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<p>Created page with &quot;{{TabQ|ngcr}} {{qf|Narrator}} The Springfield Iron Man competition was won by Police Chief <a href="/wiki/Clancy_Wiggum" title="Clancy Wiggum">Clancy Wiggum</a>, who pulled a 2-ton truck 150 feet in 46 seconds. However, his tr...&quot;</p> <p><b>New page</b></p><div>{{TabQ|ngcr}}<br /> <br /> {{qf|Narrator}} The Springfield Iron Man competition was won by Police Chief [[Clancy Wiggum]], who pulled a 2-ton truck 150 feet in 46 seconds. However, his trophy was later rescinded, when somebody noticed he was just a pathetic fat guy motivated by an addiction to tasty snack treats.<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Narrator}} The annual Springfield Slalom Race was won by Nelson Muntz, who used Milhouse Van Houten as a human bobsled!<br /> {{qf|[[Milhouse Van Houten]]}} The ice is ripping my skin!<br /> {{qf|[[Nelson Muntz]]}} More luge, less talk, dork!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Narrator}} Springfield's own [[Patty]] and [[Selma Bouvier]] have won the National Department of Motor Vehicles' tag-team wrestling trophy for five years running due to forfeit of all other competition!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Narrator}} Due to their ability to calculate the thrust, angle and curve factors of ball/alley ratios, the Springfield Junior Achievers have won the tri-state youth bowling competition three years in a row despite the fact they each can barely lift their bowling balls and all throw like sissies!<br /> ----<br /> {{qf|Narrator}} Heavyweight champ [[Drederick Tatum]] celebrated his 1,000th T.K.O. this week. Sadly, it was not in the boxing ring, but during a motivational talk at [[Springfield Elementary School]]!<br /> <br /> [[Category:Comic strips quotes]]</div>

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