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[[File:Artie Ziff.png|135px|left|link=Artie Ziff]]
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[[File:Bart's guilt.png|150px|left|link=Bart's guilt]]
  
'''Artie Ziff''' was [[Marge Simpson]]'s high school prom date and former billionaire.
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'''Bart's guilt''' is a manifestation of [[Bart]]'s guilt.
  
Artie is very confident yet nerdy, self-centered and pretentious, believing himself to be the best at everything - he said that it "would damage the town" if Marge told people about his "busy hands", and once imagined a can-can chorus and audience made up entirely of himself. He is Jewish, and once commented that if people don't like him it's because they're Anti-Semitic. He holds a deep obsession over Marge, and has done so since high school: His appearances mainly revolve around his plans to seduce her away from [[Homer]], with the exception of his final encounter with the Simpson family.
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When [[Bart]] became jealous of the attention [[Lisa]] was getting after she got a new hat, which she affectionately named "[[Sunny]]", Bart threw the hat out of the car window while Lisa was sleeping and into a scrapyard. That night, Bart's guilt appeared to him. Bart was adamant that he didn't feel guilty about throwing away Lisa's hat, and Bart's denial also showed up to protect him, but Bart's guilt snapped his denial's neck. Later, Bart woke up in the night to find that his guilt was still there. Bart told his guilt that he looked worse, and Bart's guilt told him that Bart's lack of remorse made him grow. Bart's guilt then got bigger and greener, scaring Bart. However, Bart still tried to take it in stride, telling his guilt that he liked gross things when his guilt ate his pillow and spat it out covered in green goop, and enjoyed being eaten and pooped out by his guilt too.
  
Artie was a student at [[Springfield High School]]. He was a member of the school Debate Team (where Homer mooned him for rebuttal), and at the end of the year took Marge to the prom. He ruined a wonderful evening with his "busy hands" in the back of his car, his urges resulting in the shoulder strap of Marge's dress being torn, followed by a slap to the face and a swift end to their date. He drove Marge home.
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The next morning, Bart's guilt had grown even bigger. Bart lied to his family, telling them that he had slept well. [[Marge]] then asked if he had seen Lisa's hat, and Bart's guilt grew again. Bart told Marge that he didn't remember Lisa having a hat, causing his guilt to grow even more. Bart's guilt then blew his nose on the kitchen curtains and cooked his hand in the waffle maker...
  
Many years later, Artie was revealed to have become a software billionaire, becoming the fifth richest man in the country. His wealth came from a device that transformed {{w|Modem|modem}} noise into easy listening music. Despite his riches, Artie's life was not complete: He lived alone, and the collection of Marge-resembling art around his mansion showed that he never got over Marge's rejecting him on prom night...
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Latest revision as of 09:57, July 1, 2026

Bart's guilt.png

Bart's guilt is a manifestation of Bart's guilt.

When Bart became jealous of the attention Lisa was getting after she got a new hat, which she affectionately named "Sunny", Bart threw the hat out of the car window while Lisa was sleeping and into a scrapyard. That night, Bart's guilt appeared to him. Bart was adamant that he didn't feel guilty about throwing away Lisa's hat, and Bart's denial also showed up to protect him, but Bart's guilt snapped his denial's neck. Later, Bart woke up in the night to find that his guilt was still there. Bart told his guilt that he looked worse, and Bart's guilt told him that Bart's lack of remorse made him grow. Bart's guilt then got bigger and greener, scaring Bart. However, Bart still tried to take it in stride, telling his guilt that he liked gross things when his guilt ate his pillow and spat it out covered in green goop, and enjoyed being eaten and pooped out by his guilt too.

The next morning, Bart's guilt had grown even bigger. Bart lied to his family, telling them that he had slept well. Marge then asked if he had seen Lisa's hat, and Bart's guilt grew again. Bart told Marge that he didn't remember Lisa having a hat, causing his guilt to grow even more. Bart's guilt then blew his nose on the kitchen curtains and cooked his hand in the waffle maker...

Read more of this article | More featured articles | Vote for a featured article