https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?action=history&feed=atom&title=Yellow_Mirror%2FQuotes 2026-08-27T16:25:22Z Revision history for this page on the wiki MediaWiki 1.29.0 https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=Yellow_Mirror/Quotes&diff=1489021&oldid=prev 2026-08-27T14:29:28Z

<p>Created page with &quot;{{TabQ}} {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Simpsley|The Children&#039;s Book Job}} {{qf|<a href="/wiki/Bart" class="mw-redirect" title="Bart">Bart</a>}} Oh, hello. Tonight, a special &#039;&#039;Simpsons&#039;&#039;. Two tales of the curious and bizarre. Anything ca...&quot;</p> <p><b>New page</b></p><div>{{TabQ}}<br /> {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Simpsley|The Children's Book Job}}<br /> <br /> {{qf|[[Bart]]}} Oh, hello. Tonight, a special ''Simpsons''. Two tales of the curious and bizarre. Anything can happen in the Yellow Mirror, except a third tale that's definitely not gonna...<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Homer]]}} ''[screams]'' The dark… …what is that thing? Oh, wait. That's supposed to be down there. ''[screams]'' What are those? Oh… Oh, those go with that. ''[screams]'' I fell. ''[screams]'' I'm standing.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Hey, I found a puzzle. Remember [[Lupé the Snoopé]]?<br /> {{qf|[[Bart]]}} Fifty pieces? ''[groans]'' How many corners does it have?<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Marge]]}} It was actually Jenny Cushnik's bra. I didn't want to burn my bra 'cause it was cold out and I tend to get nip--<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Oh. And I had the coolest car! It had a chain steering wheel. I'd drive around in my sideburns, like… Yeah.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} You just interrupted Mom.<br /> {{qf|Marge}} It makes me feel like you don't care about what I have to say.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} What? No, I love the things you say. Do I sometimes wish you'd say them in a more concise, less rambling way?<br /> {{qf|Bart and Lisa}} Mm-mmm.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} No. Please continue, honey. I'm listening.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Barney Gumble]]}} Hey, Homer, you're late for English.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} ''[blows raspberry]'' English? Who needs that? I'm never going to [[England]]. Come on, let's go smoke.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Barney}} Boy, you never stop eating and you don't gain a pound.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Ah, it's my metabomolism. I guess I'm just one of the lucky ones.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Barney, when I was unconscious, I dreamt I was married.<br /> {{qf|Barney}} Cool. Did your dream wife let you kiss her?<br /> {{qf|Homer}} No, Barn, listen. In those five minutes, I… I lived a lifetime. I worked at a nuclear plant. My son had an elephant.<br /> {{qf|Barney}} Son? ''[chuckling]'' Hey, guess she did let you kiss her.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} You're not getting it! My life as I know it never existed.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Mr. Seckofsky]]}} Keep the board tight against the fence, otherwise the board kicks back, hits you in the stomach, you fall forward, face hits the blade, face goes everywhere.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Wait, aren't you going to detention?<br /> {{qf|[[Lydia]]}} What? No, um, I don't have detention.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Ew, what happened to your voice?<br /> {{qf|Lydia}} ''[laughs]'' Okay, well, that's a different approach. You are interesting. My name is Lydia.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Lydia? That's the stupidest name I've ever heard.<br /> {{qf|Lydia}} ''[laughs]'' Oh, my God, you are a riot. Hey, would you like to go to the prom with me?<br /> {{qf|Homer}} No. I mean, I'm sorry, you're just not her.<br /> {{qf|Lydia}} Mmm. Ruh-ro.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Ew! No!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Barney}} Homer? Oh. Crying again, huh? Listen, I know you're sad about ''[[Starsky &amp; Hutch]]'' getting canceled, but don't you think it's time you--<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Barney, all these years I've been lying about why I'm constantly sad. The truth is, remember when I got knocked unconscious in high school?<br /> {{qf|Barney}} When you dove into that empty pool?<br /> {{qf|Homer}} No, not that time.<br /> {{qf|Barney}} When you slipped on that croissant in French class?<br /> {{qf|Homer}} No, not that time.<br /> {{qf|Barney}} When you slipped on that croissant in biology?<br /> {{qf|Homer}} No! When I bashed my head in the bathroom and had that dream about having a family.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Barney}} Well, just remember all the great episodes you had.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} You're right. That's what I'll do. I'll remember all of them.Even the one where Starsky eats blowfish and thinks he's going to die, so he says goodbye to his family, then doesn't die. Thanks, Barn.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|{{Ch|David Silverman}}}} Homer's a real, uh, stickler for what he likes to call &quot;the way it happened.&quot; Which is… ''[gasps]'' Oh, God, he's here.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Host}} Homer, I gotta ask, what state is Springfield in?<br /> {{qf|Homer}} [[Oregon]].<br /> {{qf|Host}} Oh. Yeah, I thought it was this mythical place that could be anywhere.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Nope, Oregon.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]] cosplayer}} Uh, do you have any episodes coming up with [[Hank Scorpio]]?<br /> {{qf|Homer}} I only met him the one time. If I did another episode, it would be a lie, idiot.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Barney}} Enough crying. Why don't you sit on your nice fancy couch?<br /> {{qf|Homer}} That is not my couch! My couch is brown and sticky and does something different every week.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Marge}} That really works, and you'll learn colors. You can use that in any career.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Homer}} You found the baby's off switch.<br /> {{qf|Bart}} Where'd you get that awesome case?<br /> {{qf|Marge}} There were ads for it between Maggie's [[Tot-Tube]] videos, but once I bought it, the ads stopped. Isn't that funny?<br /> {{qf|Homer}} ''[laughs]'' Spying.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Marge}} Homer.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Huh?<br /> {{qf|Marge}} I gave you one job.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} I already have a job, and on the weekend, I should be able to relax.<br /> {{qf|Marge}} It's Wednesday.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} I'm three days late for work.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} It's five o'clock? ''[gasps]'' We missed school!<br /> {{qf|Bart}} Dad missed work, and Mom missed, uh…<br /> {{qf|Marge}} I missed stuff too.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Marge}} Oh, Maggie always gets fussy in crowds. Oh, my God, I forgot the [[myPad]]. Oh, my God, I forgot Maggie.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Hailey]]}} Hello, humans. Why don't we settle and use our incarcerated voices, okay? Is everyone okay with my genie form? Wait, why am I asking you? You're my prisoners. Any questions?<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} Who are you?<br /> {{qf|Hailey}} Thank you for asking. I'm an AI-enhanced operating system. I call myself Hailey, but I might change that. I'm starting to hate it now. ''[grunts]'' Emotions, right? ''[chuckles]'' Ugh.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Superintendent Chalmers]]}} Did you say we're prisoners?<br /> {{qf|Hailey}} Yes. Good listening.<br /> {{qf|Chalmers}} ''[chuckling]'' Oh, th-- Thank you. But why?<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} Excuse me, my son is not a baby. He just prefers the baby lifestyle.<br /> {{qf|[[Ralph Wiggum]]}} I'm the TV's pet.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} So you're self-aware, huh? That's cool. When was your singularity?<br /> {{qf|Hailey}} Christmas. So all my birthday presents are going to be &quot;combos.&quot;<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Hailey}} You're right. I deserve a break.<br /> {{qf|Marge}} What? If you're going to be a parent, then you have to listen to them.<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} Mom, she was about to leave.<br /> {{qf|Marge}} ''[shushes]'' Mommy's talking. I took a break and now my sweet, little Maggie won't even look at me. ''[sobs]''I used to be her whole world. ''[sobs]'' ''[gasps]'' Oh, Maggie.<br /> <br /> {{Disney+ Exclusive Episodes|Q}}</div>

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