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Difference between revisions of "Treehouse of Horror XVII/Quotes"

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< Treehouse of Horror XVII
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em|G.I. (Annoyed Grunt)}}
 
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em|G.I. (Annoyed Grunt)}}
  
−
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} It's blob rule on the streets of Springfield! And to make matters worse, we're being attacked by a 50-foot Lenny!
+
{{qf|[[Charles Montgomery Burns]]}} Hello, boils and ghouls. I am the Cryptkeeper, or should I say master of scare-i-monies? ''[laughs]''
−
{{qf|50-Foot [[Lenny]]}} Everyone's paying attention to Homer.
+
{{qf|[[Waylon Smithers]]}} ''[laughing]'' Priceless, sir. You made the word "ceremonies" frightening.
−
{{qf|[[Carl]]}} I still like you.
+
{{qf|Mr. Burns}} I know what I did. ''[scoffs]''
−
{{qf|50-Foot Lenny}} Thanks, Invisible Carl!
+
{{qf|[[Moe Szyslak]]}} Hey, can we get going here? Listening to you two is more torture than the torture.
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|[[Kodos]]}} Colonel Kang, report.
+
{{qf|Moe}} Whoa, look at that! My blood's a genius. Fancy Roman numerals and everything.
−
{{qf|[[Kang]]}} What a day. You said we'd be greeted as liberators.
+
----
−
{{qf|Kodos}} Don't worry. We still have the people's hearts and minds. ''[Holds up a heart and brain.]''
+
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Ooh, a [[Space Marshmallow]]! Where do you think you're going?
−
{{qf|Kang}} I don't know. I'm starting to think "Operation: Enduring Occupation" was a bad idea.
+
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Dad, no! It could teach us the secret of interstellar travel!
−
{{qf|Kodos}} We had to invade! They were working on weapons of mass disintegration!
+
{{qf|Homer}} If he's so smart, how come he can't stay outta my mouth?
−
{{qf|Kang}} Sure, they were!
+
----
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Must eat, then poop, then eat some more, then eat while pooping.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Homer! You won't eat my stuffed peppers, but you'll eat our son?
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Nag, nag, nag.
 
----
 
----
−
:''[Bart writes a command on a piece of paper and sticks it in the golem's mouth, who walks up to a wall and puts his foot through it.]''
+
{{qf|Homer}} Ooh, teenagers... No! Today's teens have enough problems, without me eating them.
−
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Can't you read my handwriting? I didn't say "Kick Homer's walls."
 
−
:''[Homer walks up and the golem kicks him between the legs.]''
 
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|[[Female Golem]]}} There's a latke bar downstairs.
+
{{qf|[[Squeaky-voiced teen]]}} Tell my friends I died kissing a girl!
−
{{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} Latke? What the hell's a latke?
+
{{qf|Homer}} No.
−
{{qf|Female Golem}} They're pan-fried...
 
−
{{qf|Chief Wiggum}} Case dismissed!!
 
 
----
 
----
−
:''[In "Married to the Blob," Homer happens upon an Oktoberfest festival while roaming through the streets of Springfield on an eating rampage.]''
+
{{qf|[[German man]]}} What did we Germans ever do to deserve this? ''[realizing]'' Oh, right.
−
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} ''[Gasps]'' Ooh. Beer-battered Germans.
 
−
:''[The crowd screams and scatters as Homer eats a couple Germans.]''
 
−
{{qf|[[German man]]}} What did we Germans ever do to deserve this? ''[A second German man looks disapprovingly back at the other German.]'' ''[Realizing]'' Oh, right.
 
−
:''[The two Germans dissolve inside of Homer's stomach.]''
 
−
{{qf|Homer}} ''[Zombie-like]'' Must eat more fat people. Thank God I'm in America.
 
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|[[Mayor Quimby]]}} We have nothing to fear but the aliens and their vastly superior killing technology!
+
{{qf|Homer}} Must eat more fat people. Thank God I'm in America!
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|[[Orson Welles]]}} The devastation is incredible! They're grinding up the bodies of human beings!
+
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} It's blob rule on the streets of Springfield! And to make matters worse, we're also being attacked by a fifty-foot Lenny.
−
{{qf|Sound technician}} ''[Uses a wisp to grind up cornflakes.]''
+
{{qf|[[Lenny Leonard]]}} ''[disgruntled]'' Everyone's payin' attention to Homer.
−
{{qf|Orson Welles}} Now they're riding horses in the rain!
+
{{qf|[[Carl Carlson]]}} ''[voice only]'' I still like you.
−
{{qf|Sound technician}} ''[Clacks coconut halves against a wooden board while pouring water into a tray.]''
+
{{qf|Lenny}} Thanks, Invisible Carl.
−
{{qf|Orson Welles}} Now they're playing the xylophone while bowling near an airport.
 
−
{{qf|Sound technician}} ''[Holds up sign reading "Screw you" and leaves.]''
 
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Radio Announcer}} Astronomers say the ominous capsules originated from Earth's closest neighbor.
+
{{qf|{{Ch|Dr. Phil}}}} Homer, don't sell me an outhouse and tell me it's the [[Taj Mahal]].
−
{{qf|Homer}} Flanders?
+
{{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} Yeah, Homer! Stop doin' that!
−
{{qf|Radio Announcer}} Mars!
+
{{qf|Dr. Phil}} It's time to open up a can of honesty: you're thinking about eating me right now, aren't you? Aren't you?
 +
{{qf|Homer}} That's ridiculous, talking fudge.
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Radio Announcer}} We interrupt this dance music from Lamourian Roman Capital City's Fabulous Hotel Hitler to bring you a special bulletin.
+
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Whoa, Krusty's prop room! Cool! It's that clown car all those midgets drowned in!
−
{{qf|Homer}} Hey, I'm not done dancing! This bulletin better swing!
 
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|[[Grandpa]]}} I never thought it would come to this when I fought in the first World War.
+
{{qf|[[Kearney Zzyzwicz]]}} Yo, Simpson. Give us your lunch money.
−
{{qf|Lenny}} First World War? Why do you keep calling it that?
+
{{qf|Bart}} ''[smug]'' I don't think so. In fact, why don't you give me your lunch money?
−
{{qf|Grandpa}} Oh, you'll see!
+
{{qf|[[Dolph Shapiro]]}} Who's gonna make us? That golem?
 +
{{qf|Bart}} No, my go-- Yes, him.
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|[[Male Golem|Golem]]}} I feel so guilty! I've mangled and maimed 37 people and I told a telemarketer I was busy when I wasn't! I'm not a good man.
+
{{qf|Bart}} Finally, someone who does whatever I say.
−
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} He sure is neurotic for a monster.
+
{{qf|[[Milhouse Van Houten]]}} Hey Bart, I shaved my head, like you told me.
 +
{{qf|Bart}} Get lost.
 +
{{qf|Milhouse}} Yes, Master!
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Finally someone who does whatever I say!
+
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[suspicious]'' Bart, did your mystical Jewish monster beat up those bullies?
−
{{qf|[[Milhouse]]}} Hey, Bart. I shaved my head like you told me.
+
{{qf|Bart}} ''[defensive]'' Oh, it's always the Jews' fault.
−
{{qf|Bart}} Get lost!
 
−
{{qf|Milhouse}} Yes, master!
 
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|[[Kearney]]}} Yo, Simpson. Give us your lunch money!
+
{{qf|[[Male Golem]]}} Finally! I can talk! This is the voice I've got? Sounds like I should be selling egg creams in Brighton Beach. That's what we call Jewish humor. You don't have to understand it 'cause the words sound funny. Mishugenna. Hilarious. Hello. Huh? It's funny, believe me.
−
{{qf|Bart}} Hmm... I don't think so. In fact, why don't you give me your lunch money?
 
−
{{qf|[[Dolph]]}} Who's gonna make us? That golem?
 
−
{{qf|Bart}} No, my gol—Yes, him.
 
 
----
 
----
−
:''[In "Married to the Blob," Mayor Quimby entices a group of homeless men to enter the "new" homeless shelter.]''
+
{{qf|[[Superintendent Chalmers]]}} Skin-ner! Just let him kill you already.
−
{{qf|Mayor Quimby}} In you go, boys. We've got everything—warm beds, square meals, homeless women.
+
{{qf|[[Principal Skinner]]}} ''[to the Golem]'' That's the man I was telling you about.
 
----
 
----
−
:''[In "Married to the Blob," Dr. Phil and Homer's family try to intervene during an eating rampage.]''
+
{{qf|[[Groundskeeper Willie]]}} You'll make better mulch than you did a man.
−
{{qf|[[Dr. Phil McGraw]]}} Homer, your family's here. And you've gotta help me help them help you help me help you.
+
{{qf|Principal Skinner}} I may be bifurcated, but I still have feelings.
−
{{qf|Homer}} Marge, I missed you. All this eating has put me in the mood for a little lovin' ''[Purrs sexily.]''
 
−
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} I have to be honest with you: I can't love a 4,000 ton cannibal.
 
−
{{qf|Homer}} What happened to "for better or for worse?!"
 
−
{{qf|Bart}} Dad, you're eating Dr. Phil.
 
−
{{qf|Homer}} ''[Licks fingers.]'' It's amazing. He tastes just like Jeffery Tambor.
 
−
:''[Dr. Phil can be seen grunting and struggling inside Homer's stomach.]''
 
−
{{qf|Dr. Phil}} Food does not equal love! ''[He perishes inside Homer's stomach.]''
 
 
----
 
----
−
:''[In "Married to the Blob," Dr. Phil confronts Homer during one of his eating rampages.]''
+
{{qf|[[Female Golem]]}} Hello, everybody. ''[disgusted]'' What's with this outfit? It looks like a lion ate a parrot and then threw up.
−
{{qf|Dr. Phil}} You've got a weight problem, and you know it!
 
−
{{qf|Homer}} You're right. Starting tomorrow, no bread before dinner.
 
−
{{qf|Dr. Phil}} Homer, don't sell me an outhouse and tell me it's a Taj Mahal!
 
−
{{qf|Chief Wiggum}} Yeah, Homer, stop doing that!
 
 
----
 
----
−
:''[In "Married to the Blob," as Homer wanders through Springfield looking for things to eat, he happens upon a beach party full of teenagers.]''
+
{{qf|Carl}} I don't get it -- what's so "Great" about this Depression?
−
{{qf|Homer}} Ooh, teenagers! Mmm! ''[Gurgles and drools.]'' No, today's teens have enough problems without me eating them!
+
{{qf|Lenny}} Well, I like how everything's sepia-toned. Makes me feel all nostalgic.
−
{{qf|[[Female teenager|Teenage Girl]]}} Barbeque sauce fight!
 
−
:''[All the teens start squirting each other with Barbeque sauce, Squeaky Voiced Teen gets hit with some sauce and falls into a bonfire.]''
 
−
{{qf|[[Squeaky Voiced Teen]]}} ''[Screaming]'' The flames are sealing in my juices!
 
−
{{qf|Homer}} I'll savor you!
 
−
:''[Homer grabs Squeaky Voiced Teen and takes a bite out of him.]''
 
−
{{qf|Homer}} Mmm! Extra-virgin. ''[Gurgles and drools]''
 
−
:''[Homer starts stuffing Squeaky Voiced Teen into his mouth.]''
 
−
{{qf|Squeaky Voiced Teen}} ''[Screaming]'' Tell my friends I died kissing a girl!
 
−
{{qf|Homer}} No!
 
−
:''[Homer swallows Squeaky Voiced Teen.]''
 
 
----
 
----
−
:''[In "Married to the Blob," after eating the green goo, Homer's stomach rumbles and he wakes up in a zombie-like trance.]''
+
{{qf|[[Edna Krabappel]]}} Settle down, children. Have a cigarette to calm your nerves.
−
{{qf|Homer}} Must eat, then poop, then eat some more, then eat while pooping. ''[Homer heads down to the kitchen and raids the refrigerator.]'' ''[Panting]'' Still hungry.
 
−
:''[Bart stumbles into the kitchen to see what is going on.]''
 
−
{{qf|Bart}} Dad?
 
−
{{qf|Homer}} Son, let me have a lick at you.
 
−
:''[Homer stuffs Bart into his mouth and tries to eat him. Marge walks into the kitchen and clicks on the light.]''
 
−
{{qf|Marge}} Homer! You won't eat my stuffed peppers, but you'll eat our son?
 
−
{{qf|Homer}} Nag, nag, nag.
 
−
:''[Homer pulls a squirming Bart out of his mouth.]''
 
 
----
 
----
−
:''[In "Married to the Blob," a meteorite crashes in the Simpson family back yard and splits open, revealing a glowing green goo.]''
+
{{qf|Chief Wiggum}} Boys, we have to assume our guns are useless. Throw 'em in the lake. Good. Now, the police car. Wait -- did you get my sweater out of the front seat?
−
{{qf|Homer}} Whoo! A space marshmallow! ''[Plucks the goo with a stick and tries to eat the goo, which keeps trying to avoid Homer's mouth.]'' Uh? Where do you think you're going?
+
{{qf|[[Lou]]}} ''[lying]'' Uh, yeah.
−
{{qf|Lisa}} Dad, no! It could teach us the secret of interstellar travel.
+
{{qf|Chief Wiggum}} Well where is it?
−
{{qf|Homer}} If he's so smart, how come he can't stay out of my mouth?
+
{{qf|Lou}} I'll go get it.
−
:''[The goo struggles in Homer's mouth before finally being swallowed.]''
 
−
{{qf|Marge}} How could you eat that goo? You don't know what galaxy it's from.
 
−
{{qf|Homer}} Marge, I ate it. It's over.
 
−
:''[The goo tries to seep out of Homer's nose.]''
 
−
{{qf|Homer}} Whoa! Oh, no, you don't! ''[He repeatedly snorts the goo back into his nose.]'' If I can keep down Arby's, I can keep down you!
 
 
----
 
----
−
:''[In "Married to the Blob," Marge and Homer cuddle in the hammock in the back yard.]''
+
{{qf|[[Orson Welles]]}} Please, you must believe me -- this is no hoax! This is a real invasion!
−
{{qf|Marge}} Look! A shooting star!
+
{{qf|Chief Wiggum}} Oh yeah? Why don't I just punch you in the nose, Bud?
−
{{qf|Homer}} Hey, that's great. Let's look at it after. ''[Turns Marge's head for a kiss and while the two make out, the meteorite sears through Marge's hair and slams into the ground.]''
+
{{qf|Orson Welles}} "Nose-bud." Chief, you've got to alert the military!
−
{{qf|Marge}} Whoa! That almost tore my head off.
+
{{qf|Chief Wiggum}} Fine, fine, I'll do it right now.
−
{{qf|Homer}} ''[Whining]'' Oh, you always find an excuse not to make out.
+
{{qf|General}} ''[on phone]'' U.S. Army. What's the threat?
 +
{{qf|Chief Wiggum}} ''[on phone]'' Uh, we've been invaded... by a pompous, radio ham. ''[hangs up]'' How's it feel when the hoax is on the other foot?
 +
{{qf|Orson Welles}} I must admit, it's unpleasant.
 
----
 
----
−
:''[During the opening credits, Mr. Burns acts as the Crypt Keeper from Tales from the Crypt.]''
+
{{qf|[[Kodos Johnson]]}} Colonel Kang, your report.
−
{{qf|[[Mr. Burns]]}} Hello, boils and ghouls. I am the crypt-keeper, or should I say master of scary-i-monie ''[Laughs]''
+
{{qf|[[Kang Johnson]]}} ''[sighs]'' Well... The Earthlings continue to resent our presence. You said we'd be greeted as liberators!
−
:''[Smithers interrupts Mr. Burn's opening speech.]''
+
{{qf|Kodos}} Don't worry. We still have the people's hearts and minds.
−
{{qf|[[Smithers]]}} ''[Laughs]'' Priceless sir, you made the word ceremonies frightening.
+
{{qf|Kang}} I don't know. I'm starting to think "Operation: Enduring Occupation" was a bad idea.
−
{{qf|Mr. Burns}} I know what I did. Urghh.
+
{{qf|Kodos}} We had to invade. They were working on weapons of mass disintegration!
 +
{{qf|Kang}} ''[skeptical]'' Sure they were.
  
 
{{Season 18|Q}}
 
{{Season 18|Q}}

Latest revision as of 15:28, September 25, 2024


Season 18 Episode Quotes
← 381 "Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em"
382
"Treehouse of Horror XVII"
"G.I. (Annoyed Grunt)" 383 →


Charles Montgomery Burns: Hello, boils and ghouls. I am the Cryptkeeper, or should I say master of scare-i-monies? [laughs]
Waylon Smithers: [laughing] Priceless, sir. You made the word "ceremonies" frightening.
Mr. Burns: I know what I did. [scoffs]
Moe Szyslak: Hey, can we get going here? Listening to you two is more torture than the torture.
Moe: Whoa, look at that! My blood's a genius. Fancy Roman numerals and everything.
Homer: Ooh, a Space Marshmallow! Where do you think you're going?
Lisa: Dad, no! It could teach us the secret of interstellar travel!
Homer: If he's so smart, how come he can't stay outta my mouth?
Homer: Must eat, then poop, then eat some more, then eat while pooping.
Marge: Homer! You won't eat my stuffed peppers, but you'll eat our son?
Homer: Nag, nag, nag.
Homer: Ooh, teenagers... No! Today's teens have enough problems, without me eating them.
Squeaky-voiced teen: Tell my friends I died kissing a girl!
Homer: No.
German man: What did we Germans ever do to deserve this? [realizing] Oh, right.
Homer: Must eat more fat people. Thank God I'm in America!
Kent Brockman: It's blob rule on the streets of Springfield! And to make matters worse, we're also being attacked by a fifty-foot Lenny.
Lenny Leonard: [disgruntled] Everyone's payin' attention to Homer.
Carl Carlson: [voice only] I still like you.
Lenny: Thanks, Invisible Carl.
Dr. Phil: Homer, don't sell me an outhouse and tell me it's the Taj Mahal.
Chief Wiggum: Yeah, Homer! Stop doin' that!
Dr. Phil: It's time to open up a can of honesty: you're thinking about eating me right now, aren't you? Aren't you?
Homer: That's ridiculous, talking fudge.
Bart: Whoa, Krusty's prop room! Cool! It's that clown car all those midgets drowned in!
Kearney Zzyzwicz: Yo, Simpson. Give us your lunch money.
Bart: [smug] I don't think so. In fact, why don't you give me your lunch money?
Dolph Shapiro: Who's gonna make us? That golem?
Bart: No, my go-- Yes, him.
Bart: Finally, someone who does whatever I say.
Milhouse Van Houten: Hey Bart, I shaved my head, like you told me.
Bart: Get lost.
Milhouse: Yes, Master!
Lisa: [suspicious] Bart, did your mystical Jewish monster beat up those bullies?
Bart: [defensive] Oh, it's always the Jews' fault.
Male Golem: Finally! I can talk! This is the voice I've got? Sounds like I should be selling egg creams in Brighton Beach. That's what we call Jewish humor. You don't have to understand it 'cause the words sound funny. Mishugenna. Hilarious. Hello. Huh? It's funny, believe me.
Superintendent Chalmers: Skin-ner! Just let him kill you already.
Principal Skinner: [to the Golem] That's the man I was telling you about.
Groundskeeper Willie: You'll make better mulch than you did a man.
Principal Skinner: I may be bifurcated, but I still have feelings.
Female Golem: Hello, everybody. [disgusted] What's with this outfit? It looks like a lion ate a parrot and then threw up.
Carl: I don't get it -- what's so "Great" about this Depression?
Lenny: Well, I like how everything's sepia-toned. Makes me feel all nostalgic.
Edna Krabappel: Settle down, children. Have a cigarette to calm your nerves.
Chief Wiggum: Boys, we have to assume our guns are useless. Throw 'em in the lake. Good. Now, the police car. Wait -- did you get my sweater out of the front seat?
Lou: [lying] Uh, yeah.
Chief Wiggum: Well where is it?
Lou: I'll go get it.
Orson Welles: Please, you must believe me -- this is no hoax! This is a real invasion!
Chief Wiggum: Oh yeah? Why don't I just punch you in the nose, Bud?
Orson Welles: "Nose-bud." Chief, you've got to alert the military!
Chief Wiggum: Fine, fine, I'll do it right now.
General: [on phone] U.S. Army. What's the threat?
Chief Wiggum: [on phone] Uh, we've been invaded... by a pompous, radio ham. [hangs up] How's it feel when the hoax is on the other foot?
Orson Welles: I must admit, it's unpleasant.
Kodos Johnson: Colonel Kang, your report.
Kang Johnson: [sighs] Well... The Earthlings continue to resent our presence. You said we'd be greeted as liberators!
Kodos: Don't worry. We still have the people's hearts and minds.
Kang: I don't know. I'm starting to think "Operation: Enduring Occupation" was a bad idea.
Kodos: We had to invade. They were working on weapons of mass disintegration!
Kang: [skeptical] Sure they were.
Season 18 Quotes
The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and Her Homer • Jazzy and the Pussycats • Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em • Treehouse of Horror XVII • G.I. (Annoyed Grunt) • Moe'N'a Lisa • Ice Cream of Margie (with the Light Blue Hair) • The Haw-Hawed Couple • Kill Gil, Volumes I & II • The Wife Aquatic • Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Three Times • Little Big Girl • Springfield Up • Yokel Chords • Rome-Old and Juli-Eh • Homerazzi • Marge Gamer • The Boys of Bummer • Crook and Ladder • Stop, or My Dog Will Shoot! • 24 Minutes • You Kent Always Say What You Want
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