Difference between revisions of "The Perplexing Puzzle of the Springfield Puma/Quotes"
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| − | + | {{qf|[[Principal Skinner]]}} Hurry up with that concertina wire, Willie -- I want our mascot safe while I'm away at the principals' convention! -- And get that light out of my face! | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Groundskeeper Willie]]}} I'll tell ye where ye can string this bit o' wire, ye lace-wearin' bottle baby! | |
| − | |||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Principal Skinner}} How goes our little experiment in preemptive punishment, Ms. Krabappel? | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Edna Krabappel]]}} I'm not sure who it's punishing more -- Bart or me. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Principal Skinner}} Good, good. Carry on. | |
| − | |||
| − | |||
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Principal Skinner}} ''[thinking]'' I've worked for years to bring order to this school, and it's finally going to pay off! If there's any justice in this world, when that award is handed out tomorrow, it'll have Seymour J. Skinner inscribed on it! And yet, on my own campus, I'm surrounded by treachery! Willie -- Ms. Krabappel -- even that toadying little sycophant Martin Prince seemed a trifle insolent today! Accustomed as I am to the loneliness of command, I still long for a reliable confidant -- but who? Wait! There is one man -- | |
| − | + | {{qf|Principal Skinner}} -- Honest Abe Linkletter! You were principal during the darkest days of our school's history -- when the southern suburbs tried to secede from our united school district! I need your guidance now! I -- What am I doing! I'm talking to an inanimate object -- -- as if this painting could speak to me! I'm alone -- I have no one to turn to -- -- except [[Agnes Skinner|Mother]], of course! I guess I've done all one man can do. May the proud puma spirit protect this fair institution during my absence. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Honest Abe Linkletter]]}} What in tarnation was that about? | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Shady George Wilkinson]]}} I dunno, Abe... I think Ol' Spanky is losing it! | |
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Otto Mann]]}} Whoa! Why's everybody outside?! Maybe somebody phoned in a bomb threat! | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Bart]]}} But I didn't -- er, I mean, I don't know anything about it! | |
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Edna Krabappel}} Well, boys -- ready to talk... ...or do I have Willie play "Amazing Grace" again? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Bart and [[Milhouse]]}} Yaaaah! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Bart}} No! Stop! I'll tell you everything you want to know! The place where we hid the puma is... | |
| − | + | ---- | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Wendell Borton]]}} Hey, you! | |
| + | {{qf|Bart}} Huh? Wendell! What th -- ?! | ||
| + | {{qf|Wendell}} The fat boy wants to see ya, pal -- yer comin' wit' me! | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} Says who -- ?! [ULP!] | ||
| + | {{qf|Wendell}} Says my pal Roscoe here! Make up yer mind quick -- my trigger finger's gettin' itchy! | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} Oh, man! The cheaper the crook, the gaudier the patter -- whatever that means! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} Lisa, this is your only brother talking. I'm in trouble and I need your help! Please? | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Wow. Raw, emotional honesty -- the one ploy you haven't overused! You even said the magic word! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} Bart isn't the only suspect here, Ms. Krabappel. | ||
| + | {{qf|Edna Krabappel}} Well, which one of these hooligans was it, then? | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} It could be any of them, or none of them. It could even have been... ...you, Ms. Krabappel! | ||
| + | |||
{{DEFAULTSORT:Perplexing Puzzle of the Springfield Puma/Quotes, The}} | {{DEFAULTSORT:Perplexing Puzzle of the Springfield Puma/Quotes, The}} | ||
| − | + | [[Category:Simpsons Comics stories quotes]] | |
| − | |||
Latest revision as of 18:29, May 18, 2026
- Principal Skinner: Hurry up with that concertina wire, Willie -- I want our mascot safe while I'm away at the principals' convention! -- And get that light out of my face!
- Groundskeeper Willie: I'll tell ye where ye can string this bit o' wire, ye lace-wearin' bottle baby!
- Principal Skinner: How goes our little experiment in preemptive punishment, Ms. Krabappel?
- Edna Krabappel: I'm not sure who it's punishing more -- Bart or me.
- Principal Skinner: Good, good. Carry on.
- Principal Skinner: [thinking] I've worked for years to bring order to this school, and it's finally going to pay off! If there's any justice in this world, when that award is handed out tomorrow, it'll have Seymour J. Skinner inscribed on it! And yet, on my own campus, I'm surrounded by treachery! Willie -- Ms. Krabappel -- even that toadying little sycophant Martin Prince seemed a trifle insolent today! Accustomed as I am to the loneliness of command, I still long for a reliable confidant -- but who? Wait! There is one man --
- Principal Skinner: -- Honest Abe Linkletter! You were principal during the darkest days of our school's history -- when the southern suburbs tried to secede from our united school district! I need your guidance now! I -- What am I doing! I'm talking to an inanimate object -- -- as if this painting could speak to me! I'm alone -- I have no one to turn to -- -- except Mother, of course! I guess I've done all one man can do. May the proud puma spirit protect this fair institution during my absence.
- Honest Abe Linkletter: What in tarnation was that about?
- Shady George Wilkinson: I dunno, Abe... I think Ol' Spanky is losing it!
- Otto Mann: Whoa! Why's everybody outside?! Maybe somebody phoned in a bomb threat!
- Bart: But I didn't -- er, I mean, I don't know anything about it!
- Edna Krabappel: Well, boys -- ready to talk... ...or do I have Willie play "Amazing Grace" again?
- Bart and Milhouse: Yaaaah!
- Bart: No! Stop! I'll tell you everything you want to know! The place where we hid the puma is...
- Wendell Borton: Hey, you!
- Bart: Huh? Wendell! What th -- ?!
- Wendell: The fat boy wants to see ya, pal -- yer comin' wit' me!
- Bart: Says who -- ?! [ULP!]
- Wendell: Says my pal Roscoe here! Make up yer mind quick -- my trigger finger's gettin' itchy!
- Bart: Oh, man! The cheaper the crook, the gaudier the patter -- whatever that means!
- Bart: Lisa, this is your only brother talking. I'm in trouble and I need your help! Please?
- Lisa: Wow. Raw, emotional honesty -- the one ploy you haven't overused! You even said the magic word!
- Lisa: Bart isn't the only suspect here, Ms. Krabappel.
- Edna Krabappel: Well, which one of these hooligans was it, then?
- Lisa: It could be any of them, or none of them. It could even have been... ...you, Ms. Krabappel!
