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[[File:Jack Lassen.png|230px|left|link=Jack Lassen]]
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[[File:Bart's guilt.png|150px|left|link=Bart's guilt]]
  
'''Jack Lassen''' is a former school teacher and current prison guard at the [[Springfield Penitentiary]].
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'''Bart's guilt''' is a manifestation of [[Bart]]'s guilt.
  
According to Lassen's [[Wiccapedia]] article, he was born in [[Maine]] to Julius and Marion Lassen. His ancestors moved from Maine during the Civil War in the 1860s. His parents also named him after [[John F. Kennedy|Jack Kennedy]], who they mistook for his brother [[Bobby Kennedy|Bobby]].
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When [[Bart]] became jealous of the attention [[Lisa]] was getting after she got a new hat, which she affectionately named "[[Sunny]]", Bart threw the hat out of the car window while Lisa was sleeping and into a scrapyard. That night, Bart's guilt appeared to him. Bart was adamant that he didn't feel guilty about throwing away Lisa's hat, and Bart's denial also showed up to protect him, but Bart's guilt snapped his denial's neck. Later, Bart woke up in the night to find that his guilt was still there. Bart told his guilt that he looked worse, and Bart's guilt told him that Bart's lack of remorse made him grow. Bart's guilt then got bigger and greener, scaring Bart. However, Bart still tried to take it in stride, telling his guilt that he liked gross things when his guilt ate his pillow and spat it out covered in green goop, and enjoyed being eaten and pooped out by his guilt too.
  
Lassen became a teacher at [[Springfield Elementary]] after his name was selected at random by [[Gary Chalmers]] at the annual Dance of the Lemons. He was later sent to [[Principal Skinner]]'s office by [[Myra]] who told him he could not smoke before he ate the cigarette and burned the match on his eye. Skinner spoke to Lassen about his prior school experience, including at [[Shelbyville]] Prep. After Skinner mentioned Lassen entering the public school system, Lassen said that how he got this scar before cutting a large gash into his face with a pocket knife. Skinner ended the evaluation of Lassen when he discovered he was left-handed. Soon after, Lassen entered the fourth grade classroom and wrote his name on the blackboard.
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The next morning, Bart's guilt had grown even bigger. Bart lied to his family, telling them that he had slept well. [[Marge]] then asked if he had seen Lisa's hat, and Bart's guilt grew again. Bart told Marge that he didn't remember Lisa having a hat, causing his guilt to grow even more. Bart's guilt then blew his nose on the kitchen curtains and cooked his hand in the waffle maker...
  
[[Nelson]] made fun of Lassen's name which infuriated him. Lassen also poked fun at Nelson even mentioning his [[Mrs. Muntz|mother]], which led Nelson to cry. As this happened [[Milhouse]] researched Lassen on [[Wiccapedia]], telling [[Bart]] that he served two tours in middle school and also to abort his planned prank on Lassen...
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Latest revision as of 09:57, July 1, 2026

Bart's guilt.png

Bart's guilt is a manifestation of Bart's guilt.

When Bart became jealous of the attention Lisa was getting after she got a new hat, which she affectionately named "Sunny", Bart threw the hat out of the car window while Lisa was sleeping and into a scrapyard. That night, Bart's guilt appeared to him. Bart was adamant that he didn't feel guilty about throwing away Lisa's hat, and Bart's denial also showed up to protect him, but Bart's guilt snapped his denial's neck. Later, Bart woke up in the night to find that his guilt was still there. Bart told his guilt that he looked worse, and Bart's guilt told him that Bart's lack of remorse made him grow. Bart's guilt then got bigger and greener, scaring Bart. However, Bart still tried to take it in stride, telling his guilt that he liked gross things when his guilt ate his pillow and spat it out covered in green goop, and enjoyed being eaten and pooped out by his guilt too.

The next morning, Bart's guilt had grown even bigger. Bart lied to his family, telling them that he had slept well. Marge then asked if he had seen Lisa's hat, and Bart's guilt grew again. Bart told Marge that he didn't remember Lisa having a hat, causing his guilt to grow even more. Bart's guilt then blew his nose on the kitchen curtains and cooked his hand in the waffle maker...

Read more of this article | More featured articles | Vote for a featured article