Difference between revisions of "Colonel Homer/Quotes"

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:''Homer has tracked down Lurleen and is trying to get her to cut an album''
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{{TabQ}}
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:'''Homer''': Lurleen, we have got to get your voice on record!
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Dog of Death|Black Widower}}
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:'''Lurleen''': OK Homer, but I should tell you, no man has ever helped me out '' Lurleen puts her arms behind her back and thrusts out her breasts'' without wanting something in return.
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:'''Homer''': Gosh Lurleen. I was going to ask for a glass of water but I feel so guilty now!
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{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Hey! Hey, Lurleen? I gotta say somethin' to ya.
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:''Lurleen laughs as Homer did not get her sexual reference and is being honest in his efforts to aid her musical career''
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{{qf|[[Lurleen]]}} I'm listenin'.
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:'''Lurleen''': Oh Homer! You are just a big sack of sugar!
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{{qf|Homer}} Your song touched me in a way I've never felt before. And which way to the can?
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:'''Homer''': Hey! Oh, wait, sugar! No, that is fine!
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----
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:''[the family listens to Lurleen's song on the radio]''
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{{qf|Homer}} Marge? Whaddya think?
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{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Well, it's nice... but who is this woman?
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{{qf|Homer}} Well, right now she's an out-of-work cocktail waitress, but she's going to be a country music superstar, like, uh... that... jerk in the cowboy hat... and that dead lady.
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{{qf|Marge}} I don't like you hanging around some cocktail waitress!
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{{qf|Homer}} Marge, you make it sound so seamy! All I did was spend the afternoon in her trailer watching her try on some outfits.
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----
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{{qf|Homer}} Don't thank me Lurleen, you should be thanking your brain!
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{{qf|Lurleen}} Oh, Homer, no man has ever been this nice to me without... you know, wantin' somethin' in return.
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{{qf|Homer}} Well, I was gonna ask you for a glass of water, but now I feel kinda guilty about it.
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{{qf|Lurleen}} ''[laughing]'' Homer, you're just a big sack of sugar!
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{{qf|Homer}} Thanks! You did say sugar, right?
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----
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{{qf|Homer}} Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie, and one to listen.
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----
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{{qf|Homer}} Guess what, Lurleen? I got you a gig on TV!
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{{qf|Lurleen}} Oh, Homer! You're as smart as you are handsome!
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{{qf|Homer}} ''[angry]'' Hey! ''[relaxes]'' Oh, you meant that as a compliment.
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----
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{{qf|Marge}} Just so you know, while you and Lurleen were put judging that greased pig contest, [[Maggie]] cut her first tooth.
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{{qf|Homer}} That's great, honey. Say, have you seen my rattlesnake headband?
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{{qf|Marge}} You're not even listening to me.
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{{qf|Homer}} Sure they will!
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----
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{{qf|[[Bart]]}} As much as I hate that man right now, you gotta love that suit.
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----
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{{qf|Homer}} They don't call me Colonel Homer because I'm some dumb-ass Army guy.
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{{Season 3|Q}}

Latest revision as of 02:02, November 12, 2018


Season 3 Episode Quotes
← 054 "Dog of Death"
055
"Colonel Homer"
"Black Widower" 056 →


Homer: Hey! Hey, Lurleen? I gotta say somethin' to ya.
Lurleen: I'm listenin'.
Homer: Your song touched me in a way I've never felt before. And which way to the can?
[the family listens to Lurleen's song on the radio]
Homer: Marge? Whaddya think?
Marge: Well, it's nice... but who is this woman?
Homer: Well, right now she's an out-of-work cocktail waitress, but she's going to be a country music superstar, like, uh... that... jerk in the cowboy hat... and that dead lady.
Marge: I don't like you hanging around some cocktail waitress!
Homer: Marge, you make it sound so seamy! All I did was spend the afternoon in her trailer watching her try on some outfits.
Homer: Don't thank me Lurleen, you should be thanking your brain!
Lurleen: Oh, Homer, no man has ever been this nice to me without... you know, wantin' somethin' in return.
Homer: Well, I was gonna ask you for a glass of water, but now I feel kinda guilty about it.
Lurleen: [laughing] Homer, you're just a big sack of sugar!
Homer: Thanks! You did say sugar, right?
Homer: Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie, and one to listen.
Homer: Guess what, Lurleen? I got you a gig on TV!
Lurleen: Oh, Homer! You're as smart as you are handsome!
Homer: [angry] Hey! [relaxes] Oh, you meant that as a compliment.
Marge: Just so you know, while you and Lurleen were put judging that greased pig contest, Maggie cut her first tooth.
Homer: That's great, honey. Say, have you seen my rattlesnake headband?
Marge: You're not even listening to me.
Homer: Sure they will!
Bart: As much as I hate that man right now, you gotta love that suit.
Homer: They don't call me Colonel Homer because I'm some dumb-ass Army guy.
Season 3 Quotes
Stark Raving Dad • Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington • When Flanders Failed • Bart the Murderer • Homer Defined • Like Father, Like Clown • Treehouse of Horror II • Lisa's Pony • Saturdays of Thunder • Flaming Moe's • Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk • I Married Marge • Radio Bart • Lisa the Greek • Homer Alone • Bart the Lover • Homer at the Bat • Separate Vocations • Dog of Death • Colonel Homer • Black Widower • The Otto Show • Bart's Friend Falls in Love • Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?
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