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Difference between revisions of "Splitting Hair"

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Revision as of 18:14, January 9, 2026


Splitting Hair
Tapped Out Lumberjill Marge Sidebar.png
Tapped Out Quest Information
Level: 15
Update: Snow Place Like the Woods
Required characters: Lumberjill Marge, Homer
Internal name(s): SplittingHair
ID(s): 275034 - 275037


Splitting Hair is a questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Snow Place Like the Woods content update. It requires Lumberjill Marge to be obtained.

Dialogue

Pt. 1

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark
Lumberjill Marge - Dark Homer?
Homer - Dark AAH! A ghost!
Lumberjill Marge - Dark It's Marge. The power is out again.
Homer - Dark Where are you?
Lumberjill Marge - Dark Right in front of you.
Homer - Dark Why do you feel funny? Kind of scratchier than normal…
Lumberjill Marge - Dark *annoyed grumble* Just hold Maggie while I cut some wood for a fire.
Homer - Dark Come here, Maggie. It's going to be okay.
Maggie - Annoyed *annoyed upside-down suck suck*
Task: "Make Lumberjill Marge Start a Fire". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Homer Try to See in the Dark". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
Lumberjill Marge There we go. A fire in the hearth. All toasty warm… Okay, Homer, I can take Maggie again.
Homer - Relieved Hey, I was going to change her diaper, but I didn't want to deny you mommy time with her.
Maggie - Facepalm *suck suck*
Homer - Confused Marge, why are you wearing flannel?
Lumberjill Marge - Annoyed With all these snowstorms and blackouts, I figure we should have some firewood handy for warmth and light.
Homer - Confused But flannel? I mean…do we need to talk about how you're experimenting with a change of lifestyle?
Lumberjill Marge - Annoyed Homer, our marriage is all the experimenting I can handle. Honestly, even Dr. Frankenstein wouldn't try it.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 2

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark
Lumberjill Marge - Worried Homer, how much longer will these power blackouts keep on going?
Homer - Confused Why are you asking me?
Lumberjill Marge - Confused You work at the plant.
Homer - Glassed Eye In that case, forever. I mean, I'm a horrible employee. Me and nuclear power…?
Homer - Woo Hoo *explosion sound*
Lumberjill Marge - Annoyed We need to think of something, then.
Homer Having a beer always helps me think.
Lumberjill Marge - Annoyed How does that help?
Homer When I have one I can think of things other than "I want a beer". You want one?
Lumberjill Marge No thanks. I can think without a beer.
Homer - Annoyed Show off.
Task: "Make Lumberjill Marge Vent Her Frustrations". The job takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Homer Sneak Out of the Room". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
Lumberjill Marge - Annoyed *grumble grumble* Blackouts… *grumble grumble* Winter… *grumble grumble* Power plant…
Homer - Happy Yell I just went to the Kwik-E-Mart to get more Duff, because the ones in our fridge were all missing.
Lumberjill Marge That happens a lot.
Homer More evidence of our ghost problem.
Homer - Happy Anyways, when I was there, I saw that Apu had bundles of firewood for sale. And people were buying them like crazy!
Lumberjill Marge - Annoyed Why do I have a feeling that you have a brilliant plan that involves me doing all the work?
Homer - Inspired You have the same idea! Oh, Marge, we are two peas in a pod!
Lumberjill Marge - Eyes Closed
Lumberjill Marge - Resigned I think I'll have that beer now.
Homer - Serious If I had any. Ghosts, Marge.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 3

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark
Lumberjill Marge Okay, Homer. How much firewood do you think we'll need to start?
Homer - Thoughtful Well, let's see. When I was at Apu's, I started taking orders…
Lumberjill Marge - Resigned Of course you did…
Homer - Thoughtful *looking at note pad* I got orders from Ned, Kirk, Dr. Hibbert… How many logs can you turn out in an hour?
Lumberjill Marge I don't know. Maybe ten.
Homer - Thoughtful In a day?
Lumberjill Marge - Confused Eighty or ninety.
Homer We'll need a day in an hour.
Lumberjill Marge - Annoyed *annoyed grumble*
Task: "Make Homer Count the Orders". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Lumberjill Marge Start Stretching". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
Homer …so we need something in the neighborhood of eighty bundles of lumber.
Lumberjill Marge - Surprised Eighty? That neighborhood's too rich for me.
Homer Come on, Marge, you can do it. I believe in you.
Lumberjill Marge - Annoyed And while I'm doing it what will you be doing?
Homer I'll be right here, believing in you. Or in the hammock.
Lumberjill Marge - Annoyed Homer, do you know how long that's going to take me to cut all this wood?
Homer A lot longer if we keep talking. So come on, chop chop.
Lumberjill Marge - Angry Don't push me.
Homer - Scared Um, please…chop chop?
Lumberjill Marge - Annoyed Okay, stand back. I need to do some stretching first…
Homer - Happy Gotta be limber to lumber!
Lumberjill Marge - Annoyed Or to strangle you.
Homer - Cautious
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 4

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark
Lumberjill Marge - Exhausted Okay, Homer. Eighty bundles of firewood…have been split. By me.
Homer Good, because I told everyone that we'd guarantee delivery by nightfall. There's still some daylight for you to get all these out.
Lumberjill Marge - Angry What! You expect me to deliver these? Homer, this is too much.
Homer - Confused I know it's a lot, Marge, but I want you to be the face of our company. Honestly, what could my face sell? Maybe rash cream or fish intestines.
Lumberjill Marge - Eyes Closed *exhales*
Lumberjill Marge - Resigned No, you're right. Okay, fine. I'll get these delivered.
Task: "Make Lumberjill Marge Deliver Firewood". The job takes 4 hours.
Lumberjill Marge - Exhausted Homer? I'm back.
Homer Welcome home! Ned just sent over a Bible to thank us for the firewood. It burned up real good. Heavenly toasty.
Lumberjill Marge - Exhausted Well, I'm done. Done. Done. Done.
Homer Okay, we'll talk tomorrow about the new orders I got. This blackout is a goldmine.
Lumberjill Marge - Happy *lights flicker on* Hey! The lights are back on!
Homer - Sad Hurray. Damn.
Lumberjill Marge - Happy Now turn them off. I'm going to sleep.
Lumberjill Marge - Sleep *snores*
Quest reward: Cash200 and XP20