https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?action=history&feed=atom&title=Women_in_Shorts%2FQuotes 2026-04-20T07:37:35Z Revision history for this page on the wiki MediaWiki 1.29.0 https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=Women_in_Shorts/Quotes&diff=1346141&oldid=prev 2024-11-12T16:13:05Z

<p>Created page with &quot;{{TabQ}} {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Treehouse of Horror XXXV|Treehouse of Horror Presents: Simpsons Wicked This Way Comes}} {{qf|<a href="/wiki/Luann_Van_Houten" title="Luann Van Houten">Luann Van Houten</a>}} Okay, ladies. Let&#039;s all take...&quot;</p> <p><b>New page</b></p><div>{{TabQ}}<br /> {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Treehouse of Horror XXXV|Treehouse of Horror Presents: Simpsons Wicked This Way Comes}}<br /> <br /> {{qf|[[Luann Van Houten]]}} Okay, ladies. Let's all take out this month's book. Then open it, close it, and break out the wine!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Marge]]}} Luann, we're not feeling very &quot;Whoo.&quot; What we're feeling is &quot;woo-oried.&quot;<br /> {{qf|[[Kumiko Albertson]]}} This is an intervention.<br /> {{qf|Luann}} I don't have a problem with drinking.<br /> {{qf|[[Lindsey Naegle]]}} It's not the wine.<br /> {{qf|Marge}} Luann, you have an addiction to wine merch.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Marge}} You like coffee, right? What if your new personality was coffee?<br /> {{qf|Luann}} Coffee merch doesn't get me there!<br /> {{qf|[[Bernice Hibbert]]}} Chocolate?<br /> {{qf|Luann}} &quot;It's chocolate o'clock somewhere&quot;? That makes no sense, Bernice.<br /> {{qf|[[Miss Hoover]]}} How about &quot;proud slut&quot;?<br /> {{qf|Luann}} Hmm... I love it.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|{{Ch|Malibu Stacy}}}} Hi, Shauna!<br /> {{qf|[[Shauna Chalmers]]}} Um. Who are you, freak? Besides a freaky freak, you freak.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Nelson Muntz]]}} Mama, could you tell me a story? How about one from the Kingdom of the Classy Ladies?<br /> {{qf|[[Mrs. Muntz]]}} Another one?<br /> {{qf|Nelson}} Aw, please! I never get tired of their adventures.<br /> {{qf|Mrs. Muntz}} Well, once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named [[Muntzeena]]. Oh, and she loved to dance with all of her friends atop the glittery stage of...<br /> {{qf|Nelson}} [[Lord Tracksuit's Manor]]!<br /> {{qf|Mrs. Muntz}} One fine eve, a party of Knights of the Order of the Bachelor from the Valley of Silicon were there, tossing much gold.<br /> {{qf|Nelson}} Did they bring a wizard with them who could control the weather?<br /> {{qf|Mrs. Muntz}} Oh, they sure did. And boy, oh boy, did he make it rain.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Mrs. Muntz}} Oh, my hero.<br /> {{qf|Nelson}} No, Mom. You're mine.<br /> {{qf|Mrs. Muntz}} Ah, shut up.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Homer]]}} Fun fact about {{Ch|Jennifer Garner}}, Marge. She'll take a night at home with the kids over a Hollywood premiere any day of the week.<br /> {{qf|Marge}} I told you that.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Dr. Hibbert]]}} Hello, stranger. Got any sexually transmitted diseases I should know about?<br /> {{qf|Bernice}} ''[groans]'' My name is Lavern McCray. I'm a lingerie model.<br /> {{qf|Dr. Hibbert}} Well, we have that in common.<br /> {{qf|Bernice}} You're a lingerie model?<br /> {{qf|Dr. Hibbert}} No. Uh, my name is also Lavern McCray.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Wendy Sage]]}} Help! This man is choking! Is anyone here a doctor?<br /> {{qf|Dr. Hibbert}} Me. I'm a... ''[coughs]'' I'ma hoping you find a doctor before it's too late. ''[to Bernice]'' You want me to let a man die to give our marriage a boost?<br /> {{qf|Bernice}} It would be a start.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Kirk Van Houten]]}} I can help. I'm a French neurosurgeon.<br /> {{qf|Luann}} No, he's not. We're just role-playing.<br /> {{qf|Kirk}} You said if I stayed in character, we could have sex.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Lindsey Naegle}} A sad scene. Remember, if you're going to role-play, play it safe. This has been a message from the President's Council on Marital Role-Play, which does not exist because I'm only pretending to be a spokesperson to turn on the men in this bar.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Lunchlady Dora]]}} I believe every great dish is born of dreams. I'll often awaken with a new creation fully formed in my head. Every morning, I go to the farmer's market to get inspired. Each ingredient becomes a character in the story of lunch. Today's story is, I have 14 bucks and 500 kids to feed. Salt. Fat. Acid. Heat. No, thanks.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|{{Ch|Ruth Reichl}}}} I've eaten in restaurants all over the world, and Lunchlady Dora is doing things I never thought were possible. Or legal. Someone needs to stop her. Maybe the government?<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Agnes Skinner]]}} So, hi. This is my first time on one of these sites. I'm not really sure how this works, but it's time to admit that I'm lonely. {{ap|Janice|Women in Shorts}} passed away six months ago, and I'm finally ready to open my heart to a new enemy. We were at war for 50 years. Oh, God. What a nemesis she was. The most loathsome, sorry excuse for a human being you ever met. May she burn in [[Hell]]. I know you're not supposed to talk about your ex, but that relationship is a part of me. Anyway. Ever since I spit on her ugly grave, I've been alone. I'm looking for someone in my rage bracket. I'm not young. I don't have time to waste exchanging passive-aggressive emails or shooting hostile stares across the supermarket. I'm looking for a real commitment. If you think that could be you, reach out. I just wanna make someone miserable for the rest of their worthless life.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Rayshelle Peyton]]}} Doesn't betting on bad things happening to children feel just a bit wrong?<br /> {{qf|Miss Hoover}} I feel nothing and I'm fine with that.<br /> <br /> {{Season 36|Q}}</div>

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