Difference between revisions of "Treehouse of Horror VII/Quotes"
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|episode=Treehouse of Horror VII | |episode=Treehouse of Horror VII | ||
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| − | (Talking to | + | (Talking to the girl in "The Genesis Tub") |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Boy:''' Hey what is this goo? Are you trying to build a friend? |
---- | ---- | ||
(From "The Genesis Tub") | (From "The Genesis Tub") | ||
| − | :'''Principal | + | :'''Principal''': This mini universe you've created is even more impressive then Martin's milk carton ukulele. |
| − | (Shot of | + | (Shot of the kid background in a grass skirt playing the ukulele.) |
---- | ---- | ||
(From "The Thing and I") | (From "The Thing and I") | ||
| − | :''' | + | :'''Doctor''': That means the evil twin is and always has been...Bart. |
| − | (They all turn around and stare at | + | (They all turn around and stare at the boy.) |
| − | + | Boy: Oh, don't look so shocked. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | : | + | |
| + | |||
| + | :Alien 2: (as Clinton) We must go forward, not backward. Upward, not forward. And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | : | + | :Alien 2: It's a two party system! You have to vote for one of us! |
:'''Man''': He's right, this is a two-party system. | :'''Man''': He's right, this is a two-party system. | ||
:'''Man 2''': Well, I believe I'll vote for a third-party candidate. | :'''Man 2''': Well, I believe I'll vote for a third-party candidate. | ||
| − | :''' | + | :'''Alien''': Go ahead, throw your vote away. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | : | + | :Dad: Ah… The old fishin' hole. So peaceful and relaxing, doesn't even matter if I catch a single fish… come on, you stupid fish! Take the bait! Don't make me come down there!!! |
---- | ---- | ||
:'''Leader''': Welcome to our world, most gracious Lisa. | :'''Leader''': Welcome to our world, most gracious Lisa. | ||
| − | :''' | + | :'''Girl''': Your world is incredible. And you speak English. |
:'''Leader''': We have listened to you speak since the dawn of time, O Creator. And we have learned to imatoot you exarktly. | :'''Leader''': We have listened to you speak since the dawn of time, O Creator. And we have learned to imatoot you exarktly. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | : | + | :Dad: We think we saw Hugo at the airport; he was boarding a plane to Switzerland and… (sees the boy) Oh. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''' | + | :'''Girl''': What's up there? |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Boy''': Is it a monster? |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Girl''': We have to know. |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Boy''': Tell us what's the secret. |
| − | : | + | :Dad: No more questions. I work my butt off to feed you four kids and all you do is-- |
| − | ( | + | (Mom stares at Dad.) |
| − | : | + | :Dad: What? |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Mom''': Three, we have three children! |
| − | : | + | :Dad: Yeah, three nosy kids. And you know what happens to nosy kids who ask too many questions? |
| − | : | + | :Kids: (talking quickly) No, what? Does something happen? Does something happen to nosy kids who ask questions? What happening? Anchorman: Senator, why should people vote for you instead of President Clinton? |
| + | :Alien: (as Dole) It makes no difference which one of us you vote for. Either way, your planet is doomed. DOOMED! | ||
| + | :Anchorman: Well, a refreshingly frank response there from senator Bob Dole. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | : | + | :Dad: Oh my God, space aliens! Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids! Eat them! |
| − | |||
| − | |||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''' | + | |
| + | |||
| + | :'''Boy''': Your micro-jerks attacked me! | ||
| + | :'''Girl''': Well, you practically destroyed their whole world. | ||
| + | :'''Boy''': You can't protect them every second. Sooner or later, you'll let your guard down, and then flush! It's toilet time for Tinytown! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :' | + | :Girl: Oh my God! I've created life! |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Mom''': (from downstairs) Lisa, breakfast! We're having waffles! |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Girl''': Ooh, waffles. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''' | + | :'''Boy''': You're crazy! |
| − | :''' | + | :Evil Boy: Am I? Well, perhaps we're all a little crazy. I know I am. I went mad after they tore us apart, but I'll be sane… once I sew us back together. |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Boy''': But you'll kill both of us. |
| + | :'''Evil Boy''': No, it's easy. Look, I've been practicing: I made a pigeon-rat. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | ||
| − | + | ||
| − | :''' | + | :'''Boy''': Did you guys hear something moving around in the attic last night? |
| − | : | + | :Dad: Attic? Oh, that's silly. Seriously though, don't ever go up there. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''' | + | :'''Alien''': (as Dole) Fooling these Earth voters is easier than expected. |
| − | : | + | :Alien 2: (as Clinton) Yes. All they want to hear are bland pleasantries embellished by an occasional saxophone solo or infant kiss. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''' | + | :'''Alien''': (as Bob Dole) Abortions for all! |
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
(Crowd boos) | (Crowd boos) | ||
| − | :''' | + | :'''Alien''': Very well, no abortions for anyone! |
(Crowd boos again) | (Crowd boos again) | ||
| − | :'' | + | :''Alien: Hmm... Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!'' |
(Crowd cheers and waves miniature flags.) | (Crowd cheers and waves miniature flags.) | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | : | + | :Dad: Oh, no! Aliens, bio-duplication, nude conspiracies! Oh my God! Lyndon LaRouche was right! |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | : | + | :Dad: (Gulps) I suppose you want to probe me. Well, might as well get it over with. (Starts to unzip his pants) |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Alien''': Stop! We have reached the limits of what rectal probing can teach us. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''' | + | :'''Girl''': Wait, one of them is nailing something to the door of the cathedral. (Gasps) I've created Lutherans! |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''' | + | :'''Girl''': Science has already proven the dangers of smoking, alcohol, and Chinese food. But I can still ruin soft drinks for everyone! |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | : | + | :Dad: We'll search out every place a sick twisted solitary misfit might run to. |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Girl''': I'll start with Radio Shack. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''' | + | :'''Doctor''' But what to do with poor Hugo? Too crazy for Boys Town, too much of a boy for Crazy Town. The child was an outcast. So, we did the only humane thing. |
| − | : | + | :Dad: We chained Hugo up in the attic like an animal and fed him a bucket of fish heads once a week. |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Mom''': It's saved our marriage. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''' | + | :'''Girl''': (Upon waking up and seeing her tooth.) Mold! That's science project paydirt! |
---- | ---- | ||
(From The Thing and I) | (From The Thing and I) | ||
| − | :''' | + | :'''Doctor''': You never forget the birth of Siamese twins! |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Girl''': I believe they prefer to be called "Conjoined twins." |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Doctor''': And hillbillies want to be called "Sons of the Soil," but it ain't gonna happen. (Laughs) |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | : | + | :Alien 2: (as Clinton) I am Clin-ton. As overlord, all will kneel trembling before me and obey my brutal command. End communication. (crosses arms) |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | : | + | :Dad: What are you spraying me with? |
| − | : | + | :Alien: Rum! So no one will believe your story. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''' | + | :'''Aide''': (closely resembling George Stephanopoulos) People are becoming a bit confused by the way you and your opponent are… well… constantly holding hands. |
| − | : | + | :Alien: (as Dole) We are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way, I'd like to hear it. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''' | + | :'''Mom''': (on phone, gravely) Yes, Doctor, it's what we've always feared -- it's loose. Hugo is loose. (cheerfully) See you soon! |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''' | + | :'''Senator''': (captive on the alien saucer) I am so mad at the Secret Service right now. |
---- | ---- | ||
(From "The Genesis Tub") | (From "The Genesis Tub") | ||
| − | :''' | + | :'''Girl''': Oh, great. I'm stuck in this lousy tub for the rest of my life. |
(People stare at her) | (People stare at her) | ||
| − | :''' | + | :'''Girl''': Shouldn't you people be groveling? |
(Everyone starts groveling) | (Everyone starts groveling) | ||
| − | :''' | + | :'''Girl''': And bring me some shoes. Nice ones. |
:'''Man''': She'll want socks, too. I'll get socks. | :'''Man''': She'll want socks, too. I'll get socks. | ||
{{Season 8 Q}} | {{Season 8 Q}} | ||
Revision as of 05:32, July 25, 2010
(Talking to the girl in "The Genesis Tub")
- Boy: Hey what is this goo? Are you trying to build a friend?
(From "The Genesis Tub")
- Principal: This mini universe you've created is even more impressive then Martin's milk carton ukulele.
(Shot of the kid background in a grass skirt playing the ukulele.)
(From "The Thing and I")
- Doctor: That means the evil twin is and always has been...Bart.
(They all turn around and stare at the boy.) Boy: Oh, don't look so shocked.
- Alien 2: (as Clinton) We must go forward, not backward. Upward, not forward. And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.
- Alien 2: It's a two party system! You have to vote for one of us!
- Man: He's right, this is a two-party system.
- Man 2: Well, I believe I'll vote for a third-party candidate.
- Alien: Go ahead, throw your vote away.
- Dad: Ah… The old fishin' hole. So peaceful and relaxing, doesn't even matter if I catch a single fish… come on, you stupid fish! Take the bait! Don't make me come down there!!!
- Leader: Welcome to our world, most gracious Lisa.
- Girl: Your world is incredible. And you speak English.
- Leader: We have listened to you speak since the dawn of time, O Creator. And we have learned to imatoot you exarktly.
- Dad: We think we saw Hugo at the airport; he was boarding a plane to Switzerland and… (sees the boy) Oh.
- Girl: What's up there?
- Boy: Is it a monster?
- Girl: We have to know.
- Boy: Tell us what's the secret.
- Dad: No more questions. I work my butt off to feed you four kids and all you do is--
(Mom stares at Dad.)
- Dad: What?
- Mom: Three, we have three children!
- Dad: Yeah, three nosy kids. And you know what happens to nosy kids who ask too many questions?
- Kids: (talking quickly) No, what? Does something happen? Does something happen to nosy kids who ask questions? What happening? Anchorman: Senator, why should people vote for you instead of President Clinton?
- Alien: (as Dole) It makes no difference which one of us you vote for. Either way, your planet is doomed. DOOMED!
- Anchorman: Well, a refreshingly frank response there from senator Bob Dole.
- Dad: Oh my God, space aliens! Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids! Eat them!
- Boy: Your micro-jerks attacked me!
- Girl: Well, you practically destroyed their whole world.
- Boy: You can't protect them every second. Sooner or later, you'll let your guard down, and then flush! It's toilet time for Tinytown!
- Girl: Oh my God! I've created life!
- Mom: (from downstairs) Lisa, breakfast! We're having waffles!
- Girl: Ooh, waffles.
- Boy: You're crazy!
- Evil Boy: Am I? Well, perhaps we're all a little crazy. I know I am. I went mad after they tore us apart, but I'll be sane… once I sew us back together.
- Boy: But you'll kill both of us.
- Evil Boy: No, it's easy. Look, I've been practicing: I made a pigeon-rat.
- Boy: Did you guys hear something moving around in the attic last night?
- Dad: Attic? Oh, that's silly. Seriously though, don't ever go up there.
- Alien: (as Dole) Fooling these Earth voters is easier than expected.
- Alien 2: (as Clinton) Yes. All they want to hear are bland pleasantries embellished by an occasional saxophone solo or infant kiss.
- Alien: (as Bob Dole) Abortions for all!
(Crowd boos)
- Alien: Very well, no abortions for anyone!
(Crowd boos again)
- Alien: Hmm... Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!
(Crowd cheers and waves miniature flags.)
- Dad: Oh, no! Aliens, bio-duplication, nude conspiracies! Oh my God! Lyndon LaRouche was right!
- Dad: (Gulps) I suppose you want to probe me. Well, might as well get it over with. (Starts to unzip his pants)
- Alien: Stop! We have reached the limits of what rectal probing can teach us.
- Girl: Wait, one of them is nailing something to the door of the cathedral. (Gasps) I've created Lutherans!
- Girl: Science has already proven the dangers of smoking, alcohol, and Chinese food. But I can still ruin soft drinks for everyone!
- Dad: We'll search out every place a sick twisted solitary misfit might run to.
- Girl: I'll start with Radio Shack.
- Doctor But what to do with poor Hugo? Too crazy for Boys Town, too much of a boy for Crazy Town. The child was an outcast. So, we did the only humane thing.
- Dad: We chained Hugo up in the attic like an animal and fed him a bucket of fish heads once a week.
- Mom: It's saved our marriage.
- Girl: (Upon waking up and seeing her tooth.) Mold! That's science project paydirt!
(From The Thing and I)
- Doctor: You never forget the birth of Siamese twins!
- Girl: I believe they prefer to be called "Conjoined twins."
- Doctor: And hillbillies want to be called "Sons of the Soil," but it ain't gonna happen. (Laughs)
- Alien 2: (as Clinton) I am Clin-ton. As overlord, all will kneel trembling before me and obey my brutal command. End communication. (crosses arms)
- Dad: What are you spraying me with?
- Alien: Rum! So no one will believe your story.
- Aide: (closely resembling George Stephanopoulos) People are becoming a bit confused by the way you and your opponent are… well… constantly holding hands.
- Alien: (as Dole) We are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way, I'd like to hear it.
- Mom: (on phone, gravely) Yes, Doctor, it's what we've always feared -- it's loose. Hugo is loose. (cheerfully) See you soon!
- Senator: (captive on the alien saucer) I am so mad at the Secret Service right now.
(From "The Genesis Tub")
- Girl: Oh, great. I'm stuck in this lousy tub for the rest of my life.
(People stare at her)
- Girl: Shouldn't you people be groveling?
(Everyone starts groveling)
- Girl: And bring me some shoes. Nice ones.
- Man: She'll want socks, too. I'll get socks.
