Difference between revisions of "Pygmoelian/Quotes"

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|episode=Pygmoelian
 
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Missionary: Impossible|Bart to the Future}}
 
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Missionary: Impossible|Bart to the Future}}
  
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:'''Homer''': Moe! The new Duff calendars are out! The ones with your picture.
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{{qf|[[Duffman]]}} And now the local lug who fills your mug with the drug you chug—oh yeah! -- Give it up for Moe Szyslak!
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:'''Moe''': Oh, boy! Move over, liquor license. (takes a framed license down from the wall)
 
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:'''Lenny''': (reading license) Hey Moe, this license expired in 1973, and it's only good in Rhode Island … and it's signed by you.
 
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:'''Moe''': Yeah, yeah, I've been meaning to get that updated, uh, for this state and, real.
 
 
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:'''Duff Man''': And the winner… Moe Szyslak!
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{{qf|Duffman}} Duff beer is brewed from hops, barley and sparkling, clear, mountain... what?
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:'''Moe''': Aw, that's great; thank you, thanks a lot. Uh, I just want to say that it was an honor for me to compete against the Mick and the, uh, the chick with the rack there.
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{{qf|[[Titania]]}} Goat?
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{{qf|Duffman}} Eh, close enough!
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:''[Homer takes a sip of Duff Beer.]''
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{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Ahhh, you can really taste the goat.
 
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:'''Duff Man''': Duff beer is brewed from hops, barley, and sparkling clear mountain … what?
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{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Kids, would you like a balloon?
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:'''Titania''': (rings bell) Goat.
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{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Yeah, right, Mom. Then I'd like a rattle and a wowwipop. Actually, I would like a wowwipop.
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{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Those balloons won't biodegrade for ten thousand years. And if Bart gets a wowwipop, I want a wowwipop.
 
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:'''Duff Man''': Are you ready for some Duff love?!
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{{qf|Homer}} Moe, the new Duff calendars are out! The ones with your picture!
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{{qf|[[Moe]]}} Oh, boy! Move over liquor license.
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{{qf|[[Lenny]]}} Hey Moe, this license expired in 1973, and... and it's only good in [[Rhode Island]], and it's signed by you.
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{{qf|Moe}} Yeah, yeah, I've been meanin' to get that updated, uh, for this state, and real. Now let's see the poster boy for the new Moe-lennium.
 
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:'''Homer''': Good work, everyone. We're sure to be first in line for "Duff Days."
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{{qf|Moe}} Am I really that ugly?
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:'''Marge''': You set off the smoke alarm to rush us to a beer festival?
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{{qf|[[Carl]]}} Moe, it's all relative. Is Lenny really that dumb? Is Barney that drunk? Is Homer that lazy, bald and fat?
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:'''Homer''': (chuckles I know. I'm a character. Now a little beer music to get in the mood.
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{{qf|Moe}} Oh my God! It's worse than I thought.
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:''[Moe, Lenny, [[Barney]] and Homer all start sobbing.]''
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{{qf|Carl}} ''[to camera]'' See, this is why I don't talk much.
 
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:'''Moe''': Homer, did you hear that? She called me handsome! Me! It's like I've gone to heaven. Wait a minute…I died on the operating table didn't I?
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{{qf|Moe}} Aw, c'mon, look at me. I'm a gargoyle. What, with the cauliflower ear there, and the lizard lips...
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:'''Homer''': He he, yeah but just for a minute. It's a funny story, I'll tell you some time.
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{{qf|Carl}} The little rat eyes...
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{{qf|Homer}} Caveman brow...
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{{qf|Lenny}} Don't forget that fish snout.
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{{qf|Moe}} Okay, I get it. I ain't pleasant to look at.
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{{qf|Lenny}} Or listen to.
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{{qf|Carl}} Or be with.
 
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:'''Nurse''': Oh boy, what a mug!
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{{qf|[[Helen Morehouse]]}} What were you thinking?
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:'''Surgeon''': Yea, you should see his genitals, would you like to see his genitals?
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{{qf|Director}} Well, you said you wanted "gritty". In other words, "ugly".
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:'''Moe''': I'm awake here.
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{{qf|Helen Morehouse}} I wanted Maryanne on ''[[Gilligan's Island]]'' ugly, not Cornelius on the ''[[Planet of the Apes]]'' ugly. TV ugly, not ugly ugly.
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:'''Surgeon''': Hey this isn't anesthetic it's new car smell.
 
 
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:'''Moe''': It's hopeless, ain't it?
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{{qf|[[Tad Winslow]]}} Cleo, Cleo, you've brought music to my heart, but this relationship can never work. I'm a doctor, and you're a 5,000-year-old mummy I brought back to life.
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:'''Surgeon''': No, no, no, I love a challenge. First, we must install buttocks.
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{{qf|[[Cleo]]}} But I love you, Tad. And together we can burn all the cities of the earth.
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:'''Moe''': Nah, nah, nah - no luxury items. Just the face.
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{{qf|Tad Winslow}} It's against hospital regulations, dammit! And [[Clive Dancer]]'s just waitin' for me to slip up.
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:'''Surgeon''': (drawing on Moe's face with a marker) Okay, I'm going to move this up, this wider. Gonna lose that. I've never even seen one of these!
 
 
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:'''Marge''': Kids, would you like a balloon?
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{{qf|Carl}} So, Lenny, how are things workin' out with you and that girl next door?
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:'''Bart''': (sarcastic) Yeah, right, Mom. Then I'd like a rattle and a wowwypop. Actually, I would like a wowwypop.
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{{qf|Lenny}} Eh, it's over. She got a windowshade.
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:'''Lisa''': Those balloons won't biodegrade for ten thousand years. And if Bart gets a wowwypop, I want a wowwypop.
 
 
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:'''Gay man''': Alright then, we need a symbol for our campaign. Something that says we're gay and republican.
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{{qf|Moe}} And what do you have to tell us, oh, Angel of the Future?
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(A pink balloon in the shape of an elephant flies through the window.)
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{{qf|Homer}} ''[as an angel]'' You're going to die in a skydiving accident.
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:'''Gay man''': A little bit on the nose, don't you think?
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{{qf|Moe}} How tragic. Tell me more.
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{{qf|Homer}} [[Gabriella St. Farge|Gabriella]]'s baby shower will be invaded by terrorists. With sexy results.
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{{qf|Moe}} Ooh, that's unexpected. What else?
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{{qf|Homer}} Well, [[Sister Bernadette]] will leave the convent and start a softball team. With sexy results.
 
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:'''Homer''': (to Lenny & Carl) OK, ready, guys? One...two...three...
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{{qf|Moe}} Hey, there's one thing I don't get, though. When my face was crushed, why did it go back to my old face? I mean, shouldn't it have turned into some kind of third face that was different? Heh. Don't make no...
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(All three lift up their shirts; Homer has "M" on his chest, Carl has "O" on his and Lenny has "O" too)
 
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:'''Homer''': "MOO"!? Lenny, you were suppose to be "E"!
 
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:'''Carl''': See what happens when you skip rehearsal?
 
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:'''Moe''': Am I really that ugly?
 
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:'''Carl''': Well, it's all relative, Moe. Is Lenny really that dumb? Is Barney really that drunk? Is Homer really that fat, bald and stupid?
 
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(Everyone but Carl begins to cry)
 
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:'''Carl''' (to the camera): See, this is why I don't talk much.
 
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:(At The end of the episode)
 
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:'''Moe''':But what I don't get is why after the wall fell on me, why did it go back to my old face and not turn into a new, third face? Dosen't make any-
 
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:(end credits begin to roll.)
 
  
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{{Season 11 Q}}
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{{Season 11|Q}}

Latest revision as of 09:04, June 7, 2022


Season 11 Episode Quotes
← 241 "Missionary: Impossible"
242
"Pygmoelian"
"Bart to the Future" 243 →


Duffman: And now the local lug who fills your mug with the drug you chug—oh yeah! -- Give it up for Moe Szyslak!

Duffman: Duff beer is brewed from hops, barley and sparkling, clear, mountain... what?
Titania: Goat?
Duffman: Eh, close enough!
[Homer takes a sip of Duff Beer.]
Homer: Ahhh, you can really taste the goat.

Marge: Kids, would you like a balloon?
Bart: Yeah, right, Mom. Then I'd like a rattle and a wowwipop. Actually, I would like a wowwipop.
Lisa: Those balloons won't biodegrade for ten thousand years. And if Bart gets a wowwipop, I want a wowwipop.

Homer: Moe, the new Duff calendars are out! The ones with your picture!
Moe: Oh, boy! Move over liquor license.
Lenny: Hey Moe, this license expired in 1973, and... and it's only good in Rhode Island, and it's signed by you.
Moe: Yeah, yeah, I've been meanin' to get that updated, uh, for this state, and real. Now let's see the poster boy for the new Moe-lennium.

Moe: Am I really that ugly?
Carl: Moe, it's all relative. Is Lenny really that dumb? Is Barney that drunk? Is Homer that lazy, bald and fat?
Moe: Oh my God! It's worse than I thought.
[Moe, Lenny, Barney and Homer all start sobbing.]
Carl: [to camera] See, this is why I don't talk much.

Moe: Aw, c'mon, look at me. I'm a gargoyle. What, with the cauliflower ear there, and the lizard lips...
Carl: The little rat eyes...
Homer: Caveman brow...
Lenny: Don't forget that fish snout.
Moe: Okay, I get it. I ain't pleasant to look at.
Lenny: Or listen to.
Carl: Or be with.

Helen Morehouse: What were you thinking?
Director: Well, you said you wanted "gritty". In other words, "ugly".
Helen Morehouse: I wanted Maryanne on Gilligan's Island ugly, not Cornelius on the Planet of the Apes ugly. TV ugly, not ugly ugly.

Tad Winslow: Cleo, Cleo, you've brought music to my heart, but this relationship can never work. I'm a doctor, and you're a 5,000-year-old mummy I brought back to life.
Cleo: But I love you, Tad. And together we can burn all the cities of the earth.
Tad Winslow: It's against hospital regulations, dammit! And Clive Dancer's just waitin' for me to slip up.

Carl: So, Lenny, how are things workin' out with you and that girl next door?
Lenny: Eh, it's over. She got a windowshade.

Moe: And what do you have to tell us, oh, Angel of the Future?
Homer: [as an angel] You're going to die in a skydiving accident.
Moe: How tragic. Tell me more.
Homer: Gabriella's baby shower will be invaded by terrorists. With sexy results.
Moe: Ooh, that's unexpected. What else?
Homer: Well, Sister Bernadette will leave the convent and start a softball team. With sexy results.

Moe: Hey, there's one thing I don't get, though. When my face was crushed, why did it go back to my old face? I mean, shouldn't it have turned into some kind of third face that was different? Heh. Don't make no...
Season 11 Quotes
Beyond Blunderdome • Brother's Little Helper • Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner? • Treehouse of Horror X • E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt) • Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder • Eight Misbehavin' • Take My Wife, Sleaze • Grift of the Magi • Little Big Mom • Faith Off • The Mansion Family • Saddlesore Galactica • Alone Again, Natura-Diddily • Missionary: Impossible • Pygmoelian • Bart to the Future • Days of Wine and D'oh'ses • Kill the Alligator and Run • Last Tap Dance in Springfield • It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge • Behind the Laughter