Difference between revisions of "Springfield Up/Quotes"
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Little Big Girl|Yokel Chords}} | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Little Big Girl|Yokel Chords}} | ||
| − | {{ | + | {{qf|[[Declan Desmond]]}} Oh, hello! Thirty-two years ago I interviewed a group of Springfield school-children. These children ran the gamut of society: rich and poor, black and white, "he'll grow into his looks" and "forever hideous." |
| − | + | {{qf|11-Year-Old-[[Moe]]}} My Dad was a circus freak but my Mom don't remember which one. I like to think it was a little bit of all of them. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Declan}} Every eight years I revisited those children, creating a cinematic chronicle of their lives. Join me, won't you, to see dreams dissolve like a muffin in the rain, in: ''[[Growing Up Springfield]]''! | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ' | + | {{qf|Declan}} So, Lenny, what have we here? |
| + | {{qf|8-Year-Old [[Lenny]]}} My daddy said I can have any birthday party I want. My cake will be a picture of a dinosaur and all the guests will say, "Why, Lenny, that's a fine cake!" Then, "yes," I'll say. | ||
| + | {{qf|Declan}} I decided not to waste anymore film on him after that. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | '''Homer'' | + | {{qf|8-Year-Old [[Carl]]}} I wish for world peace. |
| + | {{qf|8-Year-Old [[Barney]]}} I wish for world war. | ||
| + | {{qf|8-Year-Old Carl}} Oh yeah, that would be cooler. | ||
| + | {{qf|8-Year-Old [[Homer]]}} I wish when I grow up, I'll be richer than everybody! | ||
| + | :''[the other children laugh at Homer]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|8-Year-Old Homer}} I will! I will be rich! I'll own a football team and a basketball team and I'll make them play baseball! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | {{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} And here we are in now-times. As you can see, I have gotten everything I've ever wanted. |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Lou]]}} Except pants that fit. | |
| − | ''' | + | {{qf|Chief Wiggum}} I told you that if I let you into this movie, you couldn't make fun of me. |
| + | {{qf|Lou}} I'm not makin' fun of you. I'm makin' fun of your pants. | ||
| + | {{qf|Chief Wiggum}} How'd you like it if I made fun of your pants? | ||
| + | {{qf|Lou}} Go ahead. | ||
| + | {{qf|Chief Wiggum}} They're a little, uh... they're-they're, they-aw, they're perfect. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|8-Year-Old Homer}} When I grow up, I'll have a giant mansion, my own pinball machine with infinity quarters, eight pairs of peanut butter and jelly pajamas. How many wishes do I have left? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Declan}} None. You never had any. I'm not a genie. | |
| − | + | {{qf|8-Year-Old Homer}} [[D'oh!]] | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Declan}} Don't look at me, look at the camera. | |
| − | + | {{qf|8-Year-Old Homer}} Got it. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Declan}} I said, look at the camera. | |
| − | + | {{qf|8-Year-Old Homer}} No problem. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Declan}} Now you're looking at a mud puddle. That's your hand. That's the production accountant. That's your other hand. Do you even know what a camera is? | |
| − | + | {{qf|8-Year-Old Homer}} Why, of cour—No. | |
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Declan}} Homer had found a peanut of hope in his Cracker Jack box of despair... | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ' | + | {{qf|Declan}} I can't believe it. Homer Simpson... a bloody millionaire! |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Why do you sound so shocked? This is our fifth take. | |
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | :''[Bart and Lisa ride in on dolphins]'' |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Bart]]}} Mine has a cup holder! | |
| − | ''' | + | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Bart, that's a blowhole! |
| + | {{qf|Bart}} You're a blowhole! | ||
| + | :''[the dolphin starts to sink]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} No, boy! Up, up, up! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Declan}} Well Marge, you must be proud of your "Homie". | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Marge]]}} Oh yes. I'm so proud, I feel my chest might burst. Can you edit that? I don't wanna say "chest" in a movie. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Declan}} You said it and it stays! | |
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | {{qf|Homer}} You see Declan, I made my millions with a simple invention—the [[Condiment Pen]]! Just click the buttons at the top and you can choose from ketchup, mustard, mayo, and relish. ''[whispers loudly]'' I got the idea from the regular pen. |
| − | + | {{qf|Declan}} Can I use it on fish and chips? | |
| − | ' | + | {{qf|Homer}} I don't know. You can put horseradish on your dead mother for all I care. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Professor Frink]]}} I give you the [[Chrono Trike]]! Now I'll go back in time to tell myself to choose a different career. One where I'll meet a female woman of the girl-u-lar variety. | |
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Declan}} This overnight affluence must have come as a tremendous shock. | |
| + | {{qf|Marge}} Oh, yes sir... as shocks go, this one's a real zaparoo. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ' | + | {{qf|[[Mr. Burns]]}} What are you people doing in [[Burns' Summer Mansion|my Summer home]]? |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Uh, this is Eduardo, my pool boy. He thinks he's an angry rich man. | |
| − | '' | + | {{qf|Mr. Burns}} I am an angry rich man! |
| + | {{qf|Homer}} ''[loudly whispering]'' That's the pool chemicals talking. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} Mr. Burns, we're so sorry. The plan was just to use your back yard, and the next thing we know, Mr. Smithers is tied up in a grandfather clock. | |
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | {{qf|Declan}} Lenny... always exciting to hear from you. Did you ever try that new shampoo? |
| + | {{qf|Lenny}} Nope, never did. ''[uncomfortable silence]'' Wanna watch me pay my cable bill? I got checks with butterflies on 'em. ''[Lenny walks off]'' I am interesting. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | {{qf|Declan}} But what you said about Homer it's... it's given me a brilliant idea! |
| + | {{qf|Moe}} An action movie where I play the Pope who kills the President? | ||
| + | {{qf|Declan}} No, that's a terrible idea. | ||
| + | {{qf|Moe}} Yeah, I know, it is stupid. I think it could work, though. I even got a title: ''Pontiff No Return''. I came up with it, but I don't really get it. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Declan}} I have some footage to show you. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Oh, spirit. Are you gonna show me my future? My snow-flecked grave, mourned by no man? Well, it's not too late for me to change! ''[runs to the window]'' You there, boy! Buy me a Christmas goose! The biggest one in the shop! | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Squeaky-voiced teen]]}} And then what? | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Moe}} Have you been to Homer's house?! It's got a back yard, a front yard... the place is like yard city! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Krusty the Clown]]}} Homer gave me a kidney. It wasn't his, I didn't need it, and it came postage due, but still a lovely gesture. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} All those years I was dreaming of other things, I was actually doing what I really wanted... hanging out with my family, drinking with my friends, making friends with my family, and hanging with my drinking! | ||
| + | {{qf|Marge}} Marge, you're my real dream come true. And I get to live you every day. | ||
{{Season 18|Q}} | {{Season 18|Q}} | ||
Latest revision as of 13:16, April 3, 2024
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- Declan Desmond: Oh, hello! Thirty-two years ago I interviewed a group of Springfield school-children. These children ran the gamut of society: rich and poor, black and white, "he'll grow into his looks" and "forever hideous."
- 11-Year-Old-Moe: My Dad was a circus freak but my Mom don't remember which one. I like to think it was a little bit of all of them.
- Declan: Every eight years I revisited those children, creating a cinematic chronicle of their lives. Join me, won't you, to see dreams dissolve like a muffin in the rain, in: Growing Up Springfield!
- Declan: So, Lenny, what have we here?
- 8-Year-Old Lenny: My daddy said I can have any birthday party I want. My cake will be a picture of a dinosaur and all the guests will say, "Why, Lenny, that's a fine cake!" Then, "yes," I'll say.
- Declan: I decided not to waste anymore film on him after that.
- 8-Year-Old Carl: I wish for world peace.
- 8-Year-Old Barney: I wish for world war.
- 8-Year-Old Carl: Oh yeah, that would be cooler.
- 8-Year-Old Homer: I wish when I grow up, I'll be richer than everybody!
- [the other children laugh at Homer]
- 8-Year-Old Homer: I will! I will be rich! I'll own a football team and a basketball team and I'll make them play baseball!
- Chief Wiggum: And here we are in now-times. As you can see, I have gotten everything I've ever wanted.
- Lou: Except pants that fit.
- Chief Wiggum: I told you that if I let you into this movie, you couldn't make fun of me.
- Lou: I'm not makin' fun of you. I'm makin' fun of your pants.
- Chief Wiggum: How'd you like it if I made fun of your pants?
- Lou: Go ahead.
- Chief Wiggum: They're a little, uh... they're-they're, they-aw, they're perfect.
- 8-Year-Old Homer: When I grow up, I'll have a giant mansion, my own pinball machine with infinity quarters, eight pairs of peanut butter and jelly pajamas. How many wishes do I have left?
- Declan: None. You never had any. I'm not a genie.
- 8-Year-Old Homer: D'oh!
- Declan: Don't look at me, look at the camera.
- 8-Year-Old Homer: Got it.
- Declan: I said, look at the camera.
- 8-Year-Old Homer: No problem.
- Declan: Now you're looking at a mud puddle. That's your hand. That's the production accountant. That's your other hand. Do you even know what a camera is?
- 8-Year-Old Homer: Why, of cour—No.
- Declan: Homer had found a peanut of hope in his Cracker Jack box of despair...
- Declan: I can't believe it. Homer Simpson... a bloody millionaire!
- Homer: Why do you sound so shocked? This is our fifth take.
- [Bart and Lisa ride in on dolphins]
- Bart: Mine has a cup holder!
- Lisa: Bart, that's a blowhole!
- Bart: You're a blowhole!
- [the dolphin starts to sink]
- Bart: No, boy! Up, up, up!
- Declan: Well Marge, you must be proud of your "Homie".
- Marge: Oh yes. I'm so proud, I feel my chest might burst. Can you edit that? I don't wanna say "chest" in a movie.
- Declan: You said it and it stays!
- Homer: You see Declan, I made my millions with a simple invention—the Condiment Pen! Just click the buttons at the top and you can choose from ketchup, mustard, mayo, and relish. [whispers loudly] I got the idea from the regular pen.
- Declan: Can I use it on fish and chips?
- Homer: I don't know. You can put horseradish on your dead mother for all I care.
- Professor Frink: I give you the Chrono Trike! Now I'll go back in time to tell myself to choose a different career. One where I'll meet a female woman of the girl-u-lar variety.
- Declan: This overnight affluence must have come as a tremendous shock.
- Marge: Oh, yes sir... as shocks go, this one's a real zaparoo.
- Mr. Burns: What are you people doing in my Summer home?
- Homer: Uh, this is Eduardo, my pool boy. He thinks he's an angry rich man.
- Mr. Burns: I am an angry rich man!
- Homer: [loudly whispering] That's the pool chemicals talking.
- Marge: Mr. Burns, we're so sorry. The plan was just to use your back yard, and the next thing we know, Mr. Smithers is tied up in a grandfather clock.
- Declan: Lenny... always exciting to hear from you. Did you ever try that new shampoo?
- Lenny: Nope, never did. [uncomfortable silence] Wanna watch me pay my cable bill? I got checks with butterflies on 'em. [Lenny walks off] I am interesting.
- Declan: But what you said about Homer it's... it's given me a brilliant idea!
- Moe: An action movie where I play the Pope who kills the President?
- Declan: No, that's a terrible idea.
- Moe: Yeah, I know, it is stupid. I think it could work, though. I even got a title: Pontiff No Return. I came up with it, but I don't really get it.
- Declan: I have some footage to show you.
- Homer: Oh, spirit. Are you gonna show me my future? My snow-flecked grave, mourned by no man? Well, it's not too late for me to change! [runs to the window] You there, boy! Buy me a Christmas goose! The biggest one in the shop!
- Squeaky-voiced teen: And then what?
- Moe: Have you been to Homer's house?! It's got a back yard, a front yard... the place is like yard city!
- Krusty the Clown: Homer gave me a kidney. It wasn't his, I didn't need it, and it came postage due, but still a lovely gesture.
- Homer: All those years I was dreaming of other things, I was actually doing what I really wanted... hanging out with my family, drinking with my friends, making friends with my family, and hanging with my drinking!
- Marge: Marge, you're my real dream come true. And I get to live you every day.
