Difference between revisions of "MyPods and Boomsticks/Quotes"

Revision as of 09:47, February 28, 2012

[At the Mapple Store, an announcement comes over the speaker system.]

Announcer: [on speakers] "Attention, Mapple Universe. Prepare for a live announcement from Mapple founder and Chief Imaginative Officer Steve Mobbs."

People in Crowd: "Steve Mobbs!" -- "He's a genius!" -- "He's like a god who knows what we want!"

Steve Mobbs: [appearing on giant video screen] "Greetings! It is I, your insanely great leader, Steve Mobbs. I'm speaking to you from Mapple headquarters, deep below the sea, with an announcement that will completely change the way you look at everything. [The crowd gasps.] And that announcement is-"

[Seeing the opportunity for a prank, Bart plugs in a microphone and cuts into Mobbs' announcement. On the screen, Mobbs is now talking silently while Bart provides him with new material.]

Bart: "You're all losers! [The crowd gasps -- "Huhhhh??"] You think you're cool because you buy a five-hundred-dollar phone with a picture of a fruit on it? Well, guess what. They cost eight bucks to make and I pee on every one!"

Crowd: "Eeeeeewwwww!!" [They drop their MyPhones, MyPods and other Mapple merchandise onto the floor.]

Bart: [continuing] "I have made a fortune off you chumps and I've invested it all in Microsoft. Now my boyfriend Bill Gates and I kiss each other on a pile of your money!"

[The crowd gasps again. Comic Book Guy, carrying a large slegdehammer, charges the screen.]

Comic Book Guy: "Traitor! Your heart is blacker than your turtleneck!"

[Comic Book Guy hurls the sledgehammer into the screen, shattering it, and several Mapple Store employees wrestle him to the floor. Bart chuckles at the scene.]

Mapple Store Employee: "Who dares question the boss we fired ten years ago and then brought back?"

Lisa: [pointing accusingly] "It was my brother, Bart!"

Mapple Store Employee: "Flay him with your earbuds! Flay him, I say!"

[All the employees take their earbuds off, twirl them, and advance on Bart.]

Marge: "You're teaching Bart a terrible lesson of intolerance!"

Homer: "I'm sorry. It's just so fun and easy to judge people based on religion."

Kearney: "What's your name, sweat stain?"

Bashir: "Uh, Bashir?"

Kearney: "'Bash here?' I love a kid that comes with directions!"

[Beneath the sea, Lisa goes to Mapple headquarters to see Steve Mobbs about her MyTunes bill.]

Employee: "Mr. Mobbs, there's a surface dweller here to see you. MyTunes user JazzGal62."

Steve Mobbs: "Oh, Lisa Simpson. Send her in!"

[Lisa comes in.]

Steve Mobbs: "Lisa, it's insanely great to see you."

Lisa: [pleading her case] "Um, Mr. Mobbs, I sort of downloaded too many songs onto my MyPod and I don't have the money to pay for them. Do you think you could consider a reduced payment plan?"

Steve Mobbs: "I'm sorry. I know our posters say 'Think differently,' but our real slogan is 'No refunds.'"

Lisa: [tearfully] "Can't you open your Mapple menu and click on the compassion bar? Oh, please."

[Steve Mobbs thinks for a moment.]

Steve Mobbs: "Lisa, how would you like to work for Mapple?"

Lisa: [perking up] "Would I ever!"

[The scene shifts to a busy street corner. Lisa is wearing a MyPod costume and handing out flyers to passersby.]

Lisa: [blandly and unenthusiastically] "Think differently. Think differently. Think differently. [sighs] Think differently."

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