https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?action=history&feed=atom&title=War_Is_Smelly%21%2FQuotes 2026-06-02T09:52:54Z Revision history for this page on the wiki MediaWiki 1.29.0 https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=War_Is_Smelly!/Quotes&diff=1464617&oldid=prev 2026-05-29T19:04:53Z

<p>Created page with &quot;{{TabQ|nogags}} {{qf|<a href="/wiki/Lisa" class="mw-redirect" title="Lisa">Lisa</a>}} I&#039;m doing an assignment on World War Two. And I thought I could record you telling me your experiences in the army. {{qf|<a href="/wiki/Grampa" class="mw-redirect" title="Grampa">Grampa</a>}} You want...&quot;</p> <p><b>New page</b></p><div>{{TabQ|nogags}}<br /> <br /> {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} I'm doing an assignment on World War Two. And I thought I could record you telling me your experiences in the army.<br /> {{qf|[[Grampa]]}} You want to talk to me?<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} Yes.<br /> {{qf|Grampa}} You want to ask me questions and hear my answers?<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} Yes.<br /> {{qf|Grampa}} I'm the luckiest old man on Earth!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Grampa}} You want to know about the war, girly? Well, I'll tell you stuff you won't find in any history book. About how your ol' grampa saved a whole village from the Ratzis when I was a [[Flying Hellfish]]... Every day was a lead birthday with TNT candles on a cake made of pure hate. Our lives weren't worth two bits that night over [[France]] in 1944...<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Asa Phelps]]}} What is it, Simpson?<br /> {{qf|Abe}} My gal wrote me to tell me she's cheating on me with [[Clark Gable]].<br /> {{qf|[[Sheldon Skinner]]}} Gee, that stinks fella.<br /> {{qf|Abe}} And [[Humphrey Bogart]]. And [[John Wayne]]. And [[Gabby Hayes]]. And [[Shemp Howard]]. And...<br /> {{qf|[[Arnie Gumble]]}} Oh boy.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Grampa}} [[Ham Salad Hill]] was nothin' but a heapin' pile of pure suicide! The toughest of the tough and the bravest of the brave were sent to take it from Hitler's goons. [[Sgt. Brick and Crazy Company]]... [[Sgt. Furry and his Howling K-9 Kommandos]]... ...and [[the Whitehawks]]. They all came back looking like they'd gone ten rounds in a bagful of mean-drunk gorillas.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[George S. Patton]]}} I'd rather &amp;%#$ my $@#&amp; then send you &amp;@%$s into this battle. But all the good soldiers are dead or ran away!<br /> {{qf|[[Iggy Wiggum]]}} He sounds like [[Minnie Mouse]] in jodhpurs.<br /> {{qf|Arnie Gumble}} Hee hee!<br /> {{qf|General Patton}} What's so &amp;%#@in' funny?<br /> {{qf|Iggy Wiggum}} Ow!<br /> {{qf|Abe}} Ooh!<br /> {{qf|Arnie Gumble}} Wowtch!<br /> {{qf|Sheldon Skinner}} Eep!<br /> {{qf|General Patton}} Now get your &amp;%#$ up there and try not to trip over your own @&amp;$%!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Grampa}} The Hellfish loaded up with ammo, grenades, and sheer guts. We were gonna get to the top of Ham Salad Hill the only way we knew how.<br /> {{qf|Abe}} We give up!<br /> {{qf|[[Mr. Burns]]}} We'd like to capitulate please!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Abe}} Any of you squareheads know the lady in that photo?<br /> {{qf|[[The Iron Skull]]}} Ach! Those moonlit nights in der Hofbrau!<br /> {{qf|[[The Clockwork Nazi]]}} Oh ja! [KLIK] She made my glockenspiel!<br /> {{qf|[[The Terrycloth Major]]}} Lola Bonanza! Woooooo!<br /> {{qf|Abe}} That's all I needed to hear, ya philanderin' fascists! Grrrr!<br /> <br /> [[Category:Simpsons Comics stories quotes]]</div>

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