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The Human League of Humans

Tapped Out The Human League of Humans Sidebar.png

Tapped Out Quest Information

Level:	15
Update:	Treehouse of Horror XXXIV
Required characters:	Homer, Lisa, Normal Springfielders, Ned
Optional characters:	Martin, Nelson, The General, MMA Jesus, Jesus Christ, Bart, Taekwon Dracula, Kung Fu Werewolf, See Currency-earning jobs
Internal name(s):	TheHumanLeagueOfHumans
ID(s):	273016 - 273020
Previous quest(s):	Encounters of the Not-Very-Spooky Kind A Special Message From Kang & Kodos Pt. 1
Next quest(s):	Just Wait Till Next Year

The Human League of Humans is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Treehouse of Horror XXXIV content update.

Contents

1 Dialogue
- 1.1 Pt. 1
- 1.2 Pt. 2
- 1.3 Pt. 3
- 1.4 Pt. 4
- 1.5 Pt. 5
2 Currency-earning jobs

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

Between October 31, 2023 and November 15, 2023
	The Ki-Ya Karate Monsters have to be stopped. They're karate-chopping things that shouldn't be chopped!
	They chopped parmesan cheese that should have been grated!
	Why won't the police do something?!
	You ARE the police, Chief.
	I'm the what now?
	I say we turn to that school with the smart kids! They can figure out a way to whoop those Karate Monsters!
	Mr. Simpson, STEM kids don't know how to fight.
	We enrolled at the STEM Academy to get away from regular schools where we constantly get beat up.
	That is smart thinking. I need to punch that! punches fist
Task: "Collect Dark Glasses" (x155). Task: "Make Homer Try to Shift Responsibility to Smart Kids". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Quimby Compound, Police Station, Court House, or Simpson House and takes 4 hours. If Martin is owned: Task: "Make Martin Insist Smart Kids Don't Know How to Fight". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Quimby Compound, Police Station, Court House, or Simpson House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Lisa Agree Smart Kids Can't Fight". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Quimby Compound, Police Station, Court House, or Simpson House and takes 4 hours. If Nelson is owned: Task: "Make Nelson Confirm Smart Kids Can't Fight". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Quimby Compound, Police Station, Court House, or Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
Quest reward: 100 and 10 Springfield STEM Academy

Pt. 2[edit]

After completing Pt. 1
	Hey, what about using the army to protect us?
	Dad, we can't keep using the army every time something goes wrong in Springfield.
	Don't we pay those guys a lot?
	I do very well. The rest of the enlisted...um...never mind.
	Your deceptive nature makes me think you've got a future in politics, General.
	Really? There are liars and cheats in politics too?
Task: "Collect Dark Glasses" (x155). Task: "Make Lisa Demand the Army Act". The job takes place at Barracks, Rommelwood Barracks, Fort Sensible, Rommelwood Academy, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Homer Demand to Know What's On the Laptop". The job takes place at Barracks, Rommelwood Barracks, Fort Sensible, Rommelwood Academy, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If The General is owned: Task: "Make The General Make Excuses for the Army". The job takes place at Barracks, Rommelwood Barracks, Fort Sensible, Rommelwood Academy, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
	General, I would think your army would be champing at the bit for some shoot-em-up military action.
	Normally, yes. But we realize it's a lot harder fighting space aliens than illegal aliens.
	That said... there's an immigrant caravan heading for the border now! Army move out!
	Good grief.
Quest reward: 100 and 10 US Army Alien Hunting Helicopter

Pt. 3[edit]

After completing Pt. 2
	I expected more people to show up in church for the end times, not fewer.
	The important ones are here — namely me!
	I don't see why we're barking up Jesus' tree to save us. Has he really ever saved us from anything?
	Hey, relax, ye of little faith! I plan to fight fire with fire!
	That seems out of line with your biblical doctrine...
	Bible? Are people still reading that?
	Only Ned.
	I'll tell ya how I'm going to save the day. Introducing...MMA Jesus!
	Sup?
	Wait, there are two Jesuses now?
	The Holy Ghost wasn't doing anything, so BOOM!
	MMA Jesus is here to save the day!
	This is gonna be awesome.
	Maybe we should've started by praying to God?
	Religion is really confusing.
Task: "Collect Dark Glasses" (x155). Task: "Make Springfielders Despair". The jobs take place at 5 and take Visitable Homes. Task: "Make Ned Ask "What Would Jesus Do?"". The job takes place at the First Church of Springfield or Flanders House and takes 4 hours. If MMA Jesus is owned: Task: "Make MMA Jesus Answer". The job takes place at the First Church of Springfield or Flanders House and takes 4 hours. If Jesus Christ is owned: Task: "Make Jesus Gloat". The job takes place at the First Church of Springfield or Flanders House and takes 4 hours.
Quest reward: 100 and 10 US Military Holding Facility

Pt. 4[edit]

After completing Pt. 3
	C'mon, Jesus! Get in there! Punch and kick and gouge!
	Wait, THIS is your best fighter?
	Whoa. Slow down. I'm just here to get a good seat.
	Here's our fighter. Let me introduce MMA Me!
	Sup?
	MMA Jesus? I'd take ten commandments from him any day!
	This MMA Jesus guy looks tough. Taekwon Dracula, you fight him first.
	Me?! Why me?
	You're our leader. Go lead!
	Ugh, fine. But I gotta ask, WWMMAJD (What Would Mixed Martial Arts Jesus Do)?
	Get ready to be received into the Kingdom of Heaven!
Task: "Collect Dark Glasses" (x155). If Bart is owned: Task: "Make Bart Root For MMA Jesus". The job takes place at the Fancy Wrestling Ring, Backyard Wrestling Ring, Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, Mixed Martial Arts Mega Church, Duff Center Arena, Duff Stadium, Springfield Hyperstadium, Convention Center, or Simpson House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Ned Be Unsure This is What Jesus Would Do". The job takes place at the Fancy Wrestling Ring, Backyard Wrestling Ring, Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, Mixed Martial Arts Mega Church, Duff Center Arena, Duff Stadium, Springfield Hyperstadium, Convention Center, or Simpson House and takes 4 hours. If MMA Jesus is owned: Task: "Make MMA Jesus Challenge Taekwon Dracula". The job takes place at the Fancy Wrestling Ring, Backyard Wrestling Ring, Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, Mixed Martial Arts Mega Church, Duff Center Arena, Duff Stadium, Springfield Hyperstadium, Convention Center, or Simpson House and takes 4 hours. If Taekwon Dracula is owned: Task: "Make Taekwon Dracula Smack Talk Jesus". The job takes place at the Fancy Wrestling Ring, Backyard Wrestling Ring, Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, Mixed Martial Arts Mega Church, Duff Center Arena, Duff Stadium, Springfield Hyperstadium, Convention Center, or Simpson House and takes 4 hours. If Jesus Christ is owned: Task: "Make Jesus Make Sure He Has Good Seats for the Fight". The job takes place at the Fancy Wrestling Ring, Backyard Wrestling Ring, Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, Mixed Martial Arts Mega Church, Duff Center Arena, Duff Stadium, Springfield Hyperstadium, Convention Center, or Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
	It's Taekwon Dracula vs. MMA Jesus fighting for the fate of Springfield!
	Let's get ready to be HUMMMMMBLE!
	Taekwon Dracula and MMA Jesus are already trading blows!
	Taekwon Dracula negates MMA Jesus' ground game by turning into a bat every time Jesus tries to choke him out.
	You're pretty good, Drac, but it's time to end this with my Blood Into Wine move!
	Why isn't anything happening?!
	Looks like MMA Jesus forgot that Taekwon Dracula doesn't have any blood.
	That's right! Now it's time for MY special move!
	Before you do that...have you heard my sermon regarding turning the other cheek?
Quest reward: 100 and 10 Springfield Tire Yard Secret Lair

Pt. 5[edit]

After completing Pt. 4
	It turns out that Taekwon Dracula's special move is just kicking MMA Jesus in the face.
	How much more of this can Jesus take?!
	Not much. Grr-uggghh. passes out
	MMA Me, get up!
	MWAHAHA! Where's your Messiah now?! There's no one left to stop us! Springfield is ours!
	Tell...my Dad...I'm sorry...and...to quit being so hard on his kid.
Task: "Collect Dark Glasses" (x195). If Taekwon Dracula is owned: Task: "Make Taekwon Dracula Kill MMA Jesus". The job takes place at the Fancy Wrestling Ring, Backyard Wrestling Ring, Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, Mixed Martial Arts Mega Church, Duff Center Arena, Duff Stadium, Springfield Hyperstadium, Convention Center, or Simpson House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Ned Be Shocked Dracula Killed Jesus". The job takes place at the Fancy Wrestling Ring, Backyard Wrestling Ring, Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, Mixed Martial Arts Mega Church, Duff Center Arena, Duff Stadium, Springfield Hyperstadium, Convention Center, or Simpson House and takes 4 hours. If Kung Fu Werewolf is owned: Task: "Make Kung Fu Werewolf Celebrate Monster Victory". The job takes place at the Fancy Wrestling Ring, Backyard Wrestling Ring, Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, Mixed Martial Arts Mega Church, Duff Center Arena, Duff Stadium, Springfield Hyperstadium, Convention Center, or Simpson House and takes 4 hours. If MMA Jesus is owned: Task: "Make MMA Jesus Rise From the Dead". The job takes place at the Fancy Wrestling Ring, Backyard Wrestling Ring, Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, Mixed Martial Arts Mega Church, Duff Center Arena, Duff Stadium, Springfield Hyperstadium, Convention Center, or Simpson House and takes 4 hours. If Bart is owned: Task: "Make Bart Be Amazed by MMA Jesus' Resurrection". The job takes place at the Fancy Wrestling Ring, Backyard Wrestling Ring, Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, Mixed Martial Arts Mega Church, Duff Center Arena, Duff Stadium, Springfield Hyperstadium, Convention Center, or Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
	What's this? MMA Jesus has risen from the dead?!
	AW, YEAH! Fear no evil...my rod and my staff will concuss you!
	That's amazing! Who coulda believed that "Jesus saves" stuff before now?
	Not me!
	How can we fight an opponent with that kind of magic?
	Um, not to be a nitpickereeno, but it's not magic, it's the power of the Lord.
	That's right! I cannot be beaten, so give up now, monsters!
	Ugh! Let's get out of here and go back to Planet Ki-Ya.
	That's not happening. You idiots broke our teleporter when you stomped my face for the twentieth time.
	We may have gotten a little out of control with that.
Quest reward: 200 and 20 Monster Hunter Homer

Currency-earning jobs[edit]

Task	Character(s)	Time	Location(s)	Reward
Swipe Dark Sunglasses from the Government	Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Quimby, Wiggum, Skinner	4h	A.T.F. Van, U.S. Capitol Building, Capital City Capitol Building, Marine One, Island Capitol Building, Town Hall, or a Brown House	5, 45
Order Dark Sunglasses Online	Alien Bart, Mighty Oak Leader, Kung Fu Werewolf, Ninja From the Black Lagoon, MMA Jesus	Visitable Homes	8, 70

view • talk • edit • past The Simpsons: Tapped Out Treehouse of Horror XXXIV quests

Encounters of the Not-Very-Spooky Kind • The Horror Happening • Plants vs. Karate • The Monsters Mash • The Human League of Humans • Just Wait Till Next Year • A Special Message From Kang & Kodos • Technically Fixed
Mighty Oak Leader	The Not-Giving-A-Rip Tree
Chainsaw Willie	Back on the Chainsaw Gang
Alien Bart	Now You See Me • Speak No Evil
Monster Hunter Homer	Flame Off
Taekwon Dracula	Drac on Drac Violence
Kung Fu Werewolf	Howl of the Wild
Ninja From the Black Lagoon	Shinobi-Dooby-Doo
Mixed Martial Medusa	Stone-Faced Killer
MMA Jesus	Holy War Throwdown

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Modified on January 3, 2026, at 11:20.