Difference between revisions of "The Thingama-Bob from Outer Space/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 11:56, May 25, 2026

Warden: Well, Sideshow Bob, your time's up... hope you enjoyed your last meal.

Sideshow Bob: Well, warden, I suppose the corn dog-and-gruel risotto will suffice for my final meal on Earth. Explain to me again why I was chosen to go to this new penal colony on the moon?

Warden: You mean besides the murder plots, kidnapping, and other criminal mastermind behavior?

Sideshow Bob: Oh. Right. That.

General: You menaces to society are the lucky guinea pigs being sent to our brand-spanking-new lunar penal colony! The colony is so top secret that no one outside the highest levels of government knows of its existence or that you are even being sent there! If all goes well, your reward for helping us work out the kinks is that your remaining sentences will be cut in half! That said, if anything goes wrong, we have stories concocted to tell your loved ones about how you met an untimely fate here on Earth!

Gil Gunderson: Umm...sir, I think there's been a mistake. I'm only supposed to be locked up until my trial on Monday...

General: Maybe you should've thought of that before leaving your dog's excrement on the sidewalk, dirtbag!

Homer: Bart, it's here! The greatest toy ever invented is finally here!

Bart: Fire 'er up, home boy!

Marge: Homer, no! You are not flying a helicopter inside this house!

Homer: But Marge, the "Blackhawk Guillotine with Adamantium Blades" is indoor-safe! The commercials on TV said so!

Marge: If you two want to kill yourselves playing with that thing, fine, but you do it outside, or I'll send it back!

Bart: But, Mom, it's got a French name... it couldn't possibly be a threat!

Marge: Outside! Now!

Captain: Uh...this is your captain again. In just a few seconds, your seats will be ejecting into the air... ...In theory, a parachute should pop out from your seat backs, allowing you to float safely to the ground. But we didn't have time to test those out, so...fingers crossed! Again, thank you for flying El Seven Spacelines.

Sideshow Bob: I'm... an extra-terrestrial?!

Cletus Spuckler: If you ain't, then my online degree in alien autopsy ain't worth the T.P. it's printed on!

Sideshow Bob: [thinking] Can't remember where I came from or how I got here... and I only see one face when I close my eyes... And that face fills me with an inexplicable thirst for vengeance! I must find this boy and make him pay... but for what, I have no idea!

Carl Carlson: Fool me once with that Michael Bay lie, shame on you... ...But fool me forty times...

Lenny Leonard: "Shame on me," right?

Carl: No, shame on Hollywood! Why do they keep letting that jerk pollute our movie theaters?!

Cletus: If this "Bart Simpson" is the reason you're here, then my boy Rest Stop can help. He's servin' his third tour of duty in the 4th grade!

Bart: You know, someone with your experience could be very useful to me... Rest Stop, how would you like to be my new best friend?

Rest Stop Spuckler: Boy, would I! But... don't you already have one?

Bart: Milhouse? He's a little too obsessive these days. Some competition will be good for him!

Marge: Milhouse! What are you doing in there?

Milhouse Van Houten: Uhh... d-definitely not rolling in Bart's clothes to put his scent all over my skin!

Kang Johnson: [Sniff!] I just love a happy ending, don't you...? [Sniff! Sniff!]

Kodos Johnson: You know when I'll consider it a "happy ending," Kang? When Earth delivers the slaves it promised us! Now give me the telescop-u-tron, the Jonas Brothers are playing live in Central Park tonight!