• Wikisimpsons needs more Featured Article, Picture, Quote, Episode and Comprehensive article nominations!
  • Wikisimpsons has a Discord server! Click here for your invite! Join to talk about the wiki, Simpsons and Tapped Out news, or just to talk to other users.
  • Make an account! It's easy, free, and your work on the wiki can be attributed to you.
TwitterFacebookDiscord

Difference between revisions of "Bart the Lover/Quotes"

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
m
m
Line 181: Line 181:
  
 
'''Bart''': It's a date. [he takes her hand, and Mrs. Krabappel walk outside into the sunshine]
 
'''Bart''': It's a date. [he takes her hand, and Mrs. Krabappel walk outside into the sunshine]
----
+
 
 
{{Season 3|Q}}
 
{{Season 3|Q}}

Revision as of 13:37, August 27, 2012


Season 3 Episode Quotes
050 "Homer Alone"
051
"Bart the Lover"
"Homer at the Bat" 052


A depressed Edna Krabappel has ended her work day at Springfield Elementary and is doing errands. She first sees a car mechanic to see why her car is acting up. Mechanic tastes a substance from her gas tank.

Mechanic: Just as I thought, sugar! Your ex-husband has struck again.

Mrs. Krabappel buys goods at Kwik-E-Mart.

Apu: Would you like anything else?

Edna Krabappel: One Scratch & Win, Apu.

Edna Krabappel scratches off lottery ticket at counter.

Apu: So will you remain in teaching?

Edna scratches off ticket to reveal a losing combination of a lemon, a prune, and a cherry.

Edna Krabappel: At least until tomorrow.


Maude: Todd, would you like some mixed vegetables?

Todd: Hell no.

Flanders family gasps

Maude: What did you say?

Todd: I said I don't want any damn vegetables.

Ned: Alright, that is it young man. No Bible stories for you tonight.

Todd runs to his room crying.

Maude: Weren't you a little hard on him?

Ned: Well, you knew I had a temper when you married me.


Jimmy: "Hey, what gives?"

Jimmy's Dad: "You said you wanted to live in a world without zinc Jimmy. Well now your car has no battery."

Jimmy: "But I promised Betty I'd pick her up by 6:00. I better give her a call."

Jimmy's Dad: "Sorry Jimmy. Without zinc for the rotary mechanism, there are no telephones."

Jimmy: "Dear God! What have I done?"

(Jimmy pulls out a gun and points it to his head and fires)

Jimmy's Dad: "Think again Jimmy. You see the firing pin in your gun was made out of…yep…zinc."

Jimmy: "Come back zinc, Come Back!!"


Bart is watching an old-time black & white movie to get inspriration for his love letters.

Frenchman: A million poets working for a thousand years could not succeed at describing even ⅜ of your beauty.

Bart: Whoa! Slow down Frenchy, this stuff is gold!


Woodrow: "Truly, yours is a butt that won't quit."


Ned: "I'm talking about your potty-mouth."

Homer: "What the hell are you talking about?"

Ned: That is it. Your swearing is having a negative influence on my son.

Homer: Oh yeah? The nerve to think you can impose your ways on me! Well, I do not like...your mustache!

Ned: OK, fair is fair. Tell you what. If you get rid of the potty mouth then I will get rid of the soup-strainer. It is a deal!


Homer: Stupid Flanders, telling me I should not swear!

Marge: You know Homer, you have let a lot of colorful idioms fly loose, and I am worried it will be a bad influence on the kids.

Homer: Well, what am I supposed to do about it?

Marge: You could try one thing my parents did. When my father got out of the Navy he cussed a blue streak. So my mother set it up that every time he swore he had to deposit 25¢ into a swear jar. That broke his swearing!


Homer: "Damn crappy nails! Superglue my butt!"


Mrs. Krabappel [after the bell rings and the kids leave]: If anyone wants to learn more about zinc, they're welcome to stay. We can talk about anything. I'll do your homework for ya?


Ned [about Todd]: Is this all he watches?

Maude: Well, he used to watch Davey and Goliath, but he thought the idea of a talking dog was blasphemous.


Groundskeeper Willy: Don't you worry about your wee fish, lass. They're goin' to a better place. (flushes them down the toilet)


Mrs. Krabappel [reading] After two months at sea, the Pilgrims were running out of food and water. [Nelson raises his hand] Yes, Nelson.

Nelson: Did they have any have yo-yo's?

Mrs. Krabappel: No, they did not have yo-yo's. [continues reading] When they landed at Plymouth Rock, they were greeted by the friendly Wampanog Indians.

Milhouse: [raises his hand] Did the Indians have yo-yo's?

Mrs. Krabappel: No, they did not have yo-yo's! [slams book closed] That's it! [slams book onto her desk] I am getting sick and tired of talking about yo-yo's. From now on, I will not accept any book reports, science projects, dioramas, or anything else on yo-yo's or yo-yo-related topics. Am I making myself clear?

Bart: Yo!


Bart: Gross, he's picking his nose!


"Woodrow": Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why, I cannot say. Where, you cannot know. How I will get there, I haven't decided yet. But one thing I can tell you, any time I hear the wind blow it will whisper the name Edna. And so let us part with a love that will echo through the ages. ---Woodrow


Marge: I bet we could buy a nice doghouse for $50.

Homer: [sigh] Marge, you're a tool of doghouse makers.

Marge: I am not!

Homer: Yes, you are. You've been brainwashed by all those doghouse commercials on TV.


Ned: Sorry to bother you, Reverend Lovejoy, but I'm kind of in a tizzy. My son Todd just told us he didn't want to eat his damn vegetables.

Rev. Lovejoy: Well, you know kids and vegetables. What was it, asparagus?

Ned: No, Reverend, the point is, he said a bad word!

Rev. Lovejoy: Oh, right, yeah. Well, kids usually pick these things stuff up from someplace. Find out who's doing it and…direct them to the Bible.

Ned: Where in the Bible?

Rev. Lovejoy: Uh…Page 900.

Ned: But Rev--

Rev. Lovejoy [hangs up; looks down at his melted dessert]: Damn Flanders.


Bart: Hey, Lis. A moment of your time.

Lisa: [stops playing her sax] Yeah?

Bart: Suppose I was writing my second letter to a girl, and I already used up my A-material. What should I say?

Lisa: [teases] Ooooh, could it be there's a special someone you're not telling me about? [puts down her sax and bats her eyelashes coyly]

Bart: Oh, please.

Lisa: Is it Sherri?

Bart: No.

Lisa: Is it Terri?

Bart: No!

Lisa: Is it that girl with the lazy eyepatch?

Bart: No!

Lisa: Is it that exchange student, M!pa?

Bart: No!! It's not for me. It's... homework.

Lisa: Sure it is. Hey Bart, [teasing, makes goo-goo eyes] let's do some homework! [puckers up]

Bart: [fed up, he pushes Lisa aside]


Bart: I can't help but feel partly responsible.


Ms. Krabappel: Bart, you're the closest thing to a man in my life. And that's so depressing, I think I'm going to cry. [cries]


Homer: Boy, you've got to go to your teacher and tell her the truth!

Marge: No, Homer, the truth will humiliate her!

Homer: Oh, Marge, I only said it because I thought that's what you wanted to hear!


Bart: How about, ``Crocodiles bit off my face."

Marge: That's disgusting! And besides, when a woman loves a man, it doesn't matter that a crocodiles bit off his face.

Homer: I may hold you to that, Marge.


Homer: 3 simple words: I am gay.


Mrs. Krabappel: It's such a nice day today, let's have detention outside.

Bart: It's a date. [he takes her hand, and Mrs. Krabappel walk outside into the sunshine]

Season 3 Quotes
Stark Raving Dad Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington When Flanders Failed Bart the Murderer Homer Defined Like Father, Like Clown Treehouse of Horror II Lisa's Pony Saturdays of Thunder Flaming Moe's Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk I Married Marge Radio Bart Lisa the Greek Homer Alone Bart the Lover Homer at the Bat Separate Vocations Dog of Death Colonel Homer Black Widower The Otto Show Bart's Friend Falls in Love Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?