Difference between revisions of "Dark Matters"

Latest revision as of 11:23, November 17, 2024

Dark Matters is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the SciFi content update.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After starting the update Ladies and gentleflavens, mark this day on your calendar! For today begins a glorious new age of scientific discovery! Sorry, I already marked today as Taco Tuesday. And I wrote it in pen. Sir, I don't actually care about your salsa-stained calendar. I was trying to sound dramatic. Try harder. Very well. Behold my latest invention... drum roll please... with the drumming and the rolling... the PolyVac! Neat! What is it, some kind of super-computer-controlled particle detector for studying black holes? Actually, little girl, it's a super-computer-controlled, uh... yes, exactly. What she said. Task: "Build the PolyVac". It takes 6 seconds. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 2[edit]

After completing Pt. 1 Now, all we need to study a black hole is a, uh, black hole to study. Black holes suck! Bart! Watch your language, unless you meant that as a scientific observation. Rest assured, madam, I did not. The potty-mouthed lad is correct. Black holes absorb, or colloquially, "suck," everything within their event horizon. Dammit! I hate accidentally making scientific observations. Professor, is it safe to have a black hole within just a few squares of our schools and peanut carts? Relax, Marge, he's a scientist! He wouldn't ask us to do anything dangerous. Quite right, Homer. Now grab a mouthful of that plutonium over there and spit it into this boiling acid to initiate the black hole implosion I'm way ahead of you! Task: "Make Homer Spit Plutonium Into Acid to Form the Black Hole". The job takes place at the PolyVac and takes 6 seconds. Now, using the PolyVac, I will prove once and for all that nothing can escape the black hole! But didn't the great physicist Stephen Hawking theorize that black holes emit particles known as Hawking radiation? Hawking Shmawking! I'm sick of that know-it-all with his fancy awards and his show-off chair. There's no such thing as Hawking Radiation. That's not what I heard. Who said that, in a strangely familiar computerized voice? Quest reward: 100 and 10 Stephen Hawking

Pt. 3[edit]

After completing Pt. 2 Great Caesar's Gloiven, it's Stephen Hawking! B-but how did you get here? The Hawking Radiation condensed into a physical manifestation of Hawking himself! Thereby conclusively proving the existence of my namesake radiation. Now I'm sure to win the Nobel Prize, and maybe the even more prestigious Hawking Medal. I've never even won the Frink Medal. I surmise black holes are actually terminal endpoints of wormholes leading to parallel universes. We'll need someone brave and expendable to test my theory. Not me, buddy! I'm sick of doing tasks. How come Moleman never has to do anything? Yes, pick me, please, I'm begging you. This sounds like a job for Homer Simpson. Grrr. Okay. But I swear, crawling into this singularity is the last task I'll ever do! Probably. Now wriggle on in there. Sheesh, this wormhole is kind of tight... can you let out the event horizon a little? I said wriggle! Task: "Make Homer Wriggle Through the Wormhole". The job takes place at the PolyVac and takes 6 seconds. I hope you're happy, Hawking. I proved your theory correct. I made it through the wormhole and lived three lifetimes in another dimension. And all you missed was Taco Tuesday. This is the worst day of my lives! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 4[edit]

After completing Pt. 3 The multiverse is ripe for exploration! So much work to do! Homer, imagine all the work you've ever done, then multiply it by infinity. Zero times infinity? How much is that? About 37. Get busy! Task: "Make Homer Do 37 Experiments for Hawking". Forget it, Egghead! No more tasks for me! From now on, whenever anyone sends me on a task, I'm going to refuse! Task: "Make Homer Refuse to Do a Task". No! I refuse! Heh heh. Message Goal Complete! Congratulations, you completed "Make Homer Refuse to Do a Task." Collect your reward! Quest reward: 100 and 10 D'oh! I've gotta get more clever here. To be truly lazy, I'll need to assemble an all-star team of super-dupes to take over my workload. Task: "Make Homer Kidnap Alternate Homers from Other Universes". The job takes place at the PolyVac and takes 6 seconds. I'm back. Or should I say, WE'RE back! Meet the alternate universe all-stars! Hello. Charmed. What up, Ho-bro. *CHEWING AND BELCHING SOUNDS* Glargggh! Wow, two of them couldn't speak at all. Yet they still seemed slightly smarter than Dad. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 5[edit]

After completing Alternate Homers Look, there's something else coming through the space sphincter! A real live robot! I AM ROBOT NUMBER 1. Here comes another! I AM ROBOT NUMBER 2. I wonder what the next guy's name will be. I AM ROBOT NUMBER 4. BUT YOU CAN CALL ME ROBOT NUMBER 3. There comes another... and another! That makes five. Quit showing off, Hawking. A veritable army of robots from a parallel universe. What could go wrong? ...I said in the most sarcastic way imaginable. ...Which is how I say everything, so I can understand if there was some measure of confusion regarding-- ROBOTS... ATTACK!!!!!!! Swish. I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords. Fight back! Every able-bodied man, woman, and child! That's everyone but you! Less talking, more fighting. Task: "Tap Some Robots" (x5). Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 6[edit]

After completing Pt. 5 My Homers versus your robots! They're not my robots. Help! I'm being beaten to a king-sized pulp! It's no use! There's dozens more robots pouring out of the wormhole! Tapping isn't working, and it's our only interface! I have an idea! I have a better idea. Fire up the PolyVac! Task: "Use the SciFighter". What was that flash? A burst of Hawking Radiation. I destroyed the robots, proving once again that brute force is no match for the human mind... ...when accompanied by a tremendously powerful particle-beam weapon. Revenge! Oh no! They're still coming! Guard the PolyVac until it can recharge for another Hawking burst! Less talking, more Hawking! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 7[edit]

After completing Pt. 6 Professor Hawking, can't we stop the robot invasion by just closing the wormhole? Easier said than done. I recruited a local expert on String Theory to advise us, but her analysis is somewhat difficult to follow. BALLSOFSTRING! BALLSOFSTRING! For now, our only hope of survival is to place a highly skilled nuclear engineer in control of the PolyVac. Homer, can we count on you? I'm your man! I'm really good at pressing buttons! Unless they're close together. Or far apart. Oh, God. You're relying on Homer Simpson to keep us alive? I'm the only competent engineer in this entire town! Competent? Didn't I pass your grave already? Message Check out the store for Frank Grimes, Springfield Nuclear Plant's first and last competent employee! Task: "Make Homer Relax in the Brown House". The job takes place at the Brown House and takes 2 hours. If Frank Grimes is owned: Task: "Make Frank Grimes Prepare High Voltage Defenses". The job takes place at the PolyVac and takes 4 hours. Quest Reward: 25/25/25 and 10