Treehouse of Horror/Quotes - Revision history

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Solar Dragon at 16:06, September 6, 2018

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SolarBot at 13:35, April 11, 2014

2014-04-11T13:35:14Z

SolarBot: replaced: {{Season 2 Q}} → {{Season 2|Q}}

2012-08-27T18:13:53Z

replaced: {{Season 2 Q}} → {{Season 2|Q}}

Tipota at 13:56, November 20, 2010

2010-11-20T13:56:37Z

Effluvium at 22:00, May 22, 2010

2010-05-22T22:00:18Z

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{{TabQ
|episode=Treehouse of Horror
}}
:'''Marge''': I'm not going to live in a house of evil just to save a few dollars!
----
:'''Evil Spirit''': Get out.
:'''Marge''': What on earth was that?
:'''Homer''': Probably just the house settling.
----
(Lisa finishes reading The Raven.)
:'''Bart''': Lisa, that wasn't scary, not even for a poem.
:'''Lisa''': Well, it was written in 1845. Maybe people were easier to scare back then.
:'''Bart''': Oh, yeah. Like when you look at Friday the 13th, part one. It's pretty tame by today's standards.
---
(Kang shows off his TV to the Simpsons.)
:'''Kang''': On this cable system, we receive over one million channels from the furthest reaches of the galaxy.
:'''Bart''': You get HBO?
:'''Kang''': No. That would cost extra.
----
(In the evil house, Marge catches the rest of the family trying to kill each other with knives.)
:'''Marge''': That does it. Children, get dressed. We're leaving.
:'''Homer''': Come on, Marge. You said you'd sleep on it.
:'''Marge''': I don't care what I said. This family has had its differences and we've squabbled, but we've never had knife fights before, and I blame this house.
----
(Lisa confronts Kang and Kodos.)
:'''Lisa''': Well, why were you trying to make us eat all the time?
:'''Kang''': Make you eat? We merely provided a sumptuous banquet. Frankly, you people made pigs of yourselves.
:'''Serak the Preparer''': (Crying) I slaved in the kitchen for days for you people. And…
:'''Kang''': Well, if you wanted to make Serak the Preparer cry, mission accomplished. [edit]
----
(With his mouth full of food, Homer stands up for his family.)
:'''Homer''': Listen, you big, stupid space creature, nobody, but nobody, eats the Simpsons!
----
(Serak the Preparer provides the Simpson family with a bounty of food.)
:'''Marge''': Well, thank you very much, Mr.--
:'''Serak the Preparer''': To pronounce it correctly, I would have to pull out your tongue.
----
(Homer barbeques on the back patio.)
:'''Marge''': (Groans) Homer, all these flies.
:'''Homer''': Not to worry. I'll just turn on the trusty bug zapper.
(The sound of a few bugs being zapped is then followed by a large zapping noise.)
:'''Homer''': Ooh, that was a big mama! (Chuckles) [edit]
----
(In “Bad Dream House,” the House talks to Bart in its ghoulish voice.)
:'''Evil Spirit''': They are all against you, Bart. You must kill them all. They all must die.
:'''Bart''': Are you my conscience?
:'''Evil Spirit''': I--Yes, I am.
----
(Homer convinces the family to stay in the “Bad Dream House.”)
:'''Homer''': Now, wait a minute, Marge. It’s only natural there’d be some things wrong with an old house like this. It’s a fixer-upper. What’s the problem? We get a bunch of priests in here--
:'''Marge''': I’m not going to live in a house of evil just to save a few dollars.
:'''Homer''': Don't be so stubborn! We're not talking about a few dollars.
(Homer slowly begins floating to the ceiling.)
:'''Homer''': We're talking about a few thousand dollars!
(Homer realizes that he is floating upwards and begins screaming.)
:'''Homer''': It’s got great high ceilings!
(Homer screams as he suddenly plunges back to the floor.)
:'''Homer''': Tell you what. Let’s, uh, sleep on it, okay?
----
(Homer throws an orange into a vortex and it disappears.)
:'''Homer''': Hey, pretty slick!
(A crumpled wad of paper flies back out of the vortex and Lisa reads it.)
:'''Lisa''': "Quit throwing your garbage into our dimension."
----
(In “Bad Dream House,” the man from the moving company finishes unloading the Simpsons’ things.)
:'''Moving Man''': That’s all of it. Sign here!
(Homer signs a paper on a clipboard.)
:'''Homer''': There you are my man. And a dollar for yourself.
:'''Moving Man''': (Muttering to himself.) A buck. I'm glad there's a curse on this place.
:'''Homer''': Huh?
----
(A scene from “The Raven.”)
:'''Homer''': (Chuckles) Though thy crest by shorn and shaven, thou--
:'''Narrator''': I said.
:'''Homer''': --art sure no craven, ghastly, grim and ancient Raven wandering from the nightly shore--Tell me. Tell me what thy lordly name is on the night’s Plutonian shore!
:'''Narrator''': Quoth the Raven.
:'''Bart''': (Interrupting) Eat my shorts!
:'''Lisa''': Bart, stop it! He says "nevermore." And that's all he'll ever say.
:'''Bart''': Okay, okay.
----
(In “Bad Dream House” Homer calls up his realtor after he finds out the house was built on an Indian burial ground.)
:'''Homer''': Mr. Ploot, Homer Simpson here. When you sold me this house, you forgot to mention one little thing. You didn’t tell me it was built on an Indian burial ground! (Pause) No, you didn’t! (Pause) Well, that's not my recollection! (Pause) Yeah? Well, all right, goodbye!
(Homer hangs up the phone and turns to his family.)
:'''Homer''': He says he mentioned it five or six times.
----
(Kang and Kodos show off the amenities on their spaceship.)
:'''Kang''': And over here is our crowning achievement in amusement technology: an electronic version of what you call table tennis.
(Kang shows off a video screen that features the vintage video game Pong.)
:'''Kang''': Your primitive paddles have been replaced by an electronic--
:'''Bart''': Hey, that's just Pong. Get with the times, man.
:'''Homer''': Marge and I played that old game before we were married.
:'''Kang''': Well, we did build this spaceship, you know.
:'''Kodos''': Anyone from a species that has mastered intergalactic travel, raise your hand.
(Kang and Kodos each raise a tentacle. Bart raises his hand, but Homer slaps it down.)
:'''Kodos''': All right, then.
:'''Marge''': Sorry. Your game is very nice.
----
(At the end of “Bad Dream House,” the aforementioned house destroys itself.)
:'''Lisa''': It chose to destroy itself rather than live with us. You can't help but feel a little rejected.

{{Season 2 Q}}

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@@ Line 37: / Line 37: @@
 {{qf|[[Serak the Preparer]]}} Here you go, earthlings. Take all you want. Eat all you take.
 {{qf|Marge}} Well, thank you very much, Mr....?
-{{qf|Serak}} To pronouce it correctly, I would have to pull out your tongue.
+{{qf|Serak}} To pronounce it correctly, I would have to pull out your tongue.
 ----
 {{qf|Kang}} On this cable system we receive over one million channels from the furthest reaches of the galaxy.

@@ Line 2: / Line 2: @@
 {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Simpson and Delilah|Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish}}
-:'''[[Marge]]:''' Hello, everyone. You know, [[Halloween]] is a very strange holiday. Personally, I don't understand it. Kids worshiping ghosts, pretending to be devils... things on T.V. that are completely inappropriate for younger viewers. Things like the following half hour. Nothing seems to bother my kids, but tonight's show, which I totally wash my hands of, is really scary, so if you have sensitive children, maybe you should tuck them into bed early tonight, instead of writing us angry letters tomorrow. Thanks for your attention.
+{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Hello, everyone. You know, [[Halloween]] is a very strange holiday. Personally, I don't understand it. Kids worshiping ghosts, pretending to be devils... things on T.V. that are completely inappropriate for younger viewers. Things like the following half hour. Nothing seems to bother my kids, but tonight's show, which I totally wash my hands of, is really scary, so if you have sensitive children, maybe you should tuck them into bed early tonight, instead of writing us angry letters tomorrow. Thanks for your attention.
 ----
-:'''[[Homer]]:''' There you are, my man. And a dollar for yourself.
+{{qf|[[Homer]]}} There you are, my man. And a dollar for yourself.
-:'''[[Removalist]]:''' A buck! I'm glad there's a curse on this place.
+{{qf|[[Removalist]]}} A buck! I'm glad there's a curse on this place.
-:'''Homer:''' Huh?
+{{qf|Homer}} Huh?
 ----
-:'''[[Lisa]]:''' Ow! Mom! Bart threw a book at me.
+{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Ow! Mom! Bart threw a book at me.
-:'''[[Bart]]:''' Did not.
+{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Did not.
-:'''Lisa:''' Did, too.
+{{qf|Lisa}} Did, too.
-:'''Bart:''' Did not.
+{{qf|Bart}} Did not.
-:'''Lisa:''' Did, too.
+{{qf|Lisa}} Did, too.
-:'''[[Evil House]]:''' Get out!
+{{qf|[[Evil House]]}} Get out!
-:'''Marge:''' What on earth was that?
+{{qf|Marge}} What on earth was that?
-:'''Homer:''' Probably just the house settling.
+{{qf|Homer}} Probably just the house settling.
 ----
-:'''Homer:''' It's only natural there would be some things wrong with an old house like this. It's a fixer-upper. What's the problem? We get a bunch of priests in here...
+{{qf|Homer}} It's only natural there would be some things wrong with an old house like this. It's a fixer-upper. What's the problem? We get a bunch of priests in here...
 ----
-:'''Marge:''' This family has had its differences, and we've squabbled, but we never had knife fights before... and I blame this house.
+{{qf|Marge}} This family has had its differences, and we've squabbled, but we never had knife fights before... and I blame this house.
 ----
-:'''Homer:''' ''[angry]'' Mr. Ploot? Homer Simpson here. When you sold me this house you forgot to mention one little thing. You didn't tell me it was built on an Indian burial ground. No you didn't! Well, that's not my recollection... Yeah! Well... all right, goodbye. He says he mentioned it five or six times.
+{{qf|Homer}} ''[angry]'' Mr. Ploot? Homer Simpson here. When you sold me this house you forgot to mention one little thing. You didn't tell me it was built on an Indian burial ground. No you didn't! Well, that's not my recollection... Yeah! Well... all right, goodbye. He says he mentioned it five or six times.
 ----
-:'''Evil House:''' You will die, you will die slowly. Your stomach will swell, your intestines will writhe and boil, your eyes will burst; and some horrible stuff, possibly your brains, will start coming out through your nose...
+{{qf|Evil House}} You will die, you will die slowly. Your stomach will swell, your intestines will writhe and boil, your eyes will burst; and some horrible stuff, possibly your brains, will start coming out through your nose...
 ----
-:'''Lisa:''' Why are you trying to scare us? Are you trying to keep us from getting close to you... maybe even loving you?
+{{qf|Lisa}} Why are you trying to scare us? Are you trying to keep us from getting close to you... maybe even loving you?
 ----
-:'''Lisa:''' It chose to destroy itself rather than live with us. You can't help but feel a little rejected.
+{{qf|Lisa}} It chose to destroy itself rather than live with us. You can't help but feel a little rejected.
 ----
-:'''[[Kang]]:''' Greetings Earthlings, I am Kang. Do not be frightened. We mean you no harm.
+{{qf|[[Kang]]}} Greetings Earthlings, I am Kang. Do not be frightened. We mean you no harm.
-:'''Marge:''' You... you speak English.
+{{qf|Marge}} You... you speak English.
-:'''Kang:''' I am actually speaking Rigelian. By an astonishing coincidence, both of our languages are exactly the same.
+{{qf|Kang}} I am actually speaking Rigelian. By an astonishing coincidence, both of our languages are exactly the same.
-:'''Bart:''' Well, what are you gonna do with us, man?
+{{qf|Bart}} Well, what are you gonna do with us, man?
-:'''Kang:''' [[Kodos]] and I are taking you to Rigel Four. A world of infinite delights to tantalize your senses and challenge your intellectual limitations...
+{{qf|Kang}} [[Kodos]] and I are taking you to Rigel Four. A world of infinite delights to tantalize your senses and challenge your intellectual limitations...
 ----
-:'''[[Serak the Preparer]]:''' Here you go, earthlings. Take all you want. Eat all you take.
+{{qf|[[Serak the Preparer]]}} Here you go, earthlings. Take all you want. Eat all you take.
-:'''Marge:''' Well, thank you very much, Mr....?
+{{qf|Marge}} Well, thank you very much, Mr....?
-:'''Serak:''' To pronouce it correctly, I would have to pull out your tongue.
+{{qf|Serak}} To pronouce it correctly, I would have to pull out your tongue.
 ----
-:'''Kang:''' On this cable system we receive over one million channels from the furthest reaches of the galaxy.
+{{qf|Kang}} On this cable system we receive over one million channels from the furthest reaches of the galaxy.
-:'''Bart:''' Do you get HBO?
+{{qf|Bart}} Do you get HBO?
-:'''Kang:''' No, that would cost extra.
+{{qf|Kang}} No, that would cost extra.
 ----
-:'''Kang:''' And over here is our crowning achievement in amusement technology. An electronic version of what you call table tennis. Your primitive paddles have been replaced by an electronic...
+{{qf|Kang}} And over here is our crowning achievement in amusement technology. An electronic version of what you call table tennis. Your primitive paddles have been replaced by an electronic...
-:'''Bart:''' Hey, that's just ''[[Pong]]''! Get with the times, man.
+{{qf|Bart}} Hey, that's just ''[[Pong]]''! Get with the times, man.
-:'''Homer:''' Marge and I played that old game before we were married.
+{{qf|Homer}} Marge and I played that old game before we were married.
-:'''Kang:''' Well, we did build this space ship, you know?
+{{qf|Kang}} Well, we did build this space ship, you know?
-:'''Kodos:''' Anyone from a species that has mastered intergalactic travel, raise your hand.
+{{qf|Kodos}} Anyone from a species that has mastered intergalactic travel, raise your hand.
 ----
-:'''Homer:''' Listen, you big stupid space creature. Nobody, but nobody eats the Simpsons.
+{{qf|Homer}} Listen, you big stupid space creature. Nobody, but nobody eats the Simpsons.
 ----
-:'''Kang:''' We offered you paradise. You would have experienced emotions a hundred times greater than what you call love, and a thousand times greater than what you call fun. You would have been treated like gods and lived forever in beauty. But, now because of your distrustful nature, that can never be.
+{{qf|Kang}} We offered you paradise. You would have experienced emotions a hundred times greater than what you call love, and a thousand times greater than what you call fun. You would have been treated like gods and lived forever in beauty. But, now because of your distrustful nature, that can never be.
-:'''Marge:''' For a superior race, they really rub it in.
+{{qf|Marge}} For a superior race, they really rub it in.
 ----
-:'''Bart:''' Hey, Poindexter. It's Halloween, put the book away.
+{{qf|Bart}} Hey, Poindexter. It's Halloween, put the book away.
-:'''Lisa:''' For your information, I'm about to read you a classic tale of terror by {{Ch|Edgar Allan Poe}}.
+{{qf|Lisa}} For your information, I'm about to read you a classic tale of terror by {{Ch|Edgar Allan Poe}}.
-:'''Bart:''' Wait a minute. That's a schoolbook.
+{{qf|Bart}} Wait a minute. That's a schoolbook.
-:'''Lisa:''' Don't worry, Bart. You won't learn anything.
+{{qf|Lisa}} Don't worry, Bart. You won't learn anything.
 ----
-:'''[[The Raven narrator]]:''' Here I opened wide the door; --
+{{qf|[[The Raven narrator]]}} Here I opened wide the door; --
-:'''Bart:''' This better be good.
+{{qf|Bart}} This better be good.
-:'''Narrator:''' Darkness there and nothing more.
+{{qf|Narrator}} Darkness there and nothing more.
-:'''Bart:''' You know what would have been scarier than nothing?
+{{qf|Bart}} You know what would have been scarier than nothing?
-:'''Lisa:''' What?
+{{qf|Lisa}} What?
-:'''Bart:''' Anything!
+{{qf|Bart}} Anything!
 ----
-:'''Narrator:''' Quoth the Raven,
+{{qf|Narrator}} Quoth the Raven,
-:'''Bart:''' Eat my shorts!
+{{qf|Bart}} Eat my shorts!
-:'''Lisa:''' Bart! Stop it. He says "nevermore". That's all he'll ever say.
+{{qf|Lisa}} Bart! Stop it. He says "nevermore". That's all he'll ever say.
 {{Season 2|Q}}

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	{{EpisodePrevNextQuo\|Simpson and Delilah\|Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish}}		{{EpisodePrevNextQuo\|Simpson and Delilah\|Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish}}

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:13, August 27, 2012
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	:'''Lisa''': It chose to destroy itself rather than live with us. You can't help but feel a little rejected.		:'''Lisa''': It chose to destroy itself rather than live with us. You can't help but feel a little rejected.

−	{{Season 2 Q}}	+	{{Season 2\|Q}}

@@ Line 2: / Line 2: @@
 {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Simpson and Delilah|Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish}}
 :'''Evil Spirit''': Get out.
 :'''Marge''': What on earth was that?
@@ Line 48: / Line 46: @@
 ----
 (Homer convinces the family to stay in the “Bad Dream House.”)
-:'''Homer''': Now, wait a minute, Marge. It’s only natural there’d be some things wrong with an old house like this. It’s a fixer-upper. What’s the problem? We get a bunch of priests in here--
+:'''Homer''': Now, wait a minute, Marge. It’s only natural there'd be some things wrong with an old house like this. It’s a fixer-upper. What’s the problem? We get a bunch of priests in here--
 :'''Marge''': I’m not going to live in a house of evil just to save a few dollars.
 :'''Homer''': Don't be so stubborn! We're not talking about a few dollars.

@@ Line 2: / Line 2: @@
 |episode=Treehouse of Horror
 }}
 :'''Marge''': I'm not going to live in a house of evil just to save a few dollars!
 ----

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 {{TabQ
 |episode=Treehouse of Horror
 }}
 :'''Marge''': I'm not going to live in a house of evil just to save a few dollars!
 ----
@@ Line 12: / Line 12: @@
 :'''Lisa''': Well, it was written in 1845. Maybe people were easier to scare back then.
 :'''Bart''': Oh, yeah. Like when you look at Friday the 13th, part one. It's pretty tame by today's standards.
----
+----
 (Kang shows off his TV to the Simpsons.)
 :'''Kang''': On this cable system, we receive over one million channels from the furthest reaches of the galaxy.
@@ Line 28: / Line 28: @@
 :'''Serak the Preparer''': (Crying) I slaved in the kitchen for days for you people. And…
 :'''Kang''': Well, if you wanted to make Serak the Preparer cry, mission accomplished. [edit]
 ----
 (With his mouth full of food, Homer stands up for his family.)
 :'''Homer''': Listen, you big, stupid space creature, nobody, but nobody, eats the Simpsons!
@@ Line 35: / Line 35: @@
 :'''Marge''': Well, thank you very much, Mr.--
 :'''Serak the Preparer''': To pronounce it correctly, I would have to pull out your tongue.
 ----
 (Homer barbeques on the back patio.)
 :'''Marge''': (Groans) Homer, all these flies.
@@ Line 41: / Line 41: @@
 (The sound of a few bugs being zapped is then followed by a large zapping noise.)
 :'''Homer''': Ooh, that was a big mama! (Chuckles) [edit]
 ----
 (In “Bad Dream House,” the House talks to Bart in its ghoulish voice.)
 :'''Evil Spirit''': They are all against you, Bart. You must kill them all. They all must die.
 :'''Bart''': Are you my conscience?
 :'''Evil Spirit''': I--Yes, I am.
 ----
 (Homer convinces the family to stay in the “Bad Dream House.”)
 :'''Homer''': Now, wait a minute, Marge. It’s only natural there’d be some things wrong with an old house like this. It’s a fixer-upper. What’s the problem? We get a bunch of priests in here--