Difference between revisions of "Better Fighting Through Science"

Latest revision as of 16:11, June 24, 2025

Better Fighting Through Science

Tapped Out Quest Information Level: 15 Update: Treehouse of Horror XXXII Required characters: Lisa, Homer Optional characters: Professor Frink, Hank Scorpio, Sentient Lard Lad Statue, Grampasaurus, Marge, Bart, Maggie, Bionaut Marge, See Currency-earning jobs Internal name(s): BetterFightingThroughScience ID(s): 249016 - 249020 Previous quest(s): Everyone Old Is Old Again Next quest(s): American Holiday

Better Fighting Through Science is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Treehouse of Horror XXXII content update.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

Between November 2, 2021 and November 10, 2021 Mad science has failed and dinosaurs are still terrorizing our town. Can we please try some real science for a change? Lisa is correct. Real science is cool...well, not cool but it's worth a try! What sort of real science are we talking about? We can engineer a retrovirus that would— Oo, lasers! Lime green lasers! *chants* LASERS! LASERS! LASERS! Lasers it is! Task: "Collect Syringes" (x155). Task: "Capture Dinosaurs" (x15). Task: "Make Lisa Make a Plea for Compassionate Science". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Front Gate, or a Visitable Home and takes 2 hours. If Professor Frink is owned: Task: "Make Frink Suggest Lasers". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Front Gate, or a Visitable Home and takes 2 hours. Task: "Make Homer Chant "LASERS! LASERS!"". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Front Gate, or a Visitable Home and takes 2 hours. Where do we get a laser big enough to barbecue dinosaurs? You know the peace beacon atop City Hall — the symbol of hope for all mankind? It also transforms into a giant, deadly laser. So we're just going to blast dinosaurs with a peace laser? Great glayvin, no! That would be inhumane. I've retrofit it with experimental technology that we can aim at the city's advertising mascots to make them sentient so THEY can do the dinosaur killing. *sigh* And we're back to mad science. Quest reward: 100 and 10 Peace Marker Ray Gun

Pt. 2[edit]

After completing Pt. 1 When do we get to see fighting from these robot... signs... whatever they are? I'm having a problem adjusting the anti-photonic— Blah-blibbity-blah! Just make it work! Maybe I could be of some assistance. I dabble in experimental technologies. Hank Scorpio? But you're an actual supervillain! You think I'm super? You flatter me. Scorpio was part of the team that made the dinosaur hybrids in the first place. I'm sure his insights will prove useful. Great, let's trust the people who got us into this mess to get us out of this mess. You heard the eight-year old! Continue with the sciencing, gentlemen. We're all counting on you! *moans* I really wanted to see dinosaurs get zapped with lasers. Task: "Collect Syringes" (x115). Task: "Capture Dinosaurs" (x15). If Professor Frink is owned: Task: "Make Frink Bring Advertising Signs to Life". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Front Gate, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Hank Scorpio is owned: Task: "Make Hank Scorpio Help Bring Advertising Signs to Life". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Front Gate, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Sentient Lard Lad Statue is owned: Task: "Make Sentient Lard Lad Statue Agree to Fight Dinos". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Front Gate, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Homer Be Disappointed the Dinos Won't Be Zapped". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Front Gate, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. *groans* Finally I can stretch. This donut weighs a ton. And who holds a donut over their head like this anyway? Wow! You're very large and complain-y. Has anyone explained the situation to you and your fellow advertising signs? Something about fighting rampaging dinosaurs? Exactly. Are you up for it? Eh, why not. Beats just standing around smiling. Quest reward: 100 and 10 Sentient Red Devil Realty Sign

Pt. 3[edit]

After completing Pt. 2 Attention dinosaurs! Prepare for total destruction! Your bones will be ground into donut flour that we take back to Geriatric Park. Eh, you guys are too powerful for us to fight, so we're not gonna. Rwaaark? You're not? No. When this is all over, you'll just freeze up as thirty-foot tall advertising mascots again anyway. I don't want to go back! I was hoping to become a dentist. And I've always dreamed of dairy farming. Don't kid yourselves. Once they don't need you to fight us anymore, you'll return to standing in front of their stupid buildings. That's not true! We've a plan to repurpose you as mascots for local sports teams. How's the Fighting Lady Lardlads sound? That sounds horrible! Weird old dinosaur guy is right. Humans suck brimstone and blow fire! Task: "Collect Syringes" (x115). Task: "Capture Dinosaurs" (x15). If Grampasaurus is owned: Task: "Make Grampasaurus Recruit Giant Signs". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Front Gate, or a Visitable Home and takes 2 hours. If Sentient Lard Lad Statue is owned: Task: "Make Sentient Lard Lad Statue Switch Sides and Rampage". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Front Gate, or a Visitable Home and takes 2 hours. If Professor Frink is owned: Task: "Make Frink Be Surprised". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Front Gate, or a Visitable Home and takes 2 hours. Task: "Make Lisa Be Surprised Anyone Is Surprised". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Front Gate, or a Visitable Home and takes 2 hours. Task: "Make Homer Be Scared Giant Signs Have Joined Dinos". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Front Gate, or a Visitable Home and takes 2 hours. That didn't turn out well. It's just so unexpected. I wish somebody had said something to stop us. *sigh* They never listen. Quest reward: 100 and 10 New Invention Expo

Pt. 4[edit]

After completing Pt. 3 Relax, everyone. I have a Plan B. I'll reverse the bigifyer laser and shrinkinate some brave nanonauts to microscopic size. And then inject them into their leader — Grampasaurus. Even shrunk, I might be too big. Your fat butt has saved us from helping, Homer! They'll have to use some other family of suckers. Simpsons, you're up! What?! Dad, this all sounds very strange...and probably dangerous. Forget it, Frink! No way am I going to allow my family to— You'll get to pilot this cool microscopic submarine around the inside of a dinosaur. We're in! Task: "Collect Syringes" (x155). Task: "Capture Dinosaurs" (x15). If Professor Frink is owned: Task: "Make Frink Activate Shrinking Ray". The job takes place at New Invention Expo, the Town Hall, Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Front Gate, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Simpsons Get Shrunk" (x4). The jobs take place at New Invention Expo, the Town Hall, Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Front Gate, or a Visitable Home and take 4 hours. Now we take this dart gun with the bionaut ship inside and shoot Grampasaurus. *inside dart gun* Please don't miss! No pressure. But if you fail, the dinosaurs will continue to rampage! *inside dart gun* Also...we may die! Yes, that too. So, who's got good aim? Uh, well...Ralphie is better than I am. I'm pretty good, but I got a wrist injury from repeatedly taking off my police badge and throwing it down in disgust. *inside dart gun* Will someone just stick us into the dinosaur! Quest reward: 100 and 10 Bionaut Marge

Pt. 5[edit]

After completing Pt. 4 Frink to Simpsons! Frink to Simpsons! Do you copy? Breaker breaker one-nine, good buddy! This is the Radioactive Porkchop, comin' at ya. We are wall-to-wall and treetop tall! Dad, we're in a microscopic submarine, not a semi-truck in the 1970s. Homer, what do you see in front of you? Just miles and miles of yuck. You're supposed to be in the target's brain. I think we're in his giant dino-butt! Dad, you were supposed to take a left turn back there. There's always a backseat nanobot driver. Task: "Collect Syringes" (x195). Task: "Capture Dinosaurs" (x15). Task: "Make Homer Get Lost Inside Grampasaurus". The job takes place at New Invention Expo, the Town Hall, Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Front Gate, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Bionaut Marge is owned: Task: "Make Marge Navigate to the Brain". The job takes place at New Invention Expo, the Town Hall, Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Front Gate, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Lisa Inject Serum Into Grampasaurus' Brain". The job takes place at New Invention Expo, the Town Hall, Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Front Gate, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Grampasaurus is owned: Task: "Make Grampasaurus Become Compliant". The job takes place at New Invention Expo, the Town Hall, Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Front Gate, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Alright, Grampasaurus. You should be feeling compliant about now. Lead the dinosaurs back to Geriatric Park. Yes, master. Lead...dinosaurs...back. I did it! The serum is working! Now we need to get the Simpsons out of the dinosaur. How exactly do we do that? Well, Homer does know where the butt is... Quest reward: 200 and 20 Bionaut Ship

Currency-earning jobs[edit]

Task Character(s) Time Location(s) Reward Find Syringes on the Beach Mr. Burns, Smithers, Homer, Bart, Lisa, Grampa, Professor Frink, Skinner 4h Beach Towel & Umbrella, Beach Chair, Beach House, Beach Front Escalier, Beach Hideaway, Tiki Bar, Squidport Entrance, Visitable Homes 5, 45 Steal Syringes From the Hospital Grampasaurus, Mecha-Chalmers, Panther Marge, Sentient Lard Lad Statue Springfield General Hospital, Hibbert Family Practice, Calmwood Mental Hospital, Visitable Homes 8, 70