Difference between revisions of "Homer vs. the Raccoon/Quotes"

Revision as of 12:56, August 21, 2026

Homer: ...Mumble...Grumble...Stupid cocktail weenies...What kind of drink is that?...Mumble...Grumble...

Marge: [YAWN!] Homer, wake up. I think there's someone outside.

Bart: Mom, I can't sleep. And I have a big math test to fail tomorrow.

Marge: Your father's taking care of it now. Homer, that noise is waking up everyone in the house.

Homer: Flanders! Why don't you go through your neighbor's trash at a decent hour like the rest of us! Flanders?!

Lisa: What's going on?

Homer: Lisa! There's a cat in our trashcans! And it's wearing a mask!

Lisa: That's a raccoon, Dad. They're rodents. He was only looking for food.

Homer: Don't worry, honey. Daddy will kill the big scary rat.

Lisa: Dad, you can't kill the raccoon! It's inhumane!

Homer: Daddy's not a monster. I'm going to crush the raccoon's skull the humane way.

Ned Flanders: Can't help but notice you've got an anvil suspended over my new trashcans.

Homer: You can't expect me to use my trashcans. Your trashcans are the thing—you know, like in an experiment.

Ned: You mean "the control element"?

Homer: Yes! Thank you. That's why I can't destroy my trashcans.

Homer: All right, raccoon. You've forced us to use "Plan B."

Bart: I am not putting on a dress and "making eyes" at the raccoon, Homer!

Homer: All right then, raccoon...you've forced me to use a plan...without my son!