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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Keep Chalm and Gary On|Men Behaving Manly}}

{{qf|[[Squeaky-Voiced Teen]]}} I don't understand it. Whoever broke in here only took the grease we fry the doughnuts in.
{{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} Lard have mercy.
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{{qf|[[Mayor Quimby]]}} We are devastated by the tragic loss of the irreplaceable Chief Wiggum. We're replacing him with Lou.
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{{qf|[[Moe Szyslak]]}} I've spent my life in them pipes, panning for subway tokens and loose fillings. And over the years, youse people have turned my beautiful sewer into a cesspool. You pour your cooking grease and your animal fat down the drain. And over time, all that gloppy gunk stuck together and coagulated into what the legends call a [[Fatberg]]. Now, I'm just a simple turd-monger, but there's only one explanation-- that Fatberg got so big that it's got to feed, and it's on the hunt for more grease. And it's going to eat this whole lard-loving city if youse don't do something.
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{{qf|Mayor Quimby}} Cancel the state fair?
{{qf|Moe}} You got no cherce. The state fair is greasier than Lardi Gras and Crisco-mas combined.
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{{qf|[[Lou]]}} This is madness. If this walking port-a-potty is right and there is a monster down there, we can't risk our citizens' safety. I'm canceling the state fair under my authority as chief of police.
{{qf|Mayor Quimby}} Congratulations, Police Chief [[Eddie]]. I hereby declare the state fair open with the lighting of the first fryer.
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{{qf|Lou}} These fools, filling themselves with fried grease while there's a monster lurking underground. Don't they know they're tempting fat?
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{{qf|Lou}} The Fatberg had a heart attack. But how? It didn't have a heart.
{{qf|Moe}} Not even a creature of pure fat could handle what Homer Simpson was made of.
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{{qf|[[Krusty the Clown]]}} Hey, hey, kids! This is my first ever live [[Halloween]] special! But not because I'm desperate. Comedy audiences can't sense desperation, can they? Can they? Can they?!
{{qf|[[Martin Prince]]}} We can.
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{{qf|[[Bart]]}} A parody of ''The Exorcist''? ''[laughs]'' Now that's fresh!
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{{qf|{{ap|Devil|Treehouse of Horror XXXVI}}}} ''[through [[Mr. Teeny]]]'' I am Satan, and I have come for you.
{{qf|[[Sideshow Mel]]}} Oh, the chimp's allowed to improv, but I'm not? I was in the Groundlings Sunday Company for seven years!
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{{qf|[[Hal Julian]]}} Fantastic segment!
{{qf|Krusty}} A man was just maimed for life by a demonic monkey!
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{{qf|Krusty}} Who are you dressed up as, slugger?
{{qf|[[Milhouse Van Houten]]}} Why did the monkey rip the man's face off?
{{qf|[[Janey Powell]]}} Will the face go to heaven?
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{{qf|Bart}} ''[imitating [[Urkel]]]'' Did I do that?
{{qf|Devil}} You know you did do that!
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{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} I told Mom and Dad you were in league with Satan, but they didn't believe me!
{{qf|Devil}} Nobody likes a tattler.
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{{qf|Krusty}} I've never shown anyone this horrific tape... until today. But now that streaming has crushed the TV business, even the Devil can't save my show.
{{qf|Devil}} It is rough out there. I would hate to be starting today.
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{{qf|Narrator}} Amidst the post-aplasti-lyptic savagery, one visionary leader dreams of a sustainable future for humanity.
{{qf|Lisa}} Friends, ever since I lost my family in the avalanche of Diaper Genie Bag Mountain, I've found solace in the Good Book. The book teaches us that humans once grew real, organic food in a strange, dirty substance known as dirt. I truly believe that somewhere, underneath all the plastic, there is dirt. And that is why we dig.
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{{qf|Lisa}} ''[gasps]'' Seeds! Sunflower seeds. We can plant sunflowers. Corn nuts. We can grow corn. And [[Funyuns]], which must be a... fun type of onion.
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{{qf|Lisa}} Mom! Dad! How are you alive?
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} ''[chuckles]'' Funny story. We fell into a pool of searing hot nuclear waste. The molten radioactive plastic bonded with our DNA, months and months of horrible, indescribable agony, and, uh, here we are.
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} We're better than ever.
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{{qf|Marge}} There's food everywhere when you're a Plazz.
{{qf|Lisa}} "Plazz"? That sounds a little problematic.
{{qf|Homer}} We can call ourselves that, but you can't.
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{{qf|Lisa}} Oh, my God. Mom and Dad were plastic, but somehow they created new life. An innocent baby.
{{qf|Bart}} That should be easy to kill.

{{Season 37|Q}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Treehouse of Horror 36/Quotes}}

@@ Line 7: / Line 7: @@
 {{qf|[[Mayor Quimby]]}} We are devastated by the tragic loss of the irreplaceable Chief Wiggum. We're replacing him with Lou.
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-{{qf|[[Moe Szyslak]]}} I've spent my life in them pipes, panning for subway tokens and loose fillings. And over the years, youse people have turned my beautiful sewer into a cesspool. You pour your cooking grease and your animal fat down the drain. And over time, all that gloppy gunk stuck together and coagulated into what the legends call a [[Fatberg]]. Now, I'm just a simple turd-monger, but there's only one explanation-- that Fatberg got so big that it's got to feed, and it's on the hunt for more grease. And it's going to eat this whole lard-loving city if youse don't do something.
+{{qf|[[Moe Szyslak]]}} I've spent my life in them pipes, panning for subway tokens and loose fillings. And over the years, youse people have turned my beautiful sewer into a cesspool. You pour your cooking grease and your animal fat down the drain. And over time, all that gloppy gunk stuck together and coagulated into what the legends call a [[Fatberg]]. Now, I'm just a simple turd-monger, but there's only one explanation—that Fatberg got so big that it's got to feed, and it's on the hunt for more grease. And it's going to eat this whole lard-loving city if youse don't do something.
 ----
 {{qf|Mayor Quimby}} Cancel the state fair?

Treehouse of Horror XXXVI/Quotes - Revision history

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