Difference between revisions of "Into the Woods/Quotes"
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:'''Bart''': Hmmm. I don't remember passing that bear before, do you? | :'''Bart''': Hmmm. I don't remember passing that bear before, do you? | ||
:'''Milhouse''': ''[scared]'' Did you say '''bear'''?!! | :'''Milhouse''': ''[scared]'' Did you say '''bear'''?!! | ||
| + | :'''Bart''' ''and'' '''Milhouse''': AAAHHH! Bear attack!! | ||
:''[They run away screaming. A wider view of the bear, however, reveals that it's actually a statue holding a sign with a no-smoking graphic and a caption reading "Keep your butts out of the forest". Bart and Milhouse, not seeing this, run further into the woods.]'' | :''[They run away screaming. A wider view of the bear, however, reveals that it's actually a statue holding a sign with a no-smoking graphic and a caption reading "Keep your butts out of the forest". Bart and Milhouse, not seeing this, run further into the woods.]'' | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :''[After leaving the "bear" behind, [[Bart]] and [[Milhouse]] take stock of their situation.]'' | ||
| + | :'''Milhouse''': We outran him, Bart! He was ginormous! It must have been a giant grizzly! We're lucky to be alive. | ||
| + | :'''Bart''': Teah, but if we weren't lost before, we're definitely lost now! | ||
| + | :'''Milhouse''': It's getting dark already! We've been gone for hours! I'm starting to feel a giant knot in my stomach! | ||
| + | :'''Bart''': That's because we're slowly starving to death! | ||
| + | :'''Milhouse''': ''[frantically]'' What will we do? Where will we sleep? What will we eat? | ||
| + | :'''Bart''': I don't know. I'm too hungry to think straight. ''[thoughtfully, talking mostly to himself]'' So hungry ... Lisa mentioned how the Donner Party survived by eating each other ... and I've heard stories where sailors cast adrift would draw lots to see who would be killed and eaten ... and then there were those {{w|1972 Andes flight disaster|rugby players whose plane crashed}} in the Andes ... yeah ... | ||
| + | :''[Bart's vision becomes blurry. He starts salivating as he looks at Milhouse.]'' | ||
| + | :'''Bart''': ''[continuing]'' ... It's not just for savage cannibals ... I'll bet it's done all the time ... | ||
| + | :''[In Bart's vision, Milhouse turns into a giant lamb chop. Bart starts drooling and licking his chops.]'' | ||
| + | :'''Milhouse''': Bart? What are you mumbling about? And why are you looking at me like that? | ||
| + | :''[Bart lunges at Milhouse and bites him on the leg. Milhouse screams loudly: "YIIIIIII!"]'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
Revision as of 12:11, September 22, 2012
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- [Bart, Lisa and Milhouse arrive at Kamp Krusty.]
- Lisa: Oh boy! How I love being close to all this nature! It just seems so ... natural!
- Bart: Ah! Kamp Krusty! All this fresh air is really gonna provide an uptick in my usual level of tomfoolery! I can't wait to explore every inch of this place!
- Milhouse: [rummaging through his backpack] I hope my mom packed my allergy medicine.
- [Martin comes out and greets the trio.]
- Martin: Lisa! Delighted to have you here! I'm staging a musical pageant that chronicles the adventures of the pioneers who settled the untamed wild of the Old West. I could really use your help!
- Lisa: Of course! Who doesn't love a historical pageant?!
- Bart: You got my vote. I doesn't.
- Lisa: [ignoring Bart] Tell me all about it, Martin!
- Martin: I've woven a rich tapestry of triumph and travails inspired bu the brutal hardships these brave souls endured.
- Bart: Oh, boo hoo! Some old dudes had "hardships". Who cares?!
- Martin: I care, Bart. I care enough to write a musical review that showcases their heroic struggle!
- Lisa: It sounds fascinating, Martin! You know, the Donner Party got lost on their way to California and resorted to cannibalism in order to survive!
- Bart: Were they too cheap to install GPS on their Conestoga wagons?
- Milhouse: Good one, Bart!
- Lisa: Don't pay any attention to them, Martin. They think "the Old West" is an actor who played Batman on TV. [gives Bart a dirty look] Get lost, Bart!
- Martin: Now, now, Lisa. One must never stoop to the level of the Philistines.
- Bart: C'mon, Milhouse. Let's get away from these dorks and explore the deep woods.
- Milhouse: Well ... Let's be sure to be back in time for lunch, okay? My mom says I'm a real bear when my blood sugar drops! [They leave the camp and head into the woods.]
- [Bart and Milhouse are exploring the woods.]
- Bart: This is what Kamp Krusty is all about, Milhouse! Not watching some prissy pageant about a bunch of losers with no sense of direction.
- Milhouse: Yeah. Stupid pioneers! They make me so angry!
- Bart: Just look at all these awesome trees! Each one different from the next! [after a brief pause] Okay. I've seen enough trees. I'm bored.
- Milhouse: I'm getting hungry. Let's head back to camp, Bart.
- Bart: [looking around] I thought we were heading back.
- Milhouse: [also looking around] Uh, Bart ... None of this looks familiar. I think we're lost.
- Bart: [angry] Yeah. All these idiotic pine trees look the same to me.
- [They keep walking. Bart sees a bear partially visible behind some bushes.]
- Bart: Hmmm. I don't remember passing that bear before, do you?
- Milhouse: [scared] Did you say bear?!!
- Bart and Milhouse: AAAHHH! Bear attack!!
- [They run away screaming. A wider view of the bear, however, reveals that it's actually a statue holding a sign with a no-smoking graphic and a caption reading "Keep your butts out of the forest". Bart and Milhouse, not seeing this, run further into the woods.]
- [After leaving the "bear" behind, Bart and Milhouse take stock of their situation.]
- Milhouse: We outran him, Bart! He was ginormous! It must have been a giant grizzly! We're lucky to be alive.
- Bart: Teah, but if we weren't lost before, we're definitely lost now!
- Milhouse: It's getting dark already! We've been gone for hours! I'm starting to feel a giant knot in my stomach!
- Bart: That's because we're slowly starving to death!
- Milhouse: [frantically] What will we do? Where will we sleep? What will we eat?
- Bart: I don't know. I'm too hungry to think straight. [thoughtfully, talking mostly to himself] So hungry ... Lisa mentioned how the Donner Party survived by eating each other ... and I've heard stories where sailors cast adrift would draw lots to see who would be killed and eaten ... and then there were those rugby players whose plane crashed in the Andes ... yeah ...
- [Bart's vision becomes blurry. He starts salivating as he looks at Milhouse.]
- Bart: [continuing] ... It's not just for savage cannibals ... I'll bet it's done all the time ...
- [In Bart's vision, Milhouse turns into a giant lamb chop. Bart starts drooling and licking his chops.]
- Milhouse: Bart? What are you mumbling about? And why are you looking at me like that?
- [Bart lunges at Milhouse and bites him on the leg. Milhouse screams loudly: "YIIIIIII!"]
