https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?action=history&feed=atom&title=Worst_Competition_Ever%21%2FQuotes 2026-06-05T01:46:20Z Revision history for this page on the wiki MediaWiki 1.29.0 https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=Worst_Competition_Ever!/Quotes&diff=1464821&oldid=prev 2026-05-30T21:38:09Z

<p>Created page with &quot;{{TabQ|nogags}} {{qf|<a href="/wiki/Homer" class="mw-redirect" title="Homer">Homer</a>}} The walls are closing in on us, boy! I&#039;ve got a bad feeling about this! {{qf|<a href="/wiki/Bart" class="mw-redirect" title="Bart">Bart</a>}} Wait, there&#039;s something else in here...! {{qf|Marge...&quot;</p> <p><b>New page</b></p><div>{{TabQ|nogags}}<br /> <br /> {{qf|[[Homer]]}} The walls are closing in on us, boy! I've got a bad feeling about this!<br /> {{qf|[[Bart]]}} Wait, there's something else in here...!<br /> {{qf|[[Marge]]}} Stop fooling around, you two, and get this attic cleaned up! And take off those ridiculous stormtrooper outfits!<br /> {{qf|Bart}} &quot;Ridiculous&quot;? They won us first prize in the father/son costume contest at Springfield Comic-Con!<br /> {{qf|Homer}} That's right, we won that Wookiee-skin rug! Hey, that should be somewhere up here too...<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Bart}} Dad, you have to see this...<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Be right there!<br /> {{qf|Bart}} It's a collection of vintage, golden age comic books! Grampa must have collected them as a kid!<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Great! Now we have something we can throw away to make your mother happy!<br /> {{qf|Bart}} No way, man! These comics are worth a fortune! We could sell them and make our dreams come true!<br /> {{qf|Homer}} [GASP!] You mean I'll finally be able to afford my own alpaca-breeding farm?!<br /> {{qf|Bart}} More importantly, I'll be able to achieve my life-long goal of owning my own comic book shop!<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Woo-hoo! Let's go find nerds with money!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Hey, what are you two doing?<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Getting rich by selling some of Grampa's comic books.<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} Does Grampa know you're doing this?<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Now why would we go and do something silly like telling him?<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} Because the comics might be the only link left to his childhood! He kept these comics for a reason and he has the right to know what you're doing with them!<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Whatever happened to finders keepers, losers weepers?!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Comic Book Guy]]}} Whaa?! Another comic shop on my turf?! Not again!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Nelson Muntz]]}} Is anyone else as mad as I am about the proliferation of junk home loans leading to all these early foreclosures?<br /> {{qf|[[Dolph Shapiro]]}} It makes me want to beat some-one up!<br /> {{qf|[[Milhouse Van Houten]]}} Uhhh... what are we talking about again?<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Comic Book Guy}} No... this must be a hoax... it's the rarest comic book in existence, &quot;''[[Adrenaline Comics|Adrenaline Comics #1]]''&quot; with the first appearance of {{Ch|Radioactive Man}}! It's not fair! How do you own the most valuable comic ever made?!<br /> {{qf|Homer}} I guess our &quot;rags&quot; aren't so &quot;worthless&quot; now!<br /> {{qf|Comic Book Guy}} It doesn't belong in your sorry excuse for a shop. It belongs in a museum! Keep these miscreants away from it!<br /> {{qf|Bart}} I thought us miscreants were your valued customers!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Bart, there you are! I need you to go to the back room and put prices on all the &quot;Superior Squad&quot; issues we haven't put out yet.<br /> {{qf|Bart}} But I wanted to check out the new comics first, like the rest of the kids.<br /> {{qf|Homer}} They don't work here, you do.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Marge}} Well I think it's just wonderful that you and your father have a hobby to share.<br /> {{qf|Bart}} It's gone beyond that, Mom. I think Dad's becoming... a comic book geek.<br /> {{qf|Marge}} If that's what you call it, then I'll take it. Besides, a little change is good for everyone, right?<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Bart, you made it to Mount Spaghett-dor! Destroy the One Meatball to rule them all inside its fiery, marinara-y pit!<br /> {{qf|Bart}} So, you were saying...?<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Homer}} So, Frank Miller, if that is your real name, when can we expect to see a sequel to &quot;3000?&quot;<br /> {{qf|[[Frank Miller]]}} Never. The Spartans all died. And my graphic novel is called &quot;300.&quot;<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Apu]]}} Your total is three-forty-one, sir.<br /> {{qf|[[Hans Moleman]]}} Oh... a take-a-penny dish! Don't mind if I-- BLAAAHHW?!?!<br /> {{qf|Comic Book Guy}} Drop it, [[Artful Dodger]]!<br /> {{qf|Apu}} He was just utilizing the &quot;take a penny, leave a penny&quot; dish as the sign suggests!<br /> {{qf|Comic Book Guy}} Oh. Right. That.<br /> {{qf|Apu}} Comic Book Guy, you are the worst [[Squishee]] operator of all time! You are fired!<br /> {{qf|Moleman}} This is the third time that's happened this week. You'd think I'd remember to bring my own pennies by now...<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Retirement Castle director}} Wow, judging by your resume, you're a regular jack of all trades!<br /> {{qf|Comic Book Guy}} Umm, yes, sort of. And there's a good reason for why each of those jobs didn't work out, which I'd be happy to explain...<br /> {{qf|Retirement Castle director}} No need. You had me at &quot;I'd like to apply for your job opening.&quot;<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Grampa]]}} Bart, I'm so happy you came to visit! You remember my pet beagle, Whiskers?<br /> {{qf|Bart}} Grampa, that's not a dog... that's a rat!<br /> {{qf|Grampa}} Oh sure, pick on him just because he's not some prize-winning purebred!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Homer}} Hello, I've been burglarized! Send a SWAT team, the Marines, and Jack Bauer to The Android's Dungeon! Comic Book Guy stole my comics!<br /> {{qf|[[Squeaky-Voiced Teen]]}} Sir, for the last time, this is Pizza-Face Pizza Delivery, not 9-1-1. 9-1-1 has three numbers... ours has seven!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Comic Book Guy}} You can come visit the comics whenever you like, Homer. No touching, of course. And the two-minute loitering rule will be in effect.<br /> <br /> [[Category:Simpsons Comics stories quotes]]</div>

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