Difference between revisions of "How I Wet Your Mother/Quotes"

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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart‎|Them, Robot}}
 
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart‎|Them, Robot}}
  
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:'''[[Mr. Burns]]:''' Now, Simpson, how is it that you alone managed to keep your moral compass pointed to true north?
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{{qf|[[Mr. Burns]]}} Now, Simpson, how is it that you alone managed to keep your moral compass pointed to true north?
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:'''[[Homer]]:''' Well, sir, before I do anything, I stop and ask myself: "What would Jesus and Mr. Burns do?"
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{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Well, sir, before I do anything, I stop and ask myself: "What would Jesus and Mr. Burns do?"
 
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:'''[[Homer]]:''' Ah, nothing better than a lazy Saturday morning lying in a warm, moist bed, because weekends are... Moist?! I wet the bed! The one embarrassing thing I've never done!
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{{qf|Homer}} Ah, nothing better than a lazy Saturday morning lying in a warm, moist bed, because weekends are... Moist?! I wet the bed! The one embarrassing thing I've never done!
 
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:'''[[Homer]]:''' Oh Death, you're a life saver.
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{{qf|Homer}} Oh Death, you're a life saver.
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:'''[[Bart]]:''' Thank you, Death. May I ask, what's taken so long with Larry King?
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{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Thank you, Death. May I ask, what's taken so long with Larry King?
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:'''{{ch|Death}}:''' I am not...
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{{qf|{{ch|Death}}}} I am not...
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:'''[[Mona]]:''' Death.
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{{qf|[[Mona Simpson]]}} Death.
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:'''[[Homer]]:''' Mom?!
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{{qf|Homer}} Mom?!
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:'''[[Bart]] & [[Lisa]]:''' Grandma
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{{qf|[[Bart]] & [[Lisa]]}} Grandma
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:'''[[Marge]]:''' So your alive?
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{{qf|Marge}} So you're alive?
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:'''[[Mona]]:''' No. But I live on in Homer's dreams.
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{{qf|Mona}} No. But I live on in Homer's dreams.
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:'''[[Homer]]:''' Just like my hair.
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{{qf|Homer}} Just like my hair.
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:'''[[Marge]]:''' It's Jennifer Aniston's hair on Friends.
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{{qf|Marge}} It's Jennifer Aniston's hair on Friends.
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:'''[[Homer]]:''' Exactly like Chandler, always criticizing.
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{{qf|Homer}} Exactly like Chandler, always criticizing.
 
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:'''[[Lisa]]:''' Listen, everyone. We should fall asleep in this dream. One minute at this level equals two hours one dream level below.
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{{qf|Lisa}} Listen, everyone. We should fall asleep in this dream. One minute at this level equals two hours one dream level below.
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:'''[[Bart]]:''' Wait, dreams have rules?
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{{qf|Bart}} Wait, dreams have rules?
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:'''[[Lisa]]:''' Everything has rules, Bart.
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{{qf|Lisa}} Everything has rules, Bart.
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:'''[[Bart]]:''' Not me, when I hit the dance floor.
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{{qf|Bart}} Not me, when I hit the dance floor.
 
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:'''[[Lisa]]:''' We're actually entering Dad's dreams?
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{{qf|Lisa}} We're actually entering Dad's dreams?
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:'''[[Professor Frink]]:''' Yes, yes. You see, it's the only way you can uncover the psychological trauma that is causing your father's secret shame.
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{{qf|[[Professor Frink]]}} Yes, yes. You see, it's the only way you can uncover the psychological trauma that is causing your father's secret shame.
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:'''[[Marge]]:''' Why does Maggie have to go?
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{{qf|Marge}} Why does Maggie have to go?
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:'''[[Professor Frink]]:''' hat am I, a babysitter?!
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{{qf|Professor Frink}} What am I, a babysitter?!
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{{Season 23|Q}}
 
{{Season 23|Q}}

Revision as of 14:30, May 9, 2021


Season 23 Episode Quotes
← 501 "Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart‎"
502
"How I Wet Your Mother"
"Them, Robot" 503 →


Mr. Burns: Now, Simpson, how is it that you alone managed to keep your moral compass pointed to true north?
Homer: Well, sir, before I do anything, I stop and ask myself: "What would Jesus and Mr. Burns do?"

Homer: Ah, nothing better than a lazy Saturday morning lying in a warm, moist bed, because weekends are... Moist?! I wet the bed! The one embarrassing thing I've never done!

Homer: Oh Death, you're a life saver.
Bart: Thank you, Death. May I ask, what's taken so long with Larry King?
Death: I am not...
Mona Simpson: Death.
Homer: Mom?!
Bart & Lisa: Grandma
Marge: So you're alive?
Mona: No. But I live on in Homer's dreams.
Homer: Just like my hair.
Marge: It's Jennifer Aniston's hair on Friends.
Homer: Exactly like Chandler, always criticizing.

Lisa: Listen, everyone. We should fall asleep in this dream. One minute at this level equals two hours one dream level below.
Bart: Wait, dreams have rules?
Lisa: Everything has rules, Bart.
Bart: Not me, when I hit the dance floor.

Lisa: We're actually entering Dad's dreams?
Professor Frink: Yes, yes. You see, it's the only way you can uncover the psychological trauma that is causing your father's secret shame.
Marge: Why does Maggie have to go?
Professor Frink: What am I, a babysitter?!
Season 23 Quotes
The Falcon and the D'ohman • Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts • Treehouse of Horror XXII • Replaceable You • The Food Wife • The Book Job • The Man in the Blue Flannel Pants • The Ten-Per-Cent Solution • Holidays of Future Passed • Politically Inept, with Homer Simpson • The D'oh-cial Network • Moe Goes from Rags to Riches • The Daughter Also Rises • At Long Last Leave • Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart‎ • How I Wet Your Mother • Them, Robot • Beware My Cheating Bart‎ • A Totally Fun Thing Bart Will Never Do Again • The Spy Who Learned Me • Ned 'n Edna's Blend Agenda • Lisa Goes Gaga