Difference between revisions of "Radio Bart/Quotes"
| Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
{{TabQ|episode=Radio Bart}} | {{TabQ|episode=Radio Bart}} | ||
| − | [Looking for a snack, [[Homer]] finds several containers of [[wikipedia:Neapolitan ice cream|Neapolitan ice cream]] in the freezer.] | + | ''[Looking for a snack, [[Homer]] finds several containers of [[wikipedia:Neapolitan ice cream|Neapolitan ice cream]] in the freezer.]'' |
'''Homer''': ''[in anticipation]'' "Mmmm ... chocolate!" | '''Homer''': ''[in anticipation]'' "Mmmm ... chocolate!" | ||
| − | |||
''[Homer opens the container and the chocolate ice cream is all gone. The strawberry and vanilla, however, are completely untouched.]'' | ''[Homer opens the container and the chocolate ice cream is all gone. The strawberry and vanilla, however, are completely untouched.]'' | ||
| − | |||
'''Homer''': "D'oh! ''[tries another container]'' Mmmm...chocolate! ''[same results]'' D'oh!" | '''Homer''': "D'oh! ''[tries another container]'' Mmmm...chocolate! ''[same results]'' D'oh!" | ||
| − | + | ''[Homer checks the rest of the containers and they're all the same: Chocolate all gone and strawberry and vanilla untouched.]'' | |
| − | ''[Homer | ||
| − | |||
'''Homer''': ''[hollering]'' "Marge! We need some more vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream!" | '''Homer''': ''[hollering]'' "Marge! We need some more vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream!" | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | [Bart plays his first prank with the [[Superstar Celebrity Microphone]]. The victim is [[Homer]].] | + | ''[Bart plays his first prank with the [[Superstar Celebrity Microphone]]. The victim is [[Homer]].]'' |
| − | |||
'''[[Bart]]''': ''[on radio]'' "People of Earth, this is Bartron, commander of the Martian invasion force. Your planet is in our hands. Resistance is useless. We have captured your President. He was delicious!" | '''[[Bart]]''': ''[on radio]'' "People of Earth, this is Bartron, commander of the Martian invasion force. Your planet is in our hands. Resistance is useless. We have captured your President. He was delicious!" | ||
| − | |||
''[Homer screams, runs out of the kitchen, and fetches a shotgun.]'' | ''[Homer screams, runs out of the kitchen, and fetches a shotgun.]'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
''[Bart and his microphone strike again. This time the victims are [[Rod]] and [[Todd]] Flanders.]'' | ''[Bart and his microphone strike again. This time the victims are [[Rod]] and [[Todd]] Flanders.]'' | ||
| − | |||
'''[[Bart]]''': ''[on radio]'' "Rod! Todd! This is God!" | '''[[Bart]]''': ''[on radio]'' "Rod! Todd! This is God!" | ||
| − | |||
'''Rod''': "How did you get on the radio?" | '''Rod''': "How did you get on the radio?" | ||
| − | |||
'''Bart''': "Whaddya mean, 'How did I get on the radio?' I created the universe! Stupid kid." | '''Bart''': "Whaddya mean, 'How did I get on the radio?' I created the universe! Stupid kid." | ||
| − | |||
''[Rod and Todd quickly fall to their kness and clasp their hands.]'' | ''[Rod and Todd quickly fall to their kness and clasp their hands.]'' | ||
| − | |||
'''Todd''': "Forgive my brother, we believe you!" | '''Todd''': "Forgive my brother, we believe you!" | ||
| − | |||
'''Bart''': "Talk is cheap. Here is a test of your faith. Walk through the wall; I will remove it for you!" | '''Bart''': "Talk is cheap. Here is a test of your faith. Walk through the wall; I will remove it for you!" | ||
| − | |||
''[Rod makes the attempt and walks into the wall.]'' | ''[Rod makes the attempt and walks into the wall.]'' | ||
| − | |||
'''Bart''': "Later." ''[laughs]'' | '''Bart''': "Later." ''[laughs]'' | ||
| − | |||
'''Todd''': "What do you want from us?" | '''Todd''': "What do you want from us?" | ||
| − | |||
'''Bart''': "I got a job for you. Bring forth all the cookies from your kitchen and leave them on the Simpsons' porch." | '''Bart''': "I got a job for you. Bring forth all the cookies from your kitchen and leave them on the Simpsons' porch." | ||
| − | |||
'''Rod''': "But those cookies belong to our parents!" | '''Rod''': "But those cookies belong to our parents!" | ||
| − | |||
'''Bart''': ''[grumbles]'' "Look, do you want a happy God or a vengeful God?" | '''Bart''': ''[grumbles]'' "Look, do you want a happy God or a vengeful God?" | ||
| − | |||
'''Todd''': ''[quickly]'' "Happy God!" | '''Todd''': ''[quickly]'' "Happy God!" | ||
| − | |||
'''Bart''': "Then quit flapping your lip and make with the cookies!" | '''Bart''': "Then quit flapping your lip and make with the cookies!" | ||
| − | |||
'''Rod and Todd''': "Yes, sir!" | '''Rod and Todd''': "Yes, sir!" | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | [After hearing [[Timmy O'Toole]]'s voice in the well, [[Groundskeeper Willie]] leaps onto his tractor and drives to town for help.] | + | ''[After hearing [[Timmy O'Toole]]'s voice in the well, [[Groundskeeper Willie]] leaps onto his tractor and drives to town for help.]'' |
| − | |||
'''Willie''': ''[cutting several cars off]'' "Outta my way! Look out, ya horse’s ass!" | '''Willie''': ''[cutting several cars off]'' "Outta my way! Look out, ya horse’s ass!" | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | [In an interview with [[Kent Brockman]], [[Krusty the Clown]] tells the story of the making of "[[We're Sending Our Love Down the Well]]."] | + | ''[In an interview with [[Kent Brockman]], [[Krusty the Clown]] tells the story of the making of "[[We're Sending Our Love Down the Well]]."]'' |
| − | |||
'''Krusty''': "I called my good friend [[Sting (character)|Sting]]. He said, 'Krusty, when do you need me?' I said, 'Thursday.' He said, 'I'm busy Thursday.' I said, 'What about Friday?' He said, 'Friday's worse than Thursday.' Then '''he''' said, 'How about Saturday?' I said, 'Fine.' True story!" | '''Krusty''': "I called my good friend [[Sting (character)|Sting]]. He said, 'Krusty, when do you need me?' I said, 'Thursday.' He said, 'I'm busy Thursday.' I said, 'What about Friday?' He said, 'Friday's worse than Thursday.' Then '''he''' said, 'How about Saturday?' I said, 'Fine.' True story!" | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | [After falling into the well, [[Bart]] confesses his prank to [[Springfield Police]] officers [[Lou]] and [[Eddie]].] | + | ''[After falling into the well, [[Bart]] confesses his prank to [[Springfield Police]] officers [[Lou]] and [[Eddie]].]'' |
| − | |||
'''Bart''': "Look, I'll level with you. There is no Timmy 'O Toole. It was just a prank I was playing on everybody." | '''Bart''': "Look, I'll level with you. There is no Timmy 'O Toole. It was just a prank I was playing on everybody." | ||
| − | |||
'''Lou''': "Well you sure fooled us, kid." | '''Lou''': "Well you sure fooled us, kid." | ||
| − | |||
'''Eddie''': "Hey, I've got an idea for a prank. Let’s go home and go to sleep." | '''Eddie''': "Hey, I've got an idea for a prank. Let’s go home and go to sleep." | ||
| − | |||
''[They laugh and walk away, leaving Bart in the well.]'' | ''[They laugh and walk away, leaving Bart in the well.]'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | [On [[Channel 6 News]], [[Kent Brockman]] interviews [[Homer]] and [[Marge]] about [[Bart]]'s being stuck in the well.] | + | ''[On [[Channel 6 News]], [[Kent Brockman]] interviews [[Homer]] and [[Marge]] about [[Bart]]'s being stuck in the well.]'' |
| − | |||
'''Kent''': "The time has come for finger-pointing, and most of them are squarely aimed at the boy's parents." | '''Kent''': "The time has come for finger-pointing, and most of them are squarely aimed at the boy's parents." | ||
| − | |||
'''Homer''': "It's not our fault! We didn't want the boy, he was an accident!" | '''Homer''': "It's not our fault! We didn't want the boy, he was an accident!" | ||
| − | |||
'''Marge''': ''[indignantly]'' "Homer!!!" | '''Marge''': ''[indignantly]'' "Homer!!!" | ||
| − | |||
'''Homer''': "Uh ... Could you edit that last part out?" | '''Homer''': "Uh ... Could you edit that last part out?" | ||
| − | |||
'''Kent''': "Mr. Simpson, we're live, coast-to-coast!" | '''Kent''': "Mr. Simpson, we're live, coast-to-coast!" | ||
| − | |||
'''Homer''': "D'oh!" | '''Homer''': "D'oh!" | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | [Led by [[Homer]], a group of townspeople work to dig [[Bart]] out of the well after the city of [[Springfield]] refuses to help.] | + | ''[Led by [[Homer]], a group of townspeople work to dig [[Bart]] out of the well after the city of [[Springfield]] refuses to help.]'' |
| − | |||
'''[[Barney]]''': "Hey! A dead bird!" | '''[[Barney]]''': "Hey! A dead bird!" | ||
| − | |||
'''[[Moe]]''': "Out of the well!" | '''[[Moe]]''': "Out of the well!" | ||
| − | |||
''[Everyone runs out of the well in panic. [[Dr. Hibbert]] performs a quick autopsy on the dead bird.]'' | ''[Everyone runs out of the well in panic. [[Dr. Hibbert]] performs a quick autopsy on the dead bird.]'' | ||
| − | |||
'''Dr. Hibbert''': "Gentlemen, this bird died of natural causes." | '''Dr. Hibbert''': "Gentlemen, this bird died of natural causes." | ||
| − | |||
'''Moe''': "Back in the well!" | '''Moe''': "Back in the well!" | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | [Also joining in the effort to rescue [[Bart]] is [[Sting (character)|Sting]].] | + | ''[Also joining in the effort to rescue [[Bart]] is [[Sting (character)|Sting]].]'' |
| − | |||
'''[[Marge]]''': "Sting, you look tired. Maybe you should take a rest." | '''[[Marge]]''': "Sting, you look tired. Maybe you should take a rest." | ||
| − | |||
'''Sting''': "Not while one of my fans needs me." | '''Sting''': "Not while one of my fans needs me." | ||
| − | |||
'''Marge''': "Actually, I don't know if I've ever heard Bart play one of your albums." | '''Marge''': "Actually, I don't know if I've ever heard Bart play one of your albums." | ||
| − | |||
'''Homer''': ''[shushing Marge]'' "Sssshhhh!! Marge, he's a good digger!" | '''Homer''': ''[shushing Marge]'' "Sssshhhh!! Marge, he's a good digger!" | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | '''Lisa''': Dad, can I have some money to buy Bart a birthday present? | + | '''[[Lisa]]''': "Dad, can I have some money to buy Bart a birthday present?" |
| − | + | '''[[Homer]]''': "Here you go." | |
| − | '''Homer''': Here you go. | + | '''Lisa''': ''[counts the money]'' "Dad, this is $110!" |
| − | + | '''Homer''': "Oh, sorry." ''[gives her his wallet]'' | |
| − | '''Lisa''': | ||
| − | |||
| − | '''Homer''': Oh, sorry. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | '''Falcon Man''': Grasping the child firmly in his talons, Socrates here will fly him to safety! Just watch. | + | '''Falcon Man''': "Grasping the child firmly in his talons, Socrates here will fly him to safety! Just watch. ''[The falcon is released and flies away.]'' I don't think he's coming back." |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | '''Chief Wiggum''': I'm afraid we've got a budget problem, Marge. Your boy picked a bad time to fall down a well. If he had done it at the beginning of the fiscal year, no problemo. | + | '''[[Chief Wiggum]]''': "I'm afraid we've got a budget problem, Marge. Your boy picked a bad time to fall down a well. If he had done it at the beginning of the fiscal year, no problemo." |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | '''Homer''': That little Timmy is a real hero. | + | '''[[Homer]]''': "That little [[Timmy O'Toole|Timmy]] is a real hero." |
| − | + | '''[[Lisa]]''': "What makes him a hero, Dad?" | |
| − | '''Lisa''': What makes him a hero | + | '''Homer''': "Well, he fell down the well and ... can't get out." |
| − | + | '''Lisa''': "How does that make him a hero?" | |
| − | '''Homer''': Well, he fell down the well and ... can't get out. | + | '''Homer''': "Well, it's more than you did!" |
| − | |||
| − | '''Lisa''': How does that make him a hero? | ||
| − | |||
| − | '''Homer''': Well, it's more than you did! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | '''Bart''': [at the barber shop, getting a shave] Digital audio tape, my butt! When I was a kid, we had compact disks, and I don't recall no one complaining. | + | '''[[Bart]]''': ''[at the barber shop, getting a shave]'' "Digital audio tape, my butt! When I was a kid, we had compact disks, and I don't recall no one complaining." |
| − | + | '''Barber''': "Damn right." | |
| − | '''Barber''': Damn right. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | '''Homer''': Don't worry, son. Just 'cuz you're trapped in a hole doesn't mean you can't live a rich and full life. | + | '''Homer''': "Don't worry, son. Just 'cuz you're trapped in a hole doesn't mean you can't live a rich and full life." |
---- | ---- | ||
Revision as of 17:56, September 17, 2010
[Looking for a snack, Homer finds several containers of Neapolitan ice cream in the freezer.]
Homer: [in anticipation] "Mmmm ... chocolate!"
[Homer opens the container and the chocolate ice cream is all gone. The strawberry and vanilla, however, are completely untouched.]
Homer: "D'oh! [tries another container] Mmmm...chocolate! [same results] D'oh!"
[Homer checks the rest of the containers and they're all the same: Chocolate all gone and strawberry and vanilla untouched.]
Homer: [hollering] "Marge! We need some more vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream!"
[Bart plays his first prank with the Superstar Celebrity Microphone. The victim is Homer.] Bart: [on radio] "People of Earth, this is Bartron, commander of the Martian invasion force. Your planet is in our hands. Resistance is useless. We have captured your President. He was delicious!" [Homer screams, runs out of the kitchen, and fetches a shotgun.]
[Bart and his microphone strike again. This time the victims are Rod and Todd Flanders.] Bart: [on radio] "Rod! Todd! This is God!" Rod: "How did you get on the radio?" Bart: "Whaddya mean, 'How did I get on the radio?' I created the universe! Stupid kid." [Rod and Todd quickly fall to their kness and clasp their hands.] Todd: "Forgive my brother, we believe you!" Bart: "Talk is cheap. Here is a test of your faith. Walk through the wall; I will remove it for you!" [Rod makes the attempt and walks into the wall.] Bart: "Later." [laughs] Todd: "What do you want from us?" Bart: "I got a job for you. Bring forth all the cookies from your kitchen and leave them on the Simpsons' porch." Rod: "But those cookies belong to our parents!" Bart: [grumbles] "Look, do you want a happy God or a vengeful God?" Todd: [quickly] "Happy God!" Bart: "Then quit flapping your lip and make with the cookies!" Rod and Todd: "Yes, sir!"
[After hearing Timmy O'Toole's voice in the well, Groundskeeper Willie leaps onto his tractor and drives to town for help.] Willie: [cutting several cars off] "Outta my way! Look out, ya horse’s ass!"
[In an interview with Kent Brockman, Krusty the Clown tells the story of the making of "We're Sending Our Love Down the Well."] Krusty: "I called my good friend Sting. He said, 'Krusty, when do you need me?' I said, 'Thursday.' He said, 'I'm busy Thursday.' I said, 'What about Friday?' He said, 'Friday's worse than Thursday.' Then he said, 'How about Saturday?' I said, 'Fine.' True story!"
[After falling into the well, Bart confesses his prank to Springfield Police officers Lou and Eddie.] Bart: "Look, I'll level with you. There is no Timmy 'O Toole. It was just a prank I was playing on everybody." Lou: "Well you sure fooled us, kid." Eddie: "Hey, I've got an idea for a prank. Let’s go home and go to sleep." [They laugh and walk away, leaving Bart in the well.]
[On Channel 6 News, Kent Brockman interviews Homer and Marge about Bart's being stuck in the well.] Kent: "The time has come for finger-pointing, and most of them are squarely aimed at the boy's parents." Homer: "It's not our fault! We didn't want the boy, he was an accident!" Marge: [indignantly] "Homer!!!" Homer: "Uh ... Could you edit that last part out?" Kent: "Mr. Simpson, we're live, coast-to-coast!" Homer: "D'oh!"
[Led by Homer, a group of townspeople work to dig Bart out of the well after the city of Springfield refuses to help.] Barney: "Hey! A dead bird!" Moe: "Out of the well!" [Everyone runs out of the well in panic. Dr. Hibbert performs a quick autopsy on the dead bird.] Dr. Hibbert: "Gentlemen, this bird died of natural causes." Moe: "Back in the well!"
[Also joining in the effort to rescue Bart is Sting.] Marge: "Sting, you look tired. Maybe you should take a rest." Sting: "Not while one of my fans needs me." Marge: "Actually, I don't know if I've ever heard Bart play one of your albums." Homer: [shushing Marge] "Sssshhhh!! Marge, he's a good digger!"
Lisa: "Dad, can I have some money to buy Bart a birthday present?" Homer: "Here you go." Lisa: [counts the money] "Dad, this is $110!" Homer: "Oh, sorry." [gives her his wallet]
Falcon Man: "Grasping the child firmly in his talons, Socrates here will fly him to safety! Just watch. [The falcon is released and flies away.] I don't think he's coming back."
Chief Wiggum: "I'm afraid we've got a budget problem, Marge. Your boy picked a bad time to fall down a well. If he had done it at the beginning of the fiscal year, no problemo."
Homer: "That little Timmy is a real hero." Lisa: "What makes him a hero, Dad?" Homer: "Well, he fell down the well and ... can't get out." Lisa: "How does that make him a hero?" Homer: "Well, it's more than you did!"
Bart: [at the barber shop, getting a shave] "Digital audio tape, my butt! When I was a kid, we had compact disks, and I don't recall no one complaining." Barber: "Damn right."
Homer: "Don't worry, son. Just 'cuz you're trapped in a hole doesn't mean you can't live a rich and full life."
