Difference between revisions of "Country on the Inside"

Revision as of 10:16, June 13, 2024

Country on the Inside is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Level 48 content update. It requires the Beer -N- Brawl to be obtained.

Dialogue

Pt. 1

After tapping on Lurleen's exclamation mark There was a time when singing at the Beer -N- Brawl was the highlight of my day. Now I'm just hoping one of those beer bottles being thrown at my head will knock me out of this funk. Less talkin', more singin'! I'm too depressed to sing the blues. If only there was an even sadder way to express myself. How about poetry? Those guys seem pretty depressed. Probably from their lack of job prospects and general public disrespect. Nah, Jewel has said all there needs to be said in verse. Hey, what about grunge music? It makes you frown just by saying it. Grunge. Grunge. Makes me feel like an unclean toilet. I guess the nineties are having a comeback. Plus you can keep wearing all your plaid shirts from your country days. Then it's settled. I'm starting a grunge band. But first I need to find some band mates. How you fixin' to do that? Simple – Craigslist. I'll post an ad for a barbecue pit, buy it, throw a barbecue, and hope some potential band mates show up. It's fool proof! Task: "Place Barbecue Pit". Task: "Make Lurleen Barbecue Some Roadkill". The job takes place at the Barbecue Pit and takes 24 hours. Boy, Lurleen. This is some of the best grilled mystery meat I've ever had. And I buy my meat from the Kwik-E-Mart. Our meat is 100% accounted for, 90% of the time. Homer, it's so good to see you. With this new band starting up, it would be great to have a manager again. I DO have experience in both the fields of band management and grunge music. Wow! You are as qualified as you are handsome. Are you sure Marge will be OK with it? Of COURSE she'll be OK with it. Long hours on the road, tearful soulful music driving us together… what could she possibly complain about? Grrrrr… I'd love to play percussion in your ensemble, as long as it doesn't interfere with my job. I work 9am to 9am. Room for one more? I've always had a wee soft spot for grunge. Willie ain't an open book. Sounds like you've got yourself a band! I'm so happy! But you're also out of potato salad, so I don't really know how to feel. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 2

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark Grunge band? Check. Ace manager? Check. Sexy lead singer? Check. Franz Kafka's nationality? Czech! So what do we do now, Homer? First order of business – free beer at the Beer -N- Brawl! And the band will play? Oh, right. You should probably play a show as well. I'm sure we can squeeze you in somewhere. Task: "Make Lurleen Perform a Gig". The job takes place at the Beer -N- Brawl and takes 12 hours. Task: "Make Springfielders Drink at Beer -N- Brawl". The jobs take place at the Beer -N- Brawl and take 6 hours. Great news – I've brought your band into the twenty first century! With what? A social media campaign? ViewTube videos? Viral marketing? Even better. I strapped a megaphone to the roof of my car. Listen up! Everyone get to the Beer -N- Brawl for free beer! Uh, and to listen to my new grunge band: Forever Alone! Please don't interrupt me when I'm megaphoning. Free beer! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 3

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark Homer, I don't want to seem like the jealous wife – But please stop spending time with women other than me. Is this about Princess Kashmir and her proposed blimp trip? What? No! Well then forget I said that. Also, on an unrelated note, do you have any spare helium or hydrogen? It's about Lurleen – I don't want you hanging around with that trollop. Marge, there's nothing to be afraid of. It's just me, music, women, money, endless booze, and a live-like-there's-no-tomorrow attitude. If you won't listen to reason, I'll have to confront Lurleen directly…by writing an anonymous article that attacks her character. Mention that there's free beer at the Beer -N- Brawl. Task: "Make Marge Write a Smear Article". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 24 hours. This article in Smear magazine says my songs were stolen from Sadgasm! Hey, that's my old band! I didn't know anyone still remembered us. No one did on the VH1 special “Try Not To Remember The 1990's”. This is Kent Brockman ambushing you live from a bush. How does it feel to be a fraud? We're not frauds! We didn't steal ANY songs! I dunno, that's not what this article quotes me as saying… Please don't fight without the cameras rolling, otherwise we're just going to make you do it again. We're not fighting! I didn't do anything wrong. That's what they all say. But then we edit, edit, edit and bingo: guilty confession! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 4

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark That article was supposed to make Lurleen LESS popular. Now the press is all over her and there's talk of a Sadgasm reunion tour. I need a stiff drink! One cranberry juice please. Homer can't wear flannel nowadays! Whenever he lies down, ants attack him thinking he's a picnic blanket. Could also be the bits of sandwich he's always got stuck to his cheeks. God I miss Homer. Without those sandwich bits, the rats have started to go after the smaller customers. I lost three kids with fake IDs that way. Well, if the printed page didn't destroy her career, what will? You're thinking too small! We need to make a slanderous documentary that exposes all of Lurleen Lumpkins's dark secrets. I've been going through her trash so I know a few of them already. But we just came up with this idea now! How did you know to start going through her trash? Look, do you want Lurleen's dark secrets or not? I want them. I want them strewn all over town like dirty laundry. Which reminds me I've got a flannel shirt covered in ants I have to wash. Task: "Make Moe do a Slanderous Documentary on Lurleen". The job takes place at Channel 6 and takes 1 day 12 hours. Task: "Make Marge Do a Load of Laundry". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 1 day 12 hours. Wow. I had no idea you had such a dark and twisted past, Lurleen! I do not! That movie was full of lies and slander! It's like Hollywood doesn't have any respect for the truth! You take that back about Hollywood. My cousin was the pig from Babe. Homer, that bit about my previous managers all dying of mysterious causes was completely false. I just marry them and then they leave me. By way of coffin. You have to believe me. I don't know. That movie might not have had facts, or accurate sources, or evidence, but it did have a CG robot! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 5

After tapping on Lurleen's exclamation mark This grunge business isn't getting me out of my depression like I thought it would. Apparently being sad all the time doesn't make you happy. I miss the country lifestyle – the cowboy boots hiding switch blades, the big trucks, the starry skies, the women with large hairdos hiding switchblades. But you're a grunge natural! It's like every crowd's energy is lower than the last. I can't live like this. I need open air, belt buckles in the shape of states, and jello being counted as a salad. I'm going back to singing country songs all alone. Does that mean no more free beer at the Beer -N- Brawl…? I quit! Task: "Make Lurleen Play Country Guitar". The job takes 12 hours. I'm sorry Lurleen. I realize now that I was just being a jealous housewife. I spread all those lies so that you'd fall from grace. Oh, your jealousy was very much justified. I made several passes at Homer, but he didn't understand a single one of them. She kept wanting me to go back to her hotel room, but why eat out of a mini-fridge when you can eat out of a normal fridge? I guess I lost a man I never had, and a career I never fully understood. I also lost thirty-five cents the other day. Lurleen, that's the makings of a great country song! About the thirty-five cents? I know. Well, is there anything we can do to help? Buy my CD? Ummm… no. Quest reward: 200 and 20