Difference between revisions of "Splitting Hair"

Latest revision as of 13:06, January 10, 2026

Splitting Hair

Tapped Out Quest Information Level: 15 Update: Snow Place Like the Woods Required characters: Lumberjill Marge, Homer Internal name(s): SplittingHair ID(s): 275034 - 275037

Splitting Hair is a questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Snow Place Like the Woods content update. It requires Lumberjill Marge to be obtained.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark Homer? AAH! A ghost! It's Marge. The power is out again. Where are you? Right in front of you. Why do you feel funny? Kind of scratchier than normal... *annoyed grumble* Just hold Maggie while I cut some wood for a fire. Come here, Maggie. It's going to be okay. *annoyed upside-down suck suck* Task: "Make Lumberjill Marge Start a Fire". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Homer Try to See in the Dark". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. There we go. A fire in the hearth. All toasty warm... Okay, Homer, I can take Maggie again. Hey, I was going to change her diaper, but I didn't want to deny you mommy time with her. *suck suck* Marge, why are you wearing flannel? With all these snowstorms and blackouts, I figure we should have some firewood handy for warmth and light. But flannel? I mean...do we need to talk about how you're experimenting with a change of lifestyle? Homer, our marriage is all the experimenting I can handle. Honestly, even Dr. Frankenstein wouldn't try it. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark Homer, how much longer will these power blackouts keep on going? Why are you asking me? You work at the plant. In that case, forever. I mean, I'm a horrible employee. Me and nuclear power...? *explosion sound* We need to think of something, then. Having a beer always helps me think. How does that help? When I have one I can think of things other than "I want a beer". You want one? No thanks. I can think without a beer. Show off. Task: "Make Lumberjill Marge Vent Her Frustrations". The job takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Homer Sneak Out of the Room". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. *grumble grumble* Blackouts... *grumble grumble* Winter... *grumble grumble* Power plant... I just went to the Kwik-E-Mart to get more Duff, because the ones in our fridge were all missing. That happens a lot. More evidence of our ghost problem. Anyways, when I was there, I saw that Apu had bundles of firewood for sale. And people were buying them like crazy! Why do I have a feeling that you have a brilliant plan that involves me doing all the work? You have the same idea! Oh, Marge, we are two peas in a pod! ... I think I'll have that beer now. If I had any. Ghosts, Marge. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark Okay, Homer. How much firewood do you think we'll need to start? Well, let's see. When I was at Apu's, I started taking orders... Of course you did... *looking at note pad* I got orders from Ned, Kirk, Dr. Hibbert... How many logs can you turn out in an hour? I don't know. Maybe ten. In a day? Eighty or ninety. We'll need a day in an hour. *annoyed grumble* Task: "Make Homer Count the Orders". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Lumberjill Marge Start Stretching". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. ...so we need something in the neighborhood of eighty bundles of lumber. Eighty? That neighborhood's too rich for me. Come on, Marge, you can do it. I believe in you. And while I'm doing it what will you be doing? I'll be right here, believing in you. Or in the hammock. Homer, do you know how long that's going to take me to cut all this wood? A lot longer if we keep talking. So come on, chop chop. Don't push me. Um, please...chop chop? Okay, stand back. I need to do some stretching first... Gotta be limber to lumber! Or to strangle you. ... Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark Okay, Homer. Eighty bundles of firewood...have been split. By me. Good, because I told everyone that we'd guarantee delivery by nightfall. There's still some daylight for you to get all these out. What! You expect me to deliver these? Homer, this is too much. I know it's a lot, Marge, but I want you to be the face of our company. Honestly, what could my face sell? Maybe rash cream or fish intestines. *exhales* No, you're right. Okay, fine. I'll get these delivered. Task: "Make Lumberjill Marge Deliver Firewood". The job takes 4 hours. Homer? I'm back. Welcome home! Ned just sent over a Bible to thank us for the firewood. It burned up real good. Heavenly toasty. Well, I'm done. Done. Done. Done. Okay, we'll talk tomorrow about the new orders I got. This blackout is a goldmine. *lights flicker on* Hey! The lights are back on! Hurray. Damn. Now turn them off. I'm going to sleep. *snores* Quest reward: 200 and 20