Difference between revisions of "Kamp Krusty/Quotes"
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| − | + | '''Bart''': I dreamt it was the last day of school! | |
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | :'''Homer''': | + | '''Homer''': Well it is! |
| + | |||
| + | '''Bart''': How do I know this isn't some beautiful dream, too? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': [whacks him on the head with a newspaper] | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Bart''': Ow! You know, a pinch is more traditional. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Marge''': Homer, you do remember your promise to the children? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': Sure do. When you're 18, you're out the door! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Homer''': Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Miss Hoover''': Here are your final report cards. I have nothing left to say to any of you, so if nobody minds, let's just quietly run out the clock. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Bart''': Mrs. Krabappel, if I don't get at least a "C" average, I can't go to Kamp Krusty! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Mrs. Krabappel''': Have a "D"-lightful summer. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Teacher''' [when the bells ring]: Wait a minute! You didn't learn how World War II ended! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Class''': [waits for the answer] | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Teacher'''''': '''We won! | ||
| + | |||
| + | |||
| + | '''Class''': Yay! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Bart''': Well Dad, here's my report card. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': "A+"!? You don't think much of me do you, boy? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Bart''': No, sir. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': You know a "D" turns into a "B" so easily. You just got greedy. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Bart''': So I won't get to go to camp? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer: '''Now Bart, we made this deal because I thought it would help you get good grades. And you didn't. But why should you pay for my mistake? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Bart''': You mean I can go? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': Yeah. I didn't want you hangin' around all summer anyway. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Bart''': Hey, hands off my pickle! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': I don't see your name on it, boy! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Bart''': No, but--(licks it) | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': Oh yeah? (dunks in his milk) Checkmate! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Bart''': Always thinking two moves ahead. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Bart''': Oh Dad! You're the best father a boy could ever have. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': Thanks son. Now you've got little hands.. could you reach under the mower and pull out that skate? | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Marge''': It's our last family dinner for six weeks. But I promised myself I wouldn't cry. [the others continue to eat] [crying] Oh, I'm going to miss this. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Marge''': Lisa, watch out for poison ivy. Remember, leaves of three, let it be. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': Leaves of four, eat some more! (Laughs) | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Bart''': Don't look in my closet. In fact, stay out of my room altogether. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Lisa''': If the pets die, don't replace them, I'll know! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Mr. Black''': I'll take any questions you might have... you? And then um.... one more. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Milhouse''': Can we call you Uncle Blackie? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Mr. Black''': No.. last question... | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | [at the campfire] | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Bart''': Don't we get to roast marshmallows? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Dolph''': Shut up and eat your pine cone. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | [at the canoe] | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Lisa''': Uh, are your sure that's safe? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Kearney''': Well it ain't gettin' any safer. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | [at dinnertime] | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Lisa''': You're serving us gruel? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Dolph''': Not quite. This is Krusty Brand Imitation Gruel. Nine out of ten orphans can't tell the difference. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Lisa''': I feel like I'm gonna die, Bart. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Bart''': We're all gonna die, Lis. | ||
| + | |||
| + | |||
| + | '''Lisa''': I meant soon. | ||
| + | |||
| + | |||
| + | '''Bart''': So did I. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Marge''' [about Lisa's frantic letter home]: She complains now, but when we go to pick her up, she won't want to leave. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Mr. Black''': Well kids, I promised you a little treat in lieu of dinner, and here it is. The man who took an abandoned mule tannery, and turned it into a summer wonderland: Mr. Krusty the Klown! | ||
| + | |||
| + | (Instead of the real Krusty, it's a disheveled Barney Gumble in a crude disguise) | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Mr. Black''': Now I must tell you kids Krusty has laryngitis and a bad back so he won't be saying anything or doing anything. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Milhouse''': Krusty looks fat! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Lisa''': He's really having trouble keeping his balance! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Ralph''': He's still funny, but not ha-ha funny! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Bart''': (angry) That's not Krusty the Klown!! | ||
| + | |||
| + | (The other kids gasp) | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Mr. Black''': Well, what do you think? I slapped a clown suit on some wino? (laughs nervously) | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Barney''': Yeah Bart, I am so Crunchy the Clown! (belches) | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Bart''': All right, that's it! I've been scorched by Krusty before. I got a rapid heartbeat from his Krusty brand vitamins, my Krusty Kalculator didn't have a 7 or an 8, and Krusty's autobiography was self-serving with many glaring omissions. But this time, he's gone too far! WE WANT KRUSTY! (the other kids join in the chant) WE WANT KRUSTY! WE WANT KRUSTY! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Barney''': Yeah! We want Crunchy! We want Crunchy! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Bart''': My chunky brothers! Gorge yourselves at the trough of freedom! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Kent Brockman''' [about the chaos at Kamp Krusty]: Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been to Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan, and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put together. A group of school-aged Spartacuses have taken the camp by force. Three counsellors are missing, and presumed scared. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Homer '''[watching the report about Kamp Krusty on the news]: Don't be the boy, don't be the boy... | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Bart''': We want the whole world to know that this was a really crappy camp. [covers microphone with his hand] Can I say "crappy" on TV? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Kent''': Yes, on this network you can. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Krusty''': I'm no fake! I'm the real Krusty! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Lisa''': Oh yeah!? Who played your daughter in the short-lived sitcom, "President Clown"? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Krusty''': I don't know her name, but she held up a liquor store last year. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Bart''': Krusty! This camp was a nightmare! They fed us gruel, they forced us to make wallets for export, and one of the campers was eaten by a bear! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Krusty''': Oh my God!! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Bart''': Well, actually, the bear just ate his hat. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Krusty''': Was it a nice hat? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Bart''': Oh yeah. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Krusty''': Oh My God!! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Krusty''': I'm taking you kids to the happiest place on Earth: Tijuana! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Homer''': Marge, am I crazy or is my back getting hairier? | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | '''Lisa''': (writing home) Dear Mom and Dad, I no longer fear hell, because I've been to Kamp Krusty. | |
| − | |||
| − | |||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | '''Otto''': All right! Three whole months of Spaghetti-O's and daytime TV! | |
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
---- | ---- | ||
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{{Season 4 Q}} | {{Season 4 Q}} | ||
[[Category:Quotes]] | [[Category:Quotes]] | ||
Revision as of 21:46, September 13, 2010
Bart: I dreamt it was the last day of school!
Homer: Well it is!
Bart: How do I know this isn't some beautiful dream, too?
Homer: [whacks him on the head with a newspaper]
Bart: Ow! You know, a pinch is more traditional.
Marge: Homer, you do remember your promise to the children?
Homer: Sure do. When you're 18, you're out the door!
Homer: Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
Miss Hoover: Here are your final report cards. I have nothing left to say to any of you, so if nobody minds, let's just quietly run out the clock.
Bart: Mrs. Krabappel, if I don't get at least a "C" average, I can't go to Kamp Krusty!
Mrs. Krabappel: Have a "D"-lightful summer.
Teacher [when the bells ring]: Wait a minute! You didn't learn how World War II ended!
Class: [waits for the answer]
'Teacher': We won!
Class: Yay! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
Bart: Well Dad, here's my report card. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
Homer: "A+"!? You don't think much of me do you, boy?
Bart: No, sir.
Homer: You know a "D" turns into a "B" so easily. You just got greedy.
Bart: So I won't get to go to camp?
Homer: Now Bart, we made this deal because I thought it would help you get good grades. And you didn't. But why should you pay for my mistake?
Bart: You mean I can go?
Homer: Yeah. I didn't want you hangin' around all summer anyway.
Bart: Hey, hands off my pickle!
Homer: I don't see your name on it, boy!
Bart: No, but--(licks it)
Homer: Oh yeah? (dunks in his milk) Checkmate!
Bart: Always thinking two moves ahead.
Bart: Oh Dad! You're the best father a boy could ever have.
Homer: Thanks son. Now you've got little hands.. could you reach under the mower and pull out that skate?
Marge: It's our last family dinner for six weeks. But I promised myself I wouldn't cry. [the others continue to eat] [crying] Oh, I'm going to miss this.
Marge: Lisa, watch out for poison ivy. Remember, leaves of three, let it be.
Homer: Leaves of four, eat some more! (Laughs)
Bart: Don't look in my closet. In fact, stay out of my room altogether.
Lisa: If the pets die, don't replace them, I'll know!
Mr. Black: I'll take any questions you might have... you? And then um.... one more.
Milhouse: Can we call you Uncle Blackie?
Mr. Black: No.. last question...
[at the campfire]
Bart: Don't we get to roast marshmallows?
Dolph: Shut up and eat your pine cone.
[at the canoe]
Lisa: Uh, are your sure that's safe?
Kearney: Well it ain't gettin' any safer.
[at dinnertime]
Lisa: You're serving us gruel?
Dolph: Not quite. This is Krusty Brand Imitation Gruel. Nine out of ten orphans can't tell the difference.
Lisa: I feel like I'm gonna die, Bart.
Bart: We're all gonna die, Lis.
Lisa: I meant soon.
Bart: So did I.
Marge [about Lisa's frantic letter home]: She complains now, but when we go to pick her up, she won't want to leave.
Mr. Black: Well kids, I promised you a little treat in lieu of dinner, and here it is. The man who took an abandoned mule tannery, and turned it into a summer wonderland: Mr. Krusty the Klown!
(Instead of the real Krusty, it's a disheveled Barney Gumble in a crude disguise)
Mr. Black: Now I must tell you kids Krusty has laryngitis and a bad back so he won't be saying anything or doing anything.
Milhouse: Krusty looks fat!
Lisa: He's really having trouble keeping his balance!
Ralph: He's still funny, but not ha-ha funny!
Bart: (angry) That's not Krusty the Klown!!
(The other kids gasp)
Mr. Black: Well, what do you think? I slapped a clown suit on some wino? (laughs nervously)
Barney: Yeah Bart, I am so Crunchy the Clown! (belches)
Bart: All right, that's it! I've been scorched by Krusty before. I got a rapid heartbeat from his Krusty brand vitamins, my Krusty Kalculator didn't have a 7 or an 8, and Krusty's autobiography was self-serving with many glaring omissions. But this time, he's gone too far! WE WANT KRUSTY! (the other kids join in the chant) WE WANT KRUSTY! WE WANT KRUSTY!
Barney: Yeah! We want Crunchy! We want Crunchy!
Bart: My chunky brothers! Gorge yourselves at the trough of freedom!
Kent Brockman [about the chaos at Kamp Krusty]: Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been to Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan, and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put together. A group of school-aged Spartacuses have taken the camp by force. Three counsellors are missing, and presumed scared.
Homer [watching the report about Kamp Krusty on the news]: Don't be the boy, don't be the boy...
Bart: We want the whole world to know that this was a really crappy camp. [covers microphone with his hand] Can I say "crappy" on TV?
Kent: Yes, on this network you can.
Krusty: I'm no fake! I'm the real Krusty!
Lisa: Oh yeah!? Who played your daughter in the short-lived sitcom, "President Clown"?
Krusty: I don't know her name, but she held up a liquor store last year.
Bart: Krusty! This camp was a nightmare! They fed us gruel, they forced us to make wallets for export, and one of the campers was eaten by a bear!
Krusty: Oh my God!!
Bart: Well, actually, the bear just ate his hat.
Krusty: Was it a nice hat?
Bart: Oh yeah.
Krusty: Oh My God!!
Krusty: I'm taking you kids to the happiest place on Earth: Tijuana!
Homer: Marge, am I crazy or is my back getting hairier?
Lisa: (writing home) Dear Mom and Dad, I no longer fear hell, because I've been to Kamp Krusty.
Otto: All right! Three whole months of Spaghetti-O's and daytime TV!
