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[[File:Comic Book Guy.png|140px|right|link=Comic Book Guy]]
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[[File:Bart's guilt.png|150px|left|link=Bart's guilt]]
  
'''Jeffrey "Jeff" Albertson''', better known as '''Comic Book Guy''', is the overweight, geeky proprietor of the comic book store, [[The Android's Dungeon]].
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'''Bart's guilt''' is a manifestation of [[Bart]]'s guilt.
  
Comic Book Guy is a very obese, socially incompetent, unshaven, cruel man who is perhaps best known for his sarcastic quips. He holds a master's degree in folklore and mythology (he translated ''The Lord of the Rings'' into Klingon as part of his thesis). He exhibits geeky behaviour to an extraordinary and deliberately unrealistic degree, and often also makes references to obscure subjects or internet culture. His catchphrase is the declaration,"Worst... (episode)... ever". He states that he is a 45 year-old virgin who lives with his mother. His obesity is referenced in ''[[The Simpsons: Hit & Run]]'', where he can be used as a driver. One of his replies is that he might as well pick the player up, since he can't fit into his office chair anymore.
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When [[Bart]] became jealous of the attention [[Lisa]] was getting after she got a new hat, which she affectionately named "[[Sunny]]", Bart threw the hat out of the car window while Lisa was sleeping and into a scrapyard. That night, Bart's guilt appeared to him. Bart was adamant that he didn't feel guilty about throwing away Lisa's hat, and Bart's denial also showed up to protect him, but Bart's guilt snapped his denial's neck. Later, Bart woke up in the night to find that his guilt was still there. Bart told his guilt that he looked worse, and Bart's guilt told him that Bart's lack of remorse made him grow. Bart's guilt then got bigger and greener, scaring Bart. However, Bart still tried to take it in stride, telling his guilt that he liked gross things when his guilt ate his pillow and spat it out covered in green goop, and enjoyed being eaten and pooped out by his guilt too.
  
Appropriate to his name, Comic Book Guy is obsessed with comic books, pop culture and science fiction. Comic Book Guy has a bumper sticker that reads "My Other Car Is The Millennium Falcon," given to him by a Harrison Ford lookalike. The license plate on his AMC Gremlin is NCC-1701, the registry number of ''Star Trek's'' ''USS Enterprise''.
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The next morning, Bart's guilt had grown even bigger. Bart lied to his family, telling them that he had slept well. [[Marge]] then asked if he had seen Lisa's hat, and Bart's guilt grew again. Bart told Marge that he didn't remember Lisa having a hat, causing his guilt to grow even more. Bart's guilt then blew his nose on the kitchen curtains and cooked his hand in the waffle maker...
  
Comic Book Guy is the owner of The [[Android's Dungeon]], a local comic book store. Many of the comics and toys he sells are of very poor-quality, and often sell for very high prices. His store is his sanctuary, where he holds some level of self-esteem, imperiously lording over pre-teen kids, like [[Bart Simpson]] and [[Milhouse Van Houten]], using a heavily sarcastic tone. When he was the target of mockery while trying to return the Ultimate Belt, he sighed, "I must get back to my comic book store, where I ''dispense'' the insults rather than ''absorb'' them"...
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Latest revision as of 09:57, July 1, 2026

Bart's guilt.png

Bart's guilt is a manifestation of Bart's guilt.

When Bart became jealous of the attention Lisa was getting after she got a new hat, which she affectionately named "Sunny", Bart threw the hat out of the car window while Lisa was sleeping and into a scrapyard. That night, Bart's guilt appeared to him. Bart was adamant that he didn't feel guilty about throwing away Lisa's hat, and Bart's denial also showed up to protect him, but Bart's guilt snapped his denial's neck. Later, Bart woke up in the night to find that his guilt was still there. Bart told his guilt that he looked worse, and Bart's guilt told him that Bart's lack of remorse made him grow. Bart's guilt then got bigger and greener, scaring Bart. However, Bart still tried to take it in stride, telling his guilt that he liked gross things when his guilt ate his pillow and spat it out covered in green goop, and enjoyed being eaten and pooped out by his guilt too.

The next morning, Bart's guilt had grown even bigger. Bart lied to his family, telling them that he had slept well. Marge then asked if he had seen Lisa's hat, and Bart's guilt grew again. Bart told Marge that he didn't remember Lisa having a hat, causing his guilt to grow even more. Bart's guilt then blew his nose on the kitchen curtains and cooked his hand in the waffle maker...

Read more of this article | More featured articles | Vote for a featured article