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[[File:Snake Jailbird.png|150px|left|link=Snake Jailbird]]
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[[File:Bart's guilt.png|150px|left|link=Bart's guilt]]
  
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'''Professor Chester Turley''', or '''Snake Jailbird''', also known as '''Professor Jailbird''' and '''Detention Bird''' and '''Albert Knickerbocker Aloysius Snake''' is a recidivist criminal, always getting arrested but rarely appearing to stay in jail. He speaks with a "Valley Boy" accent. He is partial to fast cars and fast women, and has a knack for reckless abandon.
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'''Bart's guilt''' is a manifestation of [[Bart]]'s guilt.
  
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In a documentary by [[Declan Desmond]] showing the pasts of several Springfield citizens, a 13-year-old Snake is called "Detention Bird" by a 16-year-old Clancy Wiggum.
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When [[Bart]] became jealous of the attention [[Lisa]] was getting after she got a new hat, which she affectionately named "[[Sunny]]", Bart threw the hat out of the car window while Lisa was sleeping and into a scrapyard. That night, Bart's guilt appeared to him. Bart was adamant that he didn't feel guilty about throwing away Lisa's hat, and Bart's denial also showed up to protect him, but Bart's guilt snapped his denial's neck. Later, Bart woke up in the night to find that his guilt was still there. Bart told his guilt that he looked worse, and Bart's guilt told him that Bart's lack of remorse made him grow. Bart's guilt then got bigger and greener, scaring Bart. However, Bart still tried to take it in stride, telling his guilt that he liked gross things when his guilt ate his pillow and spat it out covered in green goop, and enjoyed being eaten and pooped out by his guilt too.
  
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Snake referred to himself as "Professor Jailbird"; it was also revealed that he was formerly an idealistic Indiana Jones-type archaeologist, until Moe stole the Mayan gold coins, that he had discovered and was going to donate to the museum, and he decided to take his revenge out on society (convenience stores).
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The next morning, Bart's guilt had grown even bigger. Bart lied to his family, telling them that he had slept well. [[Marge]] then asked if he had seen Lisa's hat, and Bart's guilt grew again. Bart told Marge that he didn't remember Lisa having a hat, causing his guilt to grow even more. Bart's guilt then blew his nose on the kitchen curtains and cooked his hand in the waffle maker...
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It is stated that Snake had previously spend time in a juvenile facility, suggesting he was a criminal before being an archaeologist.
 
  
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Snake (as well as [[Otto]]) was the one responsible for ruining Spinal Tap's concert.
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<p style="font-size: small; text-align: right;">[[Bart's guilt|Read more of this article]] | [[Wikisimpsons:Previous Featured articles|More featured articles]] | [[Wikisimpsons:Featured article|Vote for a featured article]]</p><noinclude>
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Snake's real name is revealed to be Chester Turley on a list of [[Springfield]] citizens taking revenge on [[Mr. Burns]].
 
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Snake is always seen getting arrested, but never appearing to stay in prison. He speaks with a "Valley Boy" accent and keeps a zippo lighter rolled up in his sleeve. Snake has light brown hair. He is also 43 years old. His occupation is a criminal and a former professor and archaeologist. Snake is partial to fast cars and fast women, and has a knack for reckless abandon.
 
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Snake's car's name is "Lil' Bandit," which is a 1969 Dodge Charger. It could be a reference to James Dean's so-called possessed car the "Li'l Bastard." It should be noted that the Lil' Bandit's horn plays the opening line of the tune Dixie, similar to The General Lee from the ''The Dukes of Hazzard''.
 
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<p style="font-size: small; text-align: right;">[[Snake Jailbird|Read more of this article]] | [[Wikisimpsons:Previous Featured articles|More featured articles]] | [[Wikisimpsons:Featured article|Vote for a featured article]]</p><noinclude>
 
 
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Latest revision as of 09:57, July 1, 2026

Bart's guilt.png

Bart's guilt is a manifestation of Bart's guilt.

When Bart became jealous of the attention Lisa was getting after she got a new hat, which she affectionately named "Sunny", Bart threw the hat out of the car window while Lisa was sleeping and into a scrapyard. That night, Bart's guilt appeared to him. Bart was adamant that he didn't feel guilty about throwing away Lisa's hat, and Bart's denial also showed up to protect him, but Bart's guilt snapped his denial's neck. Later, Bart woke up in the night to find that his guilt was still there. Bart told his guilt that he looked worse, and Bart's guilt told him that Bart's lack of remorse made him grow. Bart's guilt then got bigger and greener, scaring Bart. However, Bart still tried to take it in stride, telling his guilt that he liked gross things when his guilt ate his pillow and spat it out covered in green goop, and enjoyed being eaten and pooped out by his guilt too.

The next morning, Bart's guilt had grown even bigger. Bart lied to his family, telling them that he had slept well. Marge then asked if he had seen Lisa's hat, and Bart's guilt grew again. Bart told Marge that he didn't remember Lisa having a hat, causing his guilt to grow even more. Bart's guilt then blew his nose on the kitchen curtains and cooked his hand in the waffle maker...

Read more of this article | More featured articles | Vote for a featured article

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