Difference between revisions of "Senior Volun-Teacher Week/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 19:00, April 12, 2026

Grampa: Canada? It's not fit for livin'. It's where the Queen of England walks her dogs.

Lisa: [thinking] Oh, no!

Grampa: New York? It wasn't always so new. Teddy Roosevelt tacked on the "new" when he tried to sell the whole place back to the Indians.

Lisa: Miss Hoover! I love my Grampa, but he doesn't know what he's talking about.

Miss Hoover: Lisa, smart children like you will learn proper history in college. The rest will grow up to work at fast food restaurants or start internet companies, so it won't matter.

Principal Skinner: Our senior volun-teacher program has been a great boon to you students and the community at large. With so many seniors off the street, line-ups for lottery tickets are down 50%.

Lisa: But what about the curriculum!

Principal Skinner: Curriculum? Lisa, I'll let you in on a little secret. Our curriculum consists of two rules—one constitutional, the other practical: A) never mention God and B) never mention Lake Titticaca.

Principal Skinner: Ho, ho, ho. Lisa, when I hear that bell ring at three o'clock, and the school is still standing, and Bart isn't in prison—that's what I call a good day.