Just watch. [The falcon is released and flies away.] I don't think he's coming back."
Chief Wiggum: "I'm afraid we've got a budget problem, Marge. Your boy picked a bad time to fall down a well. If he had done it at the beginning of the fiscal year, no problemo."
Homer: "That little Timmy is a real hero."
Lisa: "What makes him a hero, Dad?"
Homer: "Well, he fell down the well and ... can't get out."
Lisa: "How does that make him a hero?"
Homer: "Well, it's more than you did!"
Bart: [at the barber shop, getting a shave] "Digital audio tape, my butt! When I was a kid, we had compact disks, and I don't recall no one complaining."
Barber: "Damn right."
Homer: "Don't worry, son. Just 'cuz you're trapped in a hole doesn't mean you can't live a rich and full life."
