https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?action=history&feed=atom&title=Thursdays_with_Abie%2FQuotes 2026-04-18T10:46:20Z Revision history for this page on the wiki MediaWiki 1.29.0 https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=Thursdays_with_Abie/Quotes&diff=918524&oldid=prev 2020-03-31T12:27:46Z

<p></p> <table class="diff diff-contentalign-left" data-mw="interface"> <col class='diff-marker' /> <col class='diff-content' /> <col class='diff-marker' /> <col class='diff-content' /> <tr style='vertical-align: top;' lang='en'> <td colspan='2' style="background-color: white; color:black; text-align: center;">← Older revision</td> <td colspan='2' style="background-color: white; color:black; text-align: center;">Revision as of 12:27, March 31, 2020</td> </tr><tr><td colspan="2" class="diff-lineno" id="mw-diff-left-l2" >Line 2:</td> <td colspan="2" class="diff-lineno">Line 2:</td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>&#160;</td><td style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #333333; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #e6e6e6; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Oh Brother, Where Bart Thou?|Once Upon a Time in Springfield}}</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>&#160;</td><td style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #333333; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #e6e6e6; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Oh Brother, Where Bart Thou?|Once Upon a Time in Springfield}}</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>&#160;</td><td style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #333333; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #e6e6e6; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td><td class='diff-marker'>&#160;</td><td style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #333333; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #e6e6e6; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:'''</del>[[Marshall Goldman]]<del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:''' </del>Sir, my name is Marshall Goldman. I'm a newspaper columnist specializing in human interest stories.</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">{{qf|</ins>[[Marshall Goldman]]<ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">}} </ins>Sir, my name is Marshall Goldman. I'm a newspaper columnist specializing in human interest stories.</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:'''</del>[[Grampa]]<del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:''' </del>You're in the newspaper business? Something that's gonna die before I do!</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">{{qf|</ins>[[Grampa]]<ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">}} </ins>You're in the newspaper business? Something that's gonna die before I do!</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:'''[[</del>Marshall Goldman<del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">]]:''' </del>You have any other stories you'd care to tell me?</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">{{qf|</ins>Marshall Goldman<ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">}} </ins>You have any other stories you'd care to tell me?</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:'''[[</del>Grampa<del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">]]:''' </del>Someone's listening to me!</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">{{qf|</ins>Grampa<ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">}} </ins>Someone's listening to me!</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:'''[[</del>Marshall Goldman<del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">]]:''' </del>Now I know how a radio feels!</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">{{qf|</ins>Marshall Goldman<ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">}} </ins>Now I know how a radio feels!</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>&#160;</td><td style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #333333; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #e6e6e6; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>----</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>&#160;</td><td style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #333333; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #e6e6e6; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>----</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:'''</del>[[Bart]]<del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:''' </del>Oh, not that stupid stuffed lamb again. This isn't learning!</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">{{qf|</ins>[[Bart]]<ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">}} </ins>Oh, not that stupid stuffed lamb again. This isn't learning!</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:'''</del>[[Edna]]<del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:''' </del>Do you want to learn?</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">{{qf|</ins>[[Edna <ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">Krabappel</ins>]]<ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">}} </ins>Do you want to learn?</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:'''[[Bart]]:''' No, no, no. I'm just saying..</del>.</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">{{qf|Mrs</ins>. <ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">Krabappel}} </ins>This weekend, Larry will go home with...</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:'''[[Edna]]:''' </del>This weekend, Larry will go home with...</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">{{qf|</ins>[[Nelson]]<ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">}} </ins>Please, God, I need this.</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:'''</del>[[Nelson]]<del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:''' </del>Please, God, I need this.</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">{{qf|Mrs. Krabappel}} </ins>...Bart Simpson.</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:'''[[Edna]]:''' </del>...Bart Simpson.</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">{{qf|</ins>[[Martin]]<ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">}} </ins>Oh, cruel irony!</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:'''</del>[[Martin]]<del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:''' </del>Oh, cruel irony!</div></td><td colspan="2">&#160;</td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>&#160;</td><td style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #333333; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #e6e6e6; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>----</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>&#160;</td><td style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #333333; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #e6e6e6; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>----</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:'''</del>[[Homer]]<del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:''' </del>How come Grampa never shared those stories with us?</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">{{qf|</ins>[[Homer]]<ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">}} </ins>How come Grampa never shared those stories with us?</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:'''</del>[[Marge]]<del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:''' </del>He does all the time. You just never listen.</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">{{qf|</ins>[[Marge]]<ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">}} </ins>He does all the time. You just never listen.</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:'''[[</del>Homer<del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">]]:''' </del>Marge, my brain is like a computer, and I file away Grampa's stories in a very special place.</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">{{qf|</ins>Homer<ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">}} </ins>Marge, my brain is like a computer, and I file away Grampa's stories in a very special place.</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>&#160;</td><td style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #333333; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #e6e6e6; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>----</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>&#160;</td><td style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #333333; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #e6e6e6; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>----</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:'''[[</del>Homer<del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">]]:''' </del>Dad, I don't have the right words to say how I really feel about you, but at least I know how to beat up a guy who does.</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">{{qf|</ins>Homer<ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">}} </ins>Dad, I don't have the right words to say how I really feel about you, but at least I know how to beat up a guy who does.</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:'''[[</del>Grampa<del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">]]:''' </del>Well, at least you never tried to kill me.</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">{{qf|</ins>Grampa<ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">}} </ins>Well, at least you never tried to kill me.</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>&#160;</td><td style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #333333; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #e6e6e6; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>----</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>&#160;</td><td style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #333333; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #e6e6e6; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>----</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:'''</del>[[Lisa]]<del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:''' </del>Bart! If you're not gonna take care of him right, then give him to me.</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">{{qf|</ins>[[Lisa]]<ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">}} </ins>Bart! If you're not gonna take care of him right, then give him to me.</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:'''[[</del>Bart<del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">]]:''' </del>How come you don't get mad when I torment real animals?</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">{{qf|</ins>Bart<ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">}} </ins>How come you don't get mad when I torment real animals?</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:'''[[</del>Lisa<del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">]]:''' </del>I do! It enrages me!</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">{{qf|</ins>Lisa<ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">}} </ins>I do! It enrages me!</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:'''[[</del>Bart<del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">]]:''' </del>I thought you Hindus were supposed to love everybody.</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">{{qf|</ins>Bart<ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">}} </ins>I thought you Hindus were supposed to love everybody.</div></td></tr> <tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">:'''[[</del>Lisa<del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">]]:''' </del>I'm a freaking Buddhist! A Buddhist!</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">{{qf|</ins>Lisa<ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">}} </ins>I'm a freaking Buddhist! A Buddhist!</div></td></tr> <tr><td colspan="2">&#160;</td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>&#160;</div></td></tr> <tr><td colspan="2">&#160;</td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color:black; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">{{Season 21|Q}}</ins></div></td></tr> </table>

Solar Dragon https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=Thursdays_with_Abie/Quotes&diff=582177&oldid=prev 2013-11-23T19:45:33Z

<p>Created page with &quot;{{TabQ}} {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Oh Brother, Where Bart Thou?|Once Upon a Time in Springfield}} :&#039;&#039;&#039;<a href="/wiki/Marshall_Goldman" title="Marshall Goldman">Marshall Goldman</a>:&#039;&#039;&#039; Sir, my name is Marshall Goldman. I&#039;m a newspaper co...&quot;</p> <p><b>New page</b></p><div>{{TabQ}}<br /> {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Oh Brother, Where Bart Thou?|Once Upon a Time in Springfield}}<br /> <br /> :'''[[Marshall Goldman]]:''' Sir, my name is Marshall Goldman. I'm a newspaper columnist specializing in human interest stories.<br /> :'''[[Grampa]]:''' You're in the newspaper business? Something that's gonna die before I do!<br /> :'''[[Marshall Goldman]]:''' You have any other stories you'd care to tell me?<br /> :'''[[Grampa]]:''' Someone's listening to me!<br /> :'''[[Marshall Goldman]]:''' Now I know how a radio feels!<br /> ----<br /> :'''[[Bart]]:''' Oh, not that stupid stuffed lamb again. This isn't learning!<br /> :'''[[Edna]]:''' Do you want to learn?<br /> :'''[[Bart]]:''' No, no, no. I'm just saying...<br /> :'''[[Edna]]:''' This weekend, Larry will go home with...<br /> :'''[[Nelson]]:''' Please, God, I need this.<br /> :'''[[Edna]]:''' ...Bart Simpson.<br /> :'''[[Martin]]:''' Oh, cruel irony!<br /> ----<br /> :'''[[Homer]]:''' How come Grampa never shared those stories with us?<br /> :'''[[Marge]]:''' He does all the time. You just never listen.<br /> :'''[[Homer]]:''' Marge, my brain is like a computer, and I file away Grampa's stories in a very special place.<br /> ----<br /> :'''[[Homer]]:''' Dad, I don't have the right words to say how I really feel about you, but at least I know how to beat up a guy who does.<br /> :'''[[Grampa]]:''' Well, at least you never tried to kill me.<br /> ----<br /> :'''[[Lisa]]:''' Bart! If you're not gonna take care of him right, then give him to me.<br /> :'''[[Bart]]:''' How come you don't get mad when I torment real animals?<br /> :'''[[Lisa]]:''' I do! It enrages me!<br /> :'''[[Bart]]:''' I thought you Hindus were supposed to love everybody.<br /> :'''[[Lisa]]:''' I'm a freaking Buddhist! A Buddhist!</div>

AleWi