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| − | The list below is almost complete.
| + | #REDIRECT [[:Category:Characters]] |
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| − | ==Alfreds==
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| − | *'''Alamance Alfred''' is the main character, a conservative who lives on welfare and drinks beer.
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| − | *'''Josie Alfred''' is Alfred's mother, who lives in Graham.
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| − | *'''Jackie Alfred''' is the dead father.
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| − | *'''Gary Alfred''' is the grandfather.
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| − | *'''Jane Alfred''' is the grandmother.
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| − | *'''Uncle Jason''' is the moonshine uncle.
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| − | *'''Lord Pee''' is Alfred's weird cousin.
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| − | *'''Al Fred Alfred''' is Alfred's upper-class cousin.
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| − | *'''Winkenstein Alfred''' is Uncle Jason's son.
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| − | *''Moonshine brother of Gary''
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| − | ==Bobbulas==
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| − | *'''Randall Bobbula''' is Alfred's vandalizin' friend.
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| − | *'''Wendy Bobbula''' is Randall's wife.
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| − | *'''Danietta Bobbula''' is Randall's submissive daughter.
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| − | *'''Barnes the Croboy''' is Randall's annoying brother.
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| − | ==Matthews==
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| − | *'''Jed Matthews''' is a moonshine redneck friend of Alfred'''
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| − | *'''Clara Matthews''' is Jed's sexy daughter, who is Alf's love interest.
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| − | *'''Gramma and Grampa Matthews''' are Clara's grandparents.
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| − | *'''Jake Matthews''' is Jed's annoying son.
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| − | ==McGrath==
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| − | | |
| − | *'''Seamus "Master" McGrath''' is Alfred's friend, a substitute Gaelic teacher.
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| − | *'''Loony Larry McGrath''' is one of Crazy Jeff's customers. Seamus's brother.
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| − | *'''Harry McGrath''' is Seamus's other brother.
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| − | ==Cook==
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| − | *'''Miranda "Randy" Cook''', usually called "Mr. Cook", is a greedy politician. Likes drinking with Alfred.
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| − | *'''William Cook''' is the Geezer-Father of Mr. Cook.
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| − | *'''Jefferson Davis "Crazy Jeff" Cook''' is Mr. Cook's cousin, who claims he has a great esteat when he actually has a bad one.
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| − | ==Mill Workers==
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| − | | |
| − | *'''Lars''' is a tall mill worker,
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| − | *'''Brad''' is a short one.
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| − | *'''Luke''' is the medium-sized one.
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| − | *''Unnamed mill worker''
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| − | | |
| − | ==Corbins==
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| − | | |
| − | *'''Ben Corbin''' is Alf's housekeeper.
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| − | *'''Tliklins Corbin'''is Ben's sexist father.
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| − | ==Vordermeers==
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| − | *'''Derfhiggen Vordermeer''' is Alfred's Armenian "friend".
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| − | *'''Driddheim''' is the bratty son.
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| − | *'''Entweiler''' is the wife who stayed in Armenia.
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| − | *'''Wirhes''' is Derf's sister.
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| − | ==Lodikrap==
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| − | | |
| − | *'''Jake Lodikrap''' is an evil hippie.
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| − | *'''Bill Lodikrap''' is Jake's conservative brother.
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| − | ==Others==
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| − | | |
| − | *'''H.E.L.L.''' Criminal who killed Alf's father.
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| − | *'''Erica Wimblinstein''' is a Goth girl.
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| − | *'''Me''' is a TBH.
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| − | *'''Admiral Wombat''' is a spoof of Captain Cangaroo. Stars of Admiral Wombat include:
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| − | :'''Mr. Chicken''' is a chicken who is afraid of being Kentucky-fried.
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| − | :'''The Colonel''' tries to destroy Mr. Chicken.
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| − | :'''Mark Moron''' is the name of a kid who becomes a supehero called Carlow Crab. Inspiration for the show "[[The Carlow Crab]]".
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| − | :'''Wicklow Wasp''' is the Crab's main enemy. | |
| − | :'''Lord Steiner''' is a German Guy. | |
| − | *'''Mr. Robinson''' is the obese boss at the mill.
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| − | *'''Danny Faintomb''' A biker who knew Corbin.
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| − | *'''Scarab''' Guy in a Scarab Suit who mutilates Clara.
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| − | *'''Mr. MacEnis''' is a giant penis.
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| − | *'''Merfhiggen Morderveer''' is an anti-Armenia idiot. For more information see [[wikipedia:Special:Contributions/Mr. Rednex|this]].
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| − | *'''Dumb Dawg''' is a dumb dawg.
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| − | *'''Sith Johnson''' is a mill owner.
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| − | *'''Camden Countysman''' is an annoying guy from the NC coast.
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| − | *'''Lyndon Johnson''' is Sith's brother.
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| − | *'''Nelson Arlenass''' is an astronaut from Burlington.
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| − | *'''Wallace Ihitballs''' is a thug and friend of H.E.L.L.
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| − | *'''Laughnaugh McShaugnhaugn''' is the normal Gaelic teacher.
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| − | *'''Taughnaugh McShaugnaughn''' is Laughnaugh's Cona Hahahahahahhahahahhahhaahat hottie wife.
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| − | *'''Wachaun''' is a good Gaelic speaker and friend of Laughnaugh.
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| − | *'''Wikipedia Morderveer''' is Merfhiggen's father who hates Derfhiggen.
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| − | *'''Mailman''' is a buffoonish mailman.
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| − | *'''Trent Burns''' is a bad student at the Gaelic class.
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| − | *'''Tara''' is a cheerleader.
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| − | *'''Tilikia Wallburg''' is a popular jerk at the Gaelic class.
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| − | *'''Samantha''' is Erica's friend.
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| − | *'''Luben Becker''' is another German guy. He owns a store often visited by Alf.
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| − | *'''Stuben Becker''' is Luben's snobby brother.
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| − | *''Unnamed hottie who appears in Luben's store''.
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| − | *'''Joe Stenbert''' is the head of the Stenbert family of West Burlington.
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| − | *'''Mr. Potts''' is a grumpy old man who killed a Chapel Hill dweller.
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| − | *'''Bartholomew Breastenheimer''' is a yuppie from Chapel [[hank|Hill]].
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| − | *'''Farley Canns''' is the owner of a junkyard.
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| − | *'''Cory Nathan''' is a receptionist at Jake's Healing Center.
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| − | *'''Ronny Wing''' owns a [[gun store]]!
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| − | *'''Fred Lipschitz''' works at the gun store. He is married to Gerald.
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| − | *'''Gerald McGraham''' is Fred's gay lover. He works at Sith's mill.
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| − | *''Unnamed friends of Tilikia''
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| − | *'''Mary Stenbert''' is Joe's wife.
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| − | *'''Talking Towers''' are some talking towers that were born in Greensboro, but go to Burlington to torment Jake Lodikrap.
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| − | *'''Arthur''' is a guy who helps the poor. He replaced Alfred in "[[Zorgin Hmorgin's Alamance Arthur]]".
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| − | *'''Zorgin Hmorgin''' sometimes appears.
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| − | *'''The Gay Club''' is a club in Chapel Hill that Jake belongs to. Consists of 12 people.
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