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| | {{Tapped Out Lumberjill Marge Icon|Sleep}} | | {{Tapped Out Lumberjill Marge Icon|Sleep}} |
| | {{TB|{{*}}snores{{*}}}} | | {{TB|{{*}}snores{{*}}}} |
| − | {{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}} | + | {{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|200}} and {{XP|20}}|colspan=2}} |
| | }} | | }} |
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| | {{Tapped Out Quests/Snow Place Like the Woods}} | | {{Tapped Out Quests/Snow Place Like the Woods}} |
Revision as of 18:14, January 9, 2026
| Splitting Hair
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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Splitting Hair is a questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Snow Place Like the Woods content update. It requires Lumberjill Marge to be obtained.
Dialogue
Pt. 1
| After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark
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Homer?
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AAH! A ghost!
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It's Marge. The power is out again.
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Where are you?
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Right in front of you.
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Why do you feel funny? Kind of scratchier than normal…
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*annoyed grumble* Just hold Maggie while I cut some wood for a fire.
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Come here, Maggie. It's going to be okay.
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*annoyed upside-down suck suck*
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Task: "Make Lumberjill Marge Start a Fire". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Homer Try to See in the Dark". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
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There we go. A fire in the hearth. All toasty warm… Okay, Homer, I can take Maggie again.
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Hey, I was going to change her diaper, but I didn't want to deny you mommy time with her.
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*suck suck*
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Marge, why are you wearing flannel?
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With all these snowstorms and blackouts, I figure we should have some firewood handy for warmth and light.
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But flannel? I mean…do we need to talk about how you're experimenting with a change of lifestyle?
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Homer, our marriage is all the experimenting I can handle. Honestly, even Dr. Frankenstein wouldn't try it.
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
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Pt. 2
| After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark
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Homer, how much longer will these power blackouts keep on going?
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Why are you asking me?
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You work at the plant.
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In that case, forever. I mean, I'm a horrible employee. Me and nuclear power…?
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*explosion sound*
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We need to think of something, then.
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Having a beer always helps me think.
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How does that help?
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When I have one I can think of things other than "I want a beer". You want one?
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No thanks. I can think without a beer.
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Show off.
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Task: "Make Lumberjill Marge Vent Her Frustrations". The job takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Homer Sneak Out of the Room". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
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*grumble grumble* Blackouts… *grumble grumble* Winter… *grumble grumble* Power plant…
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I just went to the Kwik-E-Mart to get more Duff, because the ones in our fridge were all missing.
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That happens a lot.
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More evidence of our ghost problem.
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Anyways, when I was there, I saw that Apu had bundles of firewood for sale. And people were buying them like crazy!
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Why do I have a feeling that you have a brilliant plan that involves me doing all the work?
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You have the same idea! Oh, Marge, we are two peas in a pod!
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…
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I think I'll have that beer now.
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If I had any. Ghosts, Marge.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 3
| After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark
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Okay, Homer. How much firewood do you think we'll need to start?
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Well, let's see. When I was at Apu's, I started taking orders…
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Of course you did…
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*looking at note pad* I got orders from Ned, Kirk, Dr. Hibbert… How many logs can you turn out in an hour?
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I don't know. Maybe ten.
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In a day?
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Eighty or ninety.
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We'll need a day in an hour.
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*annoyed grumble*
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Task: "Make Homer Count the Orders". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Lumberjill Marge Start Stretching". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
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…so we need something in the neighborhood of eighty bundles of lumber.
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Eighty? That neighborhood's too rich for me.
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Come on, Marge, you can do it. I believe in you.
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And while I'm doing it what will you be doing?
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I'll be right here, believing in you. Or in the hammock.
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Homer, do you know how long that's going to take me to cut all this wood?
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A lot longer if we keep talking. So come on, chop chop.
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Don't push me.
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Um, please…chop chop?
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Okay, stand back. I need to do some stretching first…
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Gotta be limber to lumber!
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Or to strangle you.
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…
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 4
| After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark
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Okay, Homer. Eighty bundles of firewood…have been split. By me.
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Good, because I told everyone that we'd guarantee delivery by nightfall. There's still some daylight for you to get all these out.
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What! You expect me to deliver these? Homer, this is too much.
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I know it's a lot, Marge, but I want you to be the face of our company. Honestly, what could my face sell? Maybe rash cream or fish intestines.
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*exhales*
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No, you're right. Okay, fine. I'll get these delivered.
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| Task: "Make Lumberjill Marge Deliver Firewood". The job takes 4 hours.
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Homer? I'm back.
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Welcome home! Ned just sent over a Bible to thank us for the firewood. It burned up real good. Heavenly toasty.
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Well, I'm done. Done. Done. Done.
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Okay, we'll talk tomorrow about the new orders I got. This blackout is a goldmine.
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*lights flicker on* Hey! The lights are back on!
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Hurray. Damn.
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Now turn them off. I'm going to sleep.
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*snores*
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| Quest reward: 200 and 20
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