https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?action=history&feed=atom&title=VSI%3A_Valentine_Scene_Investigators%2FQuotes 2026-06-02T09:03:15Z Revision history for this page on the wiki MediaWiki 1.29.0 https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=VSI:_Valentine_Scene_Investigators/Quotes&diff=1464566&oldid=prev 2026-05-29T14:42:06Z

<p>Created page with &quot;{{TabQ|nogags}} {{qf|<a href="/wiki/Lisa" class="mw-redirect" title="Lisa">Lisa</a>}} Valentine&#039;s Day stinks! Everyone else has a valentine except me! {{qf|<a href="/wiki/Bart" class="mw-redirect" title="Bart">Bart</a>}} Cheer up, Lis. There&#039;s a few hours left before school lets ou...&quot;</p> <p><b>New page</b></p><div>{{TabQ|nogags}}<br /> <br /> {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Valentine's Day stinks! Everyone else has a valentine except me!<br /> {{qf|[[Bart]]}} Cheer up, Lis. There's a few hours left before school lets out. You'll probably get something before the end of the day.<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} Yeah right. Why would this year be any different than last? Look, Bart! It's a card for me!!! Can you believe it, Bart? Could someone actually want me to be their Valentine?<br /> {{qf|Bart}} It's either that or they put the card in the wrong Lisa's locker!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} There's no time to waste! If I'm going to learn my valentine's true identity before the end of the day, I have to get to work right away! It's time to break out my [[Junior C.S.I. Kit|Junior Crime Scene Investigation Kit]], complete with mirror sunglasses, windbreaker, and electrode wand that illuminates evidence and doubles as a night-lite! What do you say, Bart? Are you on the case with me?<br /> {{qf|Bart}} Love to, but if I'm late for [[Edna Krabappel|Miss Krabappel]]'s class one more time, it'll be me you find lying in a chalk outline! Later, Lis!<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} Then I'll need to organize a team of investigators who can be easily bribed to help me find my mystery man...<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} This is it: the only piece of evidence to sniff out my Valentine. It will take all of our talent, resources, and fortitude to solve this mystery. Can we do it?<br /> {{qf|[[Groundskeeper Willie]]}} Beats cleaning toilets.<br /> {{qf|[[Lunchlady Doris]]}} Or making tomorrows lunch.<br /> {{qf|[[nelson Muntz]]}} Anything is better than sitting in class!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|[[Kearney Zzyzwicz]]}} Indian rug burns? Sure, the day's not complete unless we've given one to some dork!<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} So who was your victim today?<br /> {{qf|[[Dolph Shapiro]]}} Well, there was the usual top o' the morning burn for Van Houten...<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Lunchlady Doris}} I compared the stains in your card to my sauces and determined that it's definitely the jambalaya!<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} Do you keep records of what kid chooses what sauce daily?<br /> {{qf|Lunchlady Doris}} What kind of lunchlady would I be if I didn't?<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} ...Martin Prince! Are you my secret Valentine?<br /> {{qf|[[Martin Prince]]}} Lisa, as much as it would please me to say yes, I'm afraid I've barely left the gym since I came to school this morning.<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} They won't let me into fourth grade until I pass the Presidential Fitness Test, and the only way to do that is by doing a single pull-up, which I still can't do!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} Well then who the heck wrote this stupid card?!?<br /> {{qf|Bart}} It was me, Lis...<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} Bart?! But you're my brother! I can't be your Valentine!!!<br /> {{qf|Bart}} No duh! But I couldn't let you be the only person in school who didn't have a Calentine... again! So I did what any decent big brother would do!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Nelson}} But how do you explain your ruddy handwriting?<br /> {{qf|Bart}} How soon we forget? You gave this Indian rug burn to me this morning on the bus!<br /> {{qf|Lunchlady Doris}} What about the jambalaya meatloaf? You didn't order that!<br /> {{qf|Bart}} No, but I was writing Lisa's card in the cafeteria, and when Martin tripped in the lunchroom, the jambalaya sauce splattered inside the card.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Nelson}} Haw Haw! Bart loves Lisa! They're each other's Valentines!<br /> {{qf|Bart}} Okay, now things are much worse.<br /> {{qf|Lisa}} Another Valentine's Day to forget!<br /> <br /> [[Category:Simpsons Winter Wingding stories quotes]]</div>

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