Difference between revisions of "To Heir I$ Homer/Quotes"
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| − | + | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} But what'll I tell Marge and the kids? | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Grampa]]}} Tell 'em I died! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} I'm no good at lying. Why don't you tell them you died. ''[thinking]'' Wait, that won't work... ''[out loud]'' ...D'oh! Hey! Thanks a lot stupid brain! | |
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Hey, how would you like to have dinner with my family? We're having casserole. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Samuel T. Duff]]}} What kind of casserole? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Uh, you know, yummy, tasty casserole, made from... Mmm... Casserole food. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Sam}} O.K., let's go. | |
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Sam}} Something sure smells good. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Bart]]}} ''[whispering]'' It sure isn't Sam. | |
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Marge]]}} This must be his first meal in weeks. Kids, what your father did was... Um... Impulsive, but still very noble. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Yeah, dad should be commended. He heard the desperate pleas of the disenfranchised and said... | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Mmm, gristle! | |
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Bart}} Hey! They're interrupting the clowniest clown on Earth for some lousy grown-up story. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} Be quiet, Bart. Special reports herald monumental occasions in one's life. It could be an announcement of a precedent-setting change in foreign policy, the discovery of a cure for a previously incurable disease, or... | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} We interrupt this program, quite frankly... Heh, heh. Because we can! | |
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} ..A flagrant display of the news media's totalitarian grip on the airwaves. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Marge}} Homer, do you see what I see? | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Yeah, so? It's just some news guy talking about somebody being put into that old guy's will, while at the same time they're showing a videotape of me getting the morning paper. It's not like they said I inherited a whole beer empire and billions of dollars, now is it, Mrs. Smarty-pants? | ||
| + | {{qf|Kent Brockman}} So far, little is known about the new owner of the Duff Breweries other than his name, Homer J. Simpson! | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} D'oh! I'm sorry about the smarty-pants thing, Marge. I was wrong. I'm a billionaaaaire! I'm a billionaaaaire! I'm a billionaaaaire! | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} Well, wham-bam, thank you, Sam! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Mr. Burns! What are you doing here? | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Mr. Burns]]}} Surprise, Simpson. Meet the proud owner of forty-nine percent of Duff Industries. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Who? | ||
| + | {{qf|Mr. Burns}} Me, you idiot! | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Oh. Wait a minute... Let's see, forty-nine percent... Out of one hundred percent... Carry the one... Marge, if he owns forty-nine per... | ||
| + | {{qf|Marge}} You own fifty-one percent. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} D'oh! I knew it was too good to be true. | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} Dad, you own more. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Woo hoo! I own more! I own more! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Mr. Burns}} Here you go, Mr. Simpson, just one last brew and you will have your blasted empire. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} A quarter Duff Draft, an eighth Duff Dry... An eighth Duff Malt... An eighth Duff Lager... An eighth Duff Christmas Ale... And... An eighth, no a quarter... Duff Amber Fire-brewed Barley Export, which is only sold... In [[Canada]]! | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Waylon Smithers]]}} I'm afraid he's right, sir. | ||
| + | {{qf|Mr. Burns}} Blast his taste buds! I mean it, Smithers. I want you to find someone to blast his tastebuds! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Marge}} Three hundred dollars is a lot of money, homey. We can still carpet the basement. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} It's not the money, Marge. It's that I failed... Again! And at something as simple as running a billion dollar beer empire. | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} It wasn't a total loss, dad. I learned that mindless automatons will not make human laborers obsolete. | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} Yeah, and I got to experience the life of a ne'er-do-well playboy sponging off the family fortune. | ||
| + | {{qf|Marge}} And I got to see that I love my husband, no matter where he works... Or doesn't. Maybe Mr. Burns will give you your old job back. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} No way. He must think I'm the biggest dope in the world. | ||
| − | + | [[Category:Simpsons Comics stories quotes]] | |
Latest revision as of 11:47, May 28, 2026
- Homer: But what'll I tell Marge and the kids?
- Grampa: Tell 'em I died!
- Homer: I'm no good at lying. Why don't you tell them you died. [thinking] Wait, that won't work... [out loud] ...D'oh! Hey! Thanks a lot stupid brain!
- Homer: Hey, how would you like to have dinner with my family? We're having casserole.
- Samuel T. Duff: What kind of casserole?
- Homer: Uh, you know, yummy, tasty casserole, made from... Mmm... Casserole food.
- Sam: O.K., let's go.
- Sam: Something sure smells good.
- Bart: [whispering] It sure isn't Sam.
- Marge: This must be his first meal in weeks. Kids, what your father did was... Um... Impulsive, but still very noble.
- Lisa: Yeah, dad should be commended. He heard the desperate pleas of the disenfranchised and said...
- Homer: Mmm, gristle!
- Bart: Hey! They're interrupting the clowniest clown on Earth for some lousy grown-up story.
- Lisa: Be quiet, Bart. Special reports herald monumental occasions in one's life. It could be an announcement of a precedent-setting change in foreign policy, the discovery of a cure for a previously incurable disease, or...
- Kent Brockman: We interrupt this program, quite frankly... Heh, heh. Because we can!
- Lisa: ..A flagrant display of the news media's totalitarian grip on the airwaves.
- Marge: Homer, do you see what I see?
- Homer: Yeah, so? It's just some news guy talking about somebody being put into that old guy's will, while at the same time they're showing a videotape of me getting the morning paper. It's not like they said I inherited a whole beer empire and billions of dollars, now is it, Mrs. Smarty-pants?
- Kent Brockman: So far, little is known about the new owner of the Duff Breweries other than his name, Homer J. Simpson!
- Homer: D'oh! I'm sorry about the smarty-pants thing, Marge. I was wrong. I'm a billionaaaaire! I'm a billionaaaaire! I'm a billionaaaaire!
- Bart: Well, wham-bam, thank you, Sam!
- Homer: Mr. Burns! What are you doing here?
- Mr. Burns: Surprise, Simpson. Meet the proud owner of forty-nine percent of Duff Industries.
- Homer: Who?
- Mr. Burns: Me, you idiot!
- Homer: Oh. Wait a minute... Let's see, forty-nine percent... Out of one hundred percent... Carry the one... Marge, if he owns forty-nine per...
- Marge: You own fifty-one percent.
- Homer: D'oh! I knew it was too good to be true.
- Lisa: Dad, you own more.
- Homer: Woo hoo! I own more! I own more!
- Mr. Burns: Here you go, Mr. Simpson, just one last brew and you will have your blasted empire.
- Homer: A quarter Duff Draft, an eighth Duff Dry... An eighth Duff Malt... An eighth Duff Lager... An eighth Duff Christmas Ale... And... An eighth, no a quarter... Duff Amber Fire-brewed Barley Export, which is only sold... In Canada!
- Waylon Smithers: I'm afraid he's right, sir.
- Mr. Burns: Blast his taste buds! I mean it, Smithers. I want you to find someone to blast his tastebuds!
- Marge: Three hundred dollars is a lot of money, homey. We can still carpet the basement.
- Homer: It's not the money, Marge. It's that I failed... Again! And at something as simple as running a billion dollar beer empire.
- Lisa: It wasn't a total loss, dad. I learned that mindless automatons will not make human laborers obsolete.
- Bart: Yeah, and I got to experience the life of a ne'er-do-well playboy sponging off the family fortune.
- Marge: And I got to see that I love my husband, no matter where he works... Or doesn't. Maybe Mr. Burns will give you your old job back.
- Homer: No way. He must think I'm the biggest dope in the world.
