Difference between revisions of "Groundskeeper Bart/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 10:26, April 22, 2026

Principal Skinner: Bart Simpson! If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, the school sand-blaster is not a toy! Those kindergarteners won't be able to use the seesaw for months! In fact, they're lucky they can still sit down at all! This calls for some drastic detention, and I think I've come up with the perfect solution! For the next week, you'll be working after school... ...with Groundskeeper Willie!

Bart: Nooooooo!

Groundskeeper Willie: They told Willie he was mad to mix bleach with borax and tile cleaner t' get a good shine, but I showed 'em!

Bart: Is this pounding headache I have normal?

Willie: Aye. Soon you'll be glad it's there. It numbs the pain!

Willie: Be careful, laddie. Once I got me hair 'n beard stuck under one o' those and was trapped all weekend. Willie had t' chew 'is way oot!

Willie: Ach! Stop your bellyachin'! You're lucky your ma got you a mask! Willie never got one! An' let me tell you, school insurance don't reimburse one red cent for black lung!

Willie: You'll learn t' unclog all sorts of things, hangin' with Willie! But remember: th' job's nay done 'til Willie can see his bonnie face in th' rim!

Bart: Kill me, God. Kill me now!

Willie: Whew! I haven't seen that much purging since th' potluck surprise of '83! Ye'd best grab your hand trowel and knee-pads, boy. It's gonna be a long afternoon!

Bart: Mom, I promise to quit slacking off! I'll be good! I will! I will! Please don't let me ever become a janitor!

Willie: Ahh, I've set another lad on the right path! He'll become something other than a custodial engineer, that's for sure! Willie's still got job security.