Difference between revisions of "Marge Gamer/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 16:46, March 28, 2022

Principal Skinner: I'm afraid that due to funding cuts, we've had to sell the science department skeleton and replace it with this Halloween costume. [Willie models the costume]

Superintendent Chalmers: Thank you, Willie. Now, please return it to its plastic snap case.

Skinner: [clears throat] Moving on, our class trip to Italy is now Spaghetti Night at Papa John's, and your $1,500 deposit will not be refunded.

Homer: Ooh, Papa John's!

Homer: Oh, Marge, you gotta get on the Net. It's got all the best conspiracy theories. Did you know that Hezbollah owns Little Dolly Snack Cakes? This stuff will rock your world.

Marge: Fine, I'll log onto Wahoo or Yippe or A-OK or Pooka-dooka, or whatever it's called.

Sideshow Mel: Can we move this meeting along? I pay my taxes, I expect my orange drink. (Sips cup) Ambrosia!

Lisa: And this website will tell you the weather.

Marge: [reading] Sunny? [looks out the window] I will never have to look out the window again!

Marge: And all this time I thought Googling yourself meant the other thing.

Marge: The Internet has it all. Today, I found out I have the same birthday as Randy Quaid, I MapQuested a great new route to the armory and I got a list of local houses where I'm not letting you kids trick-or-treat anymore!

Lisa: I'm proud of you, mom. You're like Christopher Columbus! You discovered something millions of people knew about before you.

Portly wizard: Greetings, cleric! Will you undertake a quest on my behalf?

Cleric Marge: Maybe I should run this by my husband first.

Portly wizard: Things are more fun if you answer yes.

Cleric Marge: Then yes, hither me forth on mine arduous quest!

Portly wizard: Once again, just yes.

Marge: What are you kids doing up so late?

Bart: We just got up.

Lisa: It's 7AM.

Marge: [gasps] I was on the computer all night!

Bart: Actually, it's Saturday.

Marge: [gasps] I played a day and a night! [she runs out]

Lisa: Bart, it's not Saturday.

Bart: Shh.

Cleric Marge: How did you get in my game? Are you a virus?

Vendor Apu: Oh no! I too am online playing! That cobra king over there is actually Snake.

Cobra King: The prison guards think I'm getting my online law degree. Ha, ha!

Enchantress Krabappel: This game is a great way to meet eligible men who can afford a computer-

Turkey Skinner: Or have access to one at the school library.

Enchantress Krabappel: It's amazing how you can be a turkey in every reality.

Turkey Skinner: What's important is we're talking.

Troll Moe: I'm Moe. I'm playin' this while I'm on the can.

Cleric Marge: Wow, Moe! You're a troll!

Troll Moe: What? No, my character's supposed to look like me. Why does everyone keep thinking I'm a troll?

Lady Milhouse: Brave sir knight?

Shadow Knight: What is it Lady Milhouse?

Lady Milhouse: I'm not a lady, it's a spell. A spell you said you'd reverse.

Shadow Knight: Yeah, yeah, it's on my list.

Cleric Marge: Why, Milhouse, don't you look pretty?

Lady Milhouse: It's a spell! And thank you.

Shadow Knight: Mom, what are you doing in my game? How would you like it if I suddenly started going shopping with you?

Cleric Marge: I'd like that very much.

Shadow Knight: Argh!

Shadow Knight: You're making me look bad in front of my minions!

Cleric Marge: If they think less of you because of me, then they're not really your minions.

Shadow Knight: Ugh. I am going off to explore the Crevices of Lagrimmar.

Cleric Marge: Great, I'll come with you. Shouldn't you bundle up? Here, let me enchant your pants.

Shadow Knight: Uuuuhhhh!

[Homer walks in on Lisa putting on shin guards]

Homer: Hey, Lisa, self-conscious about your shins? In my days, girls worried about their boobs.

Lisa: Dad, I'm going to play soccer.

Homer: Wait, that's soccer? I always called it human foosball. Would you like me to take you to your game?

Lisa: You already promised you would.

Homer: Aw, do I have to?

Homer: Whatsa matter, buddy? The American flag not good enough for ya?

[he head butts the linesman holding the orange flag]

Girl: That was my father!

Homer: I'm your father now!

Troll Jimbo: It's the Shadow Knight!

Cycloid Dolph: Run!

Troll Kearney: I forget how to do that!

Cycloid Dolph: Ctrl-shift-R.

[Bart slices off the bullies' heads]

Cleric Marge: Thank you, Bart. This frame grab's going on my coffee cup.

Lisa: Dad, I'm impressed, you've become a much better referee.

Homer: Thanks, honey. After what you said to me, I watched hours and hours of soccer. I almost saw a goal!

Helen Lovejoy: You are so blind, even Jesus couldn't heal you!

Timothy Lovejoy, Jr.: Helen, please. Don't drop the "J" bomb.

Cletus Spuckler: Sir, I have sired a dum-dum, a mush-head, a whatsit, a dog boy and somethin' with a human face and fish body what we called Kevin. But my young'uns is not dirty players!

Homer: I don't need a soccer lecture from a hillbilly!

Cletus: That's hill-William to you, sir!

Ronaldo: What about a lecture from me, Ronaldo?

Homer: Ronaldo?! Winner of two World Cups and three FIFA Player of the Year awards?

Ronaldo: Yes, I am what you said. Now, I travel the world exposing floppers. And your daughter is a flopper. Now, Ronaldo away!

[he exits with a bicycle kick]

Brandine Spuckler: You heard Geraldo. What's it gonna be?

Lisa: You can't give me a yellow card! You're my father!

Homer: When I put on these shorts, I'm not your father anymore. And judging by how tight they are, I'm never gonna be anyone else's either.

Shadow Knight: Where's all my stuff?

Cleric Marge: I thought all the swords and severed heads were kind of gory, so I redecorated using the Hello Kitty expansion pack.

Homer: Lisa, honey, I bought you something. A DVD!

Lisa: Not interested.

Homer: It's a documentary... by the BBC... in cooperation with Canal+.

Lisa: [gasps] Gimme, gimme, gimme!

Shadow Knight: Mom, I'm gonna give you life the way I imagine you gave life to me; by pressing alt-F5 repeatedly.

Lisa: You were right to kick me out of that game. Soccer was making me insane, just as it did the continents of Europe and South America.

Homer: Those places are pretty terrible.