Difference between revisions of "Colonel Homer/Quotes"

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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Dog of Death|Black Widower}}
 
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Dog of Death|Black Widower}}
  
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:'''[[Homer]]:''' Hey! Hey, Lurleen? I gotta say somethin' to ya.
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{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Hey! Hey, Lurleen? I gotta say somethin' to ya.
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:'''[[Lurleen]]:''' I'm listenin'.
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{{qf|[[Lurleen]]}} I'm listenin'.
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:'''Homer:''' Your song touched me in a way I've never felt before. And which way to the can?
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{{qf|Homer}} Your song touched me in a way I've never felt before. And which way to the can?
 
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:''(the family listens to Lurleen's song on the radio)''
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:''[the family listens to Lurleen's song on the radio]''
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:'''Homer:''' Marge? Whaddya think?
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{{qf|Homer}} Marge? Whaddya think?
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:'''[[Marge]]:''' Well, it's nice... but who is this woman?
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{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Well, it's nice... but who is this woman?
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:'''Homer:''' Well, right now she's an out-of-work cocktail waitress, but she's going to be a country music superstar, like, uh... that... jerk in the cowboy hat... and that dead lady.
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{{qf|Homer}} Well, right now she's an out-of-work cocktail waitress, but she's going to be a country music superstar, like, uh... that... jerk in the cowboy hat... and that dead lady.
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:'''Marge:''' I don't like you hanging around some cocktail waitress!
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{{qf|Marge}} I don't like you hanging around some cocktail waitress!
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:'''Homer:''' Marge, you make it sound so seamy! All I did was spend the afternoon in her trailer watching her try on some outfits.
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{{qf|Homer}} Marge, you make it sound so seamy! All I did was spend the afternoon in her trailer watching her try on some outfits.
 
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:'''Homer:''' Don't thank me Lurleen, you should be thanking your brain!
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{{qf|Homer}} Don't thank me Lurleen, you should be thanking your brain!
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:'''Lurleen:''' Oh, Homer, no man has ever been this nice to me without... you know, wantin' somethin' in return.
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{{qf|Lurleen}} Oh, Homer, no man has ever been this nice to me without... you know, wantin' somethin' in return.
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:'''Homer:''' Well, I was gonna ask you for a glass of water, but now I feel kinda guilty about it.
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{{qf|Homer}} Well, I was gonna ask you for a glass of water, but now I feel kinda guilty about it.
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:'''Lurleen:''' ''(laughing)'' Homer, you're just a big sack of sugar!
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{{qf|Lurleen}} ''[laughing]'' Homer, you're just a big sack of sugar!
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:'''Homer:''' Thanks! You did say sugar, right?
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{{qf|Homer}} Thanks! You did say sugar, right?
 
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:'''Homer:''' Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie, and one to listen.
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{{qf|Homer}} Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie, and one to listen.
 
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:'''Homer:''' Guess what, Lurleen? I got you a gig on TV!
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{{qf|Homer}} Guess what, Lurleen? I got you a gig on TV!
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:'''Lurleen:''' Oh, Homer! You're as smart as you are handsome!
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{{qf|Lurleen}} Oh, Homer! You're as smart as you are handsome!
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:'''Homer:''' ''(angry)'' Hey! ''(relaxes)'' Oh, you meant that as a compliment.
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{{qf|Homer}} ''[angry]'' Hey! ''[relaxes]'' Oh, you meant that as a compliment.
 
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:'''Marge:''' Just so you know, while you and Lurleen were put judging that greased pig contest, [[Maggie]] cut her first tooth.
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{{qf|Marge}} Just so you know, while you and Lurleen were put judging that greased pig contest, [[Maggie]] cut her first tooth.
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:'''Homer:''' That's great, honey. Say, have you seen my rattlesnake headband?
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{{qf|Homer}} That's great, honey. Say, have you seen my rattlesnake headband?
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:'''Marge:''' You're not even listening to me.
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{{qf|Marge}} You're not even listening to me.
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:'''Homer:''' Sure they will!
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{{qf|Homer}} Sure they will!
 
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:'''[[Bart]]:''' As much as I hate that man right now, you gotta love that suit.
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{{qf|[[Bart]]}} As much as I hate that man right now, you gotta love that suit.
 
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:'''Homer:''' They don't call me Colonel Homer because I'm some dumb-ass Army guy.
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{{qf|Homer}} They don't call me Colonel Homer because I'm some dumb-ass Army guy.
  
 
{{Season 3|Q}}
 
{{Season 3|Q}}

Latest revision as of 02:02, November 12, 2018


Season 3 Episode Quotes
← 054 "Dog of Death"
055
"Colonel Homer"
"Black Widower" 056 →


Homer: Hey! Hey, Lurleen? I gotta say somethin' to ya.
Lurleen: I'm listenin'.
Homer: Your song touched me in a way I've never felt before. And which way to the can?

[the family listens to Lurleen's song on the radio]
Homer: Marge? Whaddya think?
Marge: Well, it's nice... but who is this woman?
Homer: Well, right now she's an out-of-work cocktail waitress, but she's going to be a country music superstar, like, uh... that... jerk in the cowboy hat... and that dead lady.
Marge: I don't like you hanging around some cocktail waitress!
Homer: Marge, you make it sound so seamy! All I did was spend the afternoon in her trailer watching her try on some outfits.

Homer: Don't thank me Lurleen, you should be thanking your brain!
Lurleen: Oh, Homer, no man has ever been this nice to me without... you know, wantin' somethin' in return.
Homer: Well, I was gonna ask you for a glass of water, but now I feel kinda guilty about it.
Lurleen: [laughing] Homer, you're just a big sack of sugar!
Homer: Thanks! You did say sugar, right?

Homer: Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie, and one to listen.

Homer: Guess what, Lurleen? I got you a gig on TV!
Lurleen: Oh, Homer! You're as smart as you are handsome!
Homer: [angry] Hey! [relaxes] Oh, you meant that as a compliment.

Marge: Just so you know, while you and Lurleen were put judging that greased pig contest, Maggie cut her first tooth.
Homer: That's great, honey. Say, have you seen my rattlesnake headband?
Marge: You're not even listening to me.
Homer: Sure they will!

Bart: As much as I hate that man right now, you gotta love that suit.

Homer: They don't call me Colonel Homer because I'm some dumb-ass Army guy.
Season 3 Quotes
Stark Raving Dad • Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington • When Flanders Failed • Bart the Murderer • Homer Defined • Like Father, Like Clown • Treehouse of Horror II • Lisa's Pony • Saturdays of Thunder • Flaming Moe's • Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk • I Married Marge • Radio Bart • Lisa the Greek • Homer Alone • Bart the Lover • Homer at the Bat • Separate Vocations • Dog of Death • Colonel Homer • Black Widower • The Otto Show • Bart's Friend Falls in Love • Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?