Difference between revisions of "The Ultranet of Things"

{{TB|That’s amazing! How’d you do it?}}

{{TB|It was pretty simple: hours of coding, an old blueprint algorithm, neural mapping…}}

{{TB|Jeez, whatever happened to cardboard dioramas…}}

{{TB|Don’t worry, I recreated a few of your crappy old dioramas too!}}

{{TB|I’m gonna go back and get a burger at Krusty’s from before they were all replaced with Impassable Burgers -- fake meat that stays in you forever.}}

{{THT|{{Task/Optional|Make Zia Share Her Ultranet Project With Family|6 hours|the [[Ultranet]]|char=[[Zia Simpson]]}}<br>If [[President Lisa]] is not owned: {{Task/Job|Make Lisa Be Impressed With Zia’s Project|6 hours|the [[Ultranet]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make President Lisa Be Impressed With Zia’s Project|6 hours|the [[Ultranet]]|char=[[President Lisa]]}}<br>If [[Retired Homer]] is not owned: {{Task/Job|Make Homer Visit Virtual Krusty’s|6 hours|the [[Ultranet]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Retired Homer Visit Virtual Krusty’s|6 hours|the [[Ultranet]]|char=[[Retired Homer]]}}|colspan=2}}

{{TB|Wow, I’ve never seen someone get fatter from eating holograms!}}

{{TB|This is exciting! I’m going to visit my old book club!}}

{{TB|Oh, how wonderful. It’s Marge. Bring us any of your under-layered taco dip?}}

{{TB|…and don’t get me started on that fat oaf of a husband of hers!}}

{{TB|I should’ve known it was going to go like this when I saw the book you were reading was “Jane Eyre Your Grievances”.}}

{{TB|Zia, I think there’s something wrong with your Ultranet Springfield! Everyone in it is very mean.}}

{{TB|It's probably because of the neural scans. You’re hearing what people really thought of you back in the day.}}

{{TB|…took years off my life! Sandbagged my career! Blew any chance I had for love…}}

{{TB|This doesn’t bother you?}}

{{TB|Alright Virtual Flanders, I know you’ve been waiting years for this moment. Let me have it -- tell me what you really think about me!}}

{{TB|And don’t hold back, you holier-than-thou, annoying, goody-two-shoes--}}

{{TB|Uh, wasn’t I supposed to be the one unburdening myself?}}

{{TB|Oh, right. Sorry. Go ahead… stupid Virtual Flanders…}}

{{TB|Golly, Homer. I guess the truth is I think that deep down you’re really a swell guy!}}

{{TB|Sure, I wish you’d been a little nicer, a little more sober, and that you wouldn’t have stolen so many of my belongings…}}

{{TB|{{*}}ZZZZZT!{{*}} Tears…shorting…me…out! Are you…there, Maude? It’s…me…Ned! {{*}}ZZZZT!{{*}}}}

{{TB|Zia, maybe you could fine-tune your project a little to make its virtual reality a little less….real.}}

{{TB|But Mom, you said the Ultranet should be mankind’s greatest tool in the search for truth and understanding!}}

{{TB|I don’t remember saying that…}}

{{TB|Oh yeah, that was the virtual version of you. I guess I spend a lot more time with her because she’s less demanding…}}

{{TB|I’m not demanding! Now change the damn settings!}}

{{TB|You’re all a bunch of no-good morons!}}

{{TB|Screw you, Quimby! I’ll run you down with my bus!}}

{{TB|We made them too nice -- the A.I. is rejecting it. Being jerks is just too deeply ingrained in Springfielders’ DNA!}}