There's Something About Marrying/Quotes - Revision history

SolarBot: /* top */replaced: Captain McAllister → Captain McCallister (2)

2022-03-13T13:58:35Z

‎top: replaced: Captain McAllister → Captain McCallister (2)

SolarBot: /* top */replaced: Julio → Julio Franco

2021-12-15T00:07:47Z

‎top: replaced: Julio → Julio Franco

Abbot: Bot: rearranging links (code: quotes)

2019-08-20T17:07:51Z

Bot: rearranging links (code: quotes)

2F13: major reformatting, linking

2019-08-20T17:07:44Z

major reformatting, linking

Show changes

Abbot: Bot: changing parenthesis to bracket, formatting, applying template Qf (code: quotes)

2019-08-20T12:18:24Z

Bot: changing parenthesis to bracket, formatting, applying template Qf (code: quotes)

SolarBot at 10:48, September 1, 2012

2012-09-01T10:48:01Z

MrJoshbumstead at 20:23, May 9, 2012

2012-05-09T20:23:43Z

Solar Dragon at 22:48, November 19, 2010

2010-11-19T22:48:17Z

Solar Dragon at 22:47, November 19, 2010

2010-11-19T22:47:45Z

Solar Dragon at 22:47, November 19, 2010

2010-11-19T22:47:23Z

@@ Line 54: / Line 54: @@
 {{qf|Woman}} Poetry slams!
 {{qf|Barney}} Giant rats!
-:''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Captain McAllister]] gets up.]''
+:''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Captain McCallister]] gets up.]''
-{{qf|Lisa}} I have a real suggestion. ''[Captain McAllister sits back down with a swordfish]'' Why don't we legalize same-sex marriage? We can attract a growing segment of the marriage market and strike a blow for civil rights.
+{{qf|Lisa}} I have a real suggestion. ''[Captain McCallister sits back down with a swordfish]'' Why don't we legalize same-sex marriage? We can attract a growing segment of the marriage market and strike a blow for civil rights.
 {{qf|[[Moe]]}} Yeah, them gay guys got lots of disposable income. I could serve fancy drinks and charge ten bucks a pop. What's in a martini?
 {{qf|[[Sideshow Mel]]}} Gin and vermouth.

@@ Line 32: / Line 32: @@
 ----
 {{qf|Homer}} And do you Julio take [[Thad]] to be your lawfully wedded life partner, in Massachusetts and Vermont, maybe Canada, stay out of Texas, for as long as you both are Gay?
-{{qf|[[Julio]]}} ''[lovingly]'' I do.
+{{qf|[[Julio Franco]]}} ''[lovingly]'' I do.
 ----
 {{qf|[[Patty]]}} Hey, saturated fats, I came to ask you a favor.

@@ Line 10: / Line 10: @@
 {{qf|Phone}} You've reached FOX. If you're pitching a show where gold-digging skanks get what's coming to them, press 1. If you're pitching a rip-off of another network's reality show, press 2. Please stay on the line - your half-baked ideas are all we've got.
 ----
-{{qf|Rev. Lovejoy}} While I have no opinion for or against your sinful lifestyles, I cannot marry two people of the same sex no more than I can put a hamburger on a hotdog bun. Now, go back to working behind the scenes at every facet of entertainment!
+{{qf|[[Rev. Lovejoy]]}} While I have no opinion for or against your sinful lifestyles, I cannot marry two people of the same sex no more than I can put a hamburger on a hotdog bun. Now, go back to working behind the scenes at every facet of entertainment!
 {{qf|[[Marge]]}} Excuse me, Reverend.
-{{qf|[[Rev. Lovejoy]]}} Yes?
+{{qf|Rev. Lovejoy}} Yes?
 {{qf|Marge}} As long as two people love each other, I don't think [[God]] cares whether they both have the same "hoo-hoo" or "ha-ha".
 {{qf|[[Nelson]]}} Ha-ha!
@@ Line 53: / Line 53: @@
 {{qf|[[Carl]]}} Gladiator fights!
 {{qf|Woman}} Poetry slams!
-{{qf|[[Barney]]}} Giant rats!
+{{qf|Barney}} Giant rats!
 :''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Captain McAllister]] gets up.]''
 {{qf|Lisa}} I have a real suggestion. ''[Captain McAllister sits back down with a swordfish]'' Why don't we legalize same-sex marriage? We can attract a growing segment of the marriage market and strike a blow for civil rights.

@@ Line 3: / Line 3: @@
 {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Pranksta Rap|On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister}}
-'''[[Barney]]:''' Now as the Road Runner said to the Coyote [he jumps] Meep Meep! [he zips off]
+{{qf|[[Barney]]}} Now as the Road Runner said to the Coyote ''[he jumps]'' Meep Meep! ''[he zips off]''
 ----
-'''[[Disco Stu]]:''' Disco Stu just got an annulment from John Paul Two. Boogie down!
+{{qf|[[Disco Stu]]}} Disco Stu just got an annulment from John Paul Two. Boogie down!
 ----
-'''Bart:''' Is this one of those reality deals where a guy gets a million bucks for marrying Aunt Patty but they have to honeymoon in a box full of snakes?<br />'''Homer:''' Son, that's the stupidest idea I ever heard... and I know exactly who would pay top dollar for it!<br />''(picks up phone and dials)''<br />'''Phone:''' You've reached FOX. If you're pitching a show where gold-digging skanks get what's coming to them, press 1. If you're pitching a rip-off of another network's reality show, press 2. Please stay on the line - your half-baked ideas are all we've got.
+{{qf|Bart}} Is this one of those reality deals where a guy gets a million bucks for marrying Aunt Patty but they have to honeymoon in a box full of snakes?<br />'''Homer:''' Son, that's the stupidest idea I ever heard... and I know exactly who would pay top dollar for it!<br />''[picks up phone and dials]''<br />'''Phone:''' You've reached FOX. If you're pitching a show where gold-digging skanks get what's coming to them, press 1. If you're pitching a rip-off of another network's reality show, press 2. Please stay on the line - your half-baked ideas are all we've got.
 ----
-'''Rev. Lovejoy:''' While I have no opinion for or against your sinful lifestyles, I cannot marry two people of the same sex no more than I can put a hamburger on a hotdog bun. Now, go back to working behind the scenes at every facet of entertainment!<br />'''Marge:''' Excuse me, Reverend.<br />'''Lovejoy:''' Yes?<br />'''Marge:''' As long as two people love each other, I don't think [[God]] cares whether they both have the same "hoo-hoo" or "ha-ha".<br />'''Nelson:''' Ha-ha! [http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season16/marrying6.mp3 audio clip]<br />'''Rev. Lovejoy:''' The Bible forbids same-sex relations.<br />'''Marge:''' Which book?<br />'''Rev. Lovejoy:''' Which book?! The Bible!<br />'''Marge:''' But Reverend... ''(Lovejoy begins cranking the church bells so loud that it drowns out what Marge is saying. What follows are Marge's mostly inaudible lines)'' Scriptural scholars disagree on the significance to Christians of many of the Old Testaments prescriptions! Jesus's teachings stress inclusiveness! And compassion!<br />'''Mayor Quimby:''' Lovejoy's an idiot! His church is turning away hot gobs of gay green. He could get 200 bucks a couple.<br />'''Homer:''' Two hundred bucks a couple, eh? ''(He then sees three gay couples and sees them as $100 bills)'' Hey, I gotta get in on this. These people have rights! The right to buy me a 62-inch TV! ''(Homer then throws his picket sign "Death before Gay Marriage" into a trash bin)''
+{{qf|Rev. Lovejoy}} While I have no opinion for or against your sinful lifestyles, I cannot marry two people of the same sex no more than I can put a hamburger on a hotdog bun. Now, go back to working behind the scenes at every facet of entertainment!<br />'''Marge:''' Excuse me, Reverend.<br />'''Lovejoy:''' Yes?<br />'''Marge:''' As long as two people love each other, I don't think [[God]] cares whether they both have the same "hoo-hoo" or "ha-ha".<br />'''Nelson:''' Ha-ha! ''[http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season16/marrying6.mp3 audio clip]''<br />'''Rev. Lovejoy:''' The Bible forbids same-sex relations.<br />'''Marge:''' Which book?<br />'''Rev. Lovejoy:''' Which book?! The Bible!<br />'''Marge:''' But Reverend... ''[Lovejoy begins cranking the church bells so loud that it drowns out what Marge is saying. What follows are Marge's mostly inaudible lines]'' Scriptural scholars disagree on the significance to Christians of many of the Old Testaments prescriptions! Jesus's teachings stress inclusiveness! And compassion!<br />'''Mayor Quimby:''' Lovejoy's an idiot! His church is turning away hot gobs of gay green. He could get 200 bucks a couple.<br />'''Homer:''' Two hundred bucks a couple, eh? ''[He then sees three gay couples and sees them as $100 bills]'' Hey, I gotta get in on this. These people have rights! The right to buy me a 62-inch TV! ''[Homer then throws his picket sign "Death before Gay Marriage" into a trash bin]''
 ----
-'''[[Joe Quimby|Mayor Quimby]]:''' ''(in gay-pride video)'' Springfield, a place where anyone can marry, even dudes. We're just off Route 202. Do not take the Jefferson Avenue exit. For God's sake, '''''do not take that exit!'''''
+{{qf|[[Joe Quimby|Mayor Quimby]]}} ''[in gay-pride video]'' Springfield, a place where anyone can marry, even dudes. We're just off Route 202. Do not take the Jefferson Avenue exit. For God's sake, '''''do not take that exit!'''''
 ----
-'''Homer:''' Who's next? Adam and Steve? Or Madame and Eve?<br />'''Marge:''' Homer, you married every gay couple in town.<br />'''Homer:''' Hey, what can I say? I love love.<br />'''Bart:''' I guess now you have to wait for some other guys to turn.<br />'''Homer:''' Hmmmm. Where's [[Lenny Leonard|Lenny]] and [[Carl Carlson|Carl]]?<br />'''Marge:''' Homer, don't you push them! They have to work it out for themselves.
+{{qf|Homer}} Who's next? Adam and Steve? Or Madame and Eve?<br />'''Marge:''' Homer, you married every gay couple in town.<br />'''Homer:''' Hey, what can I say? I love love.<br />'''Bart:''' I guess now you have to wait for some other guys to turn.<br />'''Homer:''' Hmmmm. Where's [[Lenny Leonard|Lenny]] and [[Carl Carlson|Carl]]?<br />'''Marge:''' Homer, don't you push them! They have to work it out for themselves.
 ----
-'''Homer:''' And do you Julio take [[Thad]] to be your lawfully wedded life partner, in Massachusetts and Vermont, maybe Canada, stay out of Texas, for as long as you both are Gay?<br />'''Julio:''' ''(lovingly)'' I do. [http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season16/marrying8.mp3 audio clip]
+{{qf|Homer}} And do you Julio take [[Thad]] to be your lawfully wedded life partner, in Massachusetts and Vermont, maybe Canada, stay out of Texas, for as long as you both are Gay?<br />'''Julio:''' ''[lovingly]'' I do. ''[http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season16/marrying8.mp3 audio clip]''
 ----
-'''Patty:''' Hey, saturated fats, I came to ask you a favor.<br />'''Homer:''' Let me get my belt sander; maybe I can grind the ugly off your face!<br />'''Patty:''' Very funny.<br />'''Homer:''' I wasn't joking!<br />[Homer pulls out a belt sander, turns it on, and advances on Patty] [http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season16/marrying13.mp3 audio clip]
+{{qf|Patty}} Hey, saturated fats, I came to ask you a favor.<br />'''Homer:''' Let me get my belt sander; maybe I can grind the ugly off your face!<br />'''Patty:''' Very funny.<br />'''Homer:''' I wasn't joking!<br />''[Homer pulls out a belt sander, turns it on, and advances on Patty]'' ''[http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season16/marrying13.mp3 audio clip]''
 ----
-'''[[Krusty the Clown|Krusty]]:''' I want to clear up a misconception about the [[Wha-Cha-Ma-Carcass Sandwich]]. I used '''''non'''''-diseased meat from diseased animals! Everyone does it!
+{{qf|[[Krusty the Clown|Krusty]]}} I want to clear up a misconception about the [[Wha-Cha-Ma-Carcass Sandwich]]. I used '''''non'''''-diseased meat from diseased animals! Everyone does it!
 ----
-'''[[Kent Brockman]] (on [[Smartline]]):''' Homer, have we started down a slippery slope to which marriage becomes so meaningless that anyone can marry any-'''''thing'''''?<br />'''Homer:''' Oh, Kent, not anything. It has to exist...or does it?<br />'''Rev. Lovejoy:''' Call me old fashion, but I believe marriage is described in the Bible!<br />'''Homer:''' If you love the Bible so much, why don't you marry it? In fact, I now pronounce you and the Bible man and wife. And you're the wife! Ah ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.. You owe me two hundred bucks.<br />'''Lovejoy:''' Homer, your impulsive marriages are going to lead to a lot of divorces.<br />'''Homer:''' Which will lead to a lot more impulsive marriages, putting more green in the blue, the blue being my pants!<br />''(Homer holds his hand up for a high five)''<br />'''Lovejoy:''' I'm sorry, Homer. I'm gonna have to leave you hanging there.[http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season16/marrying12.mp3 audio clip]
+{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]] (on [[Smartline]])}} Homer, have we started down a slippery slope to which marriage becomes so meaningless that anyone can marry any-'''''thing'''''?<br />'''Homer:''' Oh, Kent, not anything. It has to exist...or does it?<br />'''Rev. Lovejoy:''' Call me old fashion, but I believe marriage is described in the Bible!<br />'''Homer:''' If you love the Bible so much, why don't you marry it? In fact, I now pronounce you and the Bible man and wife. And you're the wife! Ah ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.. You owe me two hundred bucks.<br />'''Lovejoy:''' Homer, your impulsive marriages are going to lead to a lot of divorces.<br />'''Homer:''' Which will lead to a lot more impulsive marriages, putting more green in the blue, the blue being my pants!<br />''[Homer holds his hand up for a high five]''<br />'''Lovejoy:''' I'm sorry, Homer. I'm gonna have to leave you hanging there.''[http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season16/marrying12.mp3 audio clip]''
 ----
-'''Mayor Quimby:''' We need to bring tourism back to Springfield! As usual, I will open the floor to all crazy ideas that jump to people's minds.<br />'''Lenny:''' Stronger beer!<br />'''Carl:''' Gladiator fights!<br />'''Woman:''' Poetry slams!<br />'''Barney:''' Giant rats!<br />''(Sea Captain gets up)''<br />'''Lisa:''' I have a real suggestion. ''(the Sea Captain sits back down with a swordfish)'' Why don't we legalize same-sex marriage? We can attract a growing segment of the marriage market and strike a blow for civil rights.<br />'''Moe:''' Yeah, them gay guys got lots of disposable income. I could serve fancy drinks and charge ten bucks a pop. What's in a martini?<br />'''Sideshow Mel:''' Gin and vermouth.<br />'''Moe:''' And that makes a what?<br />'''Sideshow Mel:''' A martini.<br />'''Moe:''' Never heard of it. But I'm still in favor of that same-sex marriage thing.<br />'''Mayor Quimby:''' Then it's settled. We shall legalize gay money. I mean gay marriage.<br />''(everyone cheers)''<br />'''Nelson:''' I propose we also legalize gay funerals. ''(grabs Martin)'' Starting with this guy!<br />'''Martin:''' I'm not gay! I'm nothing yet!<br />'''Moe:''' Okay, let's say I put a Lean Cuisine in a blender and I pour some beer on it. What do ya call that?<br />'''Sideshow Mel:''' A lean cuisini.<br />'''Moe:''' Wrong.
+{{qf|Mayor Quimby}} We need to bring tourism back to Springfield! As usual, I will open the floor to all crazy ideas that jump to people's minds.<br />'''Lenny:''' Stronger beer!<br />'''Carl:''' Gladiator fights!<br />'''Woman:''' Poetry slams!<br />'''Barney:''' Giant rats!<br />''[Sea Captain gets up]''<br />'''Lisa:''' I have a real suggestion. ''[the Sea Captain sits back down with a swordfish]'' Why don't we legalize same-sex marriage? We can attract a growing segment of the marriage market and strike a blow for civil rights.<br />'''Moe:''' Yeah, them gay guys got lots of disposable income. I could serve fancy drinks and charge ten bucks a pop. What's in a martini?<br />'''Sideshow Mel:''' Gin and vermouth.<br />'''Moe:''' And that makes a what?<br />'''Sideshow Mel:''' A martini.<br />'''Moe:''' Never heard of it. But I'm still in favor of that same-sex marriage thing.<br />'''Mayor Quimby:''' Then it's settled. We shall legalize gay money. I mean gay marriage.<br />''[everyone cheers]''<br />'''Nelson:''' I propose we also legalize gay funerals. ''[grabs Martin]'' Starting with this guy!<br />'''Martin:''' I'm not gay! I'm nothing yet!<br />'''Moe:''' Okay, let's say I put a Lean Cuisine in a blender and I pour some beer on it. What do ya call that?<br />'''Sideshow Mel:''' A lean cuisini.<br />'''Moe:''' Wrong.
 ----
-'''Patty:''' Selma, we'll always be there for each other. I don't know about Marge, though. If she doesn't show up at the ceremony, I have no "non-identical sister"! [http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season16/marrying20.mp3 audio clip]
+{{qf|Patty}} Selma, we'll always be there for each other. I don't know about Marge, though. If she doesn't show up at the ceremony, I have no "non-identical sister"! ''[http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season16/marrying20.mp3 audio clip]''
 ----
-'''Marge:''' I'm proud of you, Homer. You have given a chance for everyone to express love in its most purest form—a binding legal contract.
+{{qf|Marge}} I'm proud of you, Homer. You have given a chance for everyone to express love in its most purest form—a binding legal contract.
 ----
-'''Patty:''' Marge if you can find it in your heart to accept me for who I am, I would love to see you at the wedding. If not, I'll see you at Homer's funeral. ''(we then see Homer trying to get a fly with a knife)'' Should be pretty soon.<br />'''Homer (stab noise):''' Got him! Uh-oh.
+{{qf|Patty}} Marge if you can find it in your heart to accept me for who I am, I would love to see you at the wedding. If not, I'll see you at Homer's funeral. ''[we then see Homer trying to get a fly with a knife]'' Should be pretty soon.<br />'''Homer (stab noise):''' Got him! Uh-oh.
 {{Season 16|Q}}

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-{{TabQ
+{{TabQ}}
-|episode=There's Something About Marrying
+{{Cleanup}}
 {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Pranksta Rap|On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister}}
 '''[[Barney]]:''' Now as the Road Runner said to the Coyote [he jumps] Meep Meep! [he zips off]
 ----
@@ Line 31: / Line 31: @@
 '''Patty:''' Marge if you can find it in your heart to accept me for who I am, I would love to see you at the wedding. If not, I'll see you at Homer's funeral. ''(we then see Homer trying to get a fly with a knife)'' Should be pretty soon.<br />'''Homer (stab noise):''' Got him! Uh-oh.
-{{Season 16 Q}}
+{{Season 16|Q}}

@@ Line 2: / Line 2: @@
 |episode=There's Something About Marrying
 }}
-*'''[[Disco Stu]]:''' Disco Stu just got an annulment from John Paul Two. Boogie down!
+'''[[Disco Stu]]:''' Disco Stu just got an annulment from John Paul Two. Boogie down!
-*'''Bart:''' Is this one of those reality deals where a guy gets a million bucks for marrying Aunt Patty but they have to honeymoon in a box full of snakes?<br />'''Homer:''' Son, that's the stupidest idea I ever heard... and I know exactly who would pay top dollar for it!<br />''(picks up phone and dials)''<br />'''Phone:''' You've reached FOX. If you're pitching a show where gold-digging skanks get what's coming to them, press 1. If you're pitching a rip-off of another network's reality show, press 2. Please stay on the line - your half-baked ideas are all we've got.
+----
-*'''Rev. Lovejoy:''' While I have no opinion for or against your sinful lifestyles, I cannot marry two people of the same sex no more than I can put a hamburger on a hotdog bun. Now, go back to working behind the scenes at every facet of entertainment!<br />'''Marge:''' Excuse me, Reverend.<br />'''Lovejoy:''' Yes?<br />'''Marge:''' As long as two people love each other, I don't think [[God]] cares whether they both have the same "hoo-hoo" or "ha-ha".<br />'''Nelson:''' Ha-ha! [http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season16/marrying6.mp3 audio clip]<br />'''Rev. Lovejoy:''' The Bible forbids same-sex relations.<br />'''Marge:''' Which book?<br />'''Rev. Lovejoy:''' Which book?! The Bible!<br />'''Marge:''' But Reverend... ''(Lovejoy begins cranking the church bells so loud that it drowns out what Marge is saying. What follows are Marge's mostly inaudible lines)'' Scriptural scholars disagree on the significance to Christians of many of the Old Testaments prescriptions! Jesus's teachings stress inclusiveness! And compassion!<br />'''Mayor Quimby:''' Lovejoy's an idiot! His church is turning away hot gobs of gay green. He could get 200 bucks a couple.<br />'''Homer:''' Two hundred bucks a couple, eh? ''(He then sees three gay couples and sees them as $100 bills)'' Hey, I gotta get in on this. These people have rights! The right to buy me a 62-inch TV! ''(Homer then throws his picket sign "Death before Gay Marriage" into a trash bin)''
+'''Bart:''' Is this one of those reality deals where a guy gets a million bucks for marrying Aunt Patty but they have to honeymoon in a box full of snakes?<br />'''Homer:''' Son, that's the stupidest idea I ever heard... and I know exactly who would pay top dollar for it!<br />''(picks up phone and dials)''<br />'''Phone:''' You've reached FOX. If you're pitching a show where gold-digging skanks get what's coming to them, press 1. If you're pitching a rip-off of another network's reality show, press 2. Please stay on the line - your half-baked ideas are all we've got.
 *'''[[Joe Quimby|Mayor Quimby]]:''' ''(in gay-pride video)'' Springfield, a place where anyone can marry, even dudes. We're just off Route 202. Do not take the Jefferson Avenue exit. For God's sake, '''''do not take that exit!'''''
 *'''Homer:''' Who's next? Adam and Steve? Or Madame and Eve?<br />'''Marge:''' Homer, you married every gay couple in town.<br />'''Homer:''' Hey, what can I say? I love love.<br />'''Bart:''' I guess now you have to wait for some other guys to turn.<br />'''Homer:''' Hmmmm. Where's [[Lenny Leonard|Lenny]] and [[Carl Carlson|Carl]]?<br />'''Marge:''' Homer, don't you push them! They have to work it out for themselves.
-* '''Homer:''' And do you Julio take [[Thad]] to be your lawfully wedded life partner, in Massachusetts and Vermont, maybe Canada, stay out of Texas, for as long as you both are Gay?<br />'''Julio:''' ''(lovingly)'' I do. [http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season16/marrying8.mp3 audio clip]
+----
-* '''Patty:''' Hey, saturated fats, I came to ask you a favor.<br />'''Homer:''' Let me get my belt sander; maybe I can grind the ugly off your face!<br />'''Patty:''' Very funny.<br />'''Homer:''' I wasn't joking!<br />[Homer pulls out a belt sander, turns it on, and advances on Patty] [http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season16/marrying13.mp3 audio clip]
+'''Homer:''' And do you Julio take [[Thad]] to be your lawfully wedded life partner, in Massachusetts and Vermont, maybe Canada, stay out of Texas, for as long as you both are Gay?<br />'''Julio:''' ''(lovingly)'' I do. [http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season16/marrying8.mp3 audio clip]
-*'''[[Krusty the Clown|Krusty]]:''' I want to clear up a misconception about the [[Wha-Cha-Ma-Carcass Sandwich]]. I used '''''non'''''-diseased meat from diseased animals! Everyone does it!
+----
-*'''[[Kent Brockman]] (on [[Smartline]]):''' Homer, have we started down a slippery slope to which marriage becomes so meaningless that anyone can marry any-'''''thing'''''?<br />'''Homer:''' Oh, Kent, not anything. It has to exist...or does it?<br />'''Rev. Lovejoy:''' Call me old fashion, but I believe marriage is described in the Bible!<br />'''Homer:''' If you love the Bible so much, why don't you marry it? In fact, I now pronounce you and the Bible man and wife. And you're the wife! Ah ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.. You owe me two hundred bucks.<br />'''Lovejoy:''' Homer, your impulsive marriages are going to lead to a lot of divorces.<br />'''Homer:''' Which will lead to a lot more impulsive marriages, putting more green in the blue, the blue being my pants!<br />''(Homer holds his hand up for a high five)''<br />'''Lovejoy:''' I'm sorry, Homer. I'm gonna have to leave you hanging there.[http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season16/marrying12.mp3 audio clip]
+'''Patty:''' Hey, saturated fats, I came to ask you a favor.<br />'''Homer:''' Let me get my belt sander; maybe I can grind the ugly off your face!<br />'''Patty:''' Very funny.<br />'''Homer:''' I wasn't joking!<br />[Homer pulls out a belt sander, turns it on, and advances on Patty] [http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season16/marrying13.mp3 audio clip]
-*'''Mayor Quimby:''' We need to bring tourism back to Springfield! As usual, I will open the floor to all crazy ideas that jump to people's minds.<br />'''Lenny:''' Stronger beer!<br />'''Carl:''' Gladiator fights!<br />'''Woman:''' Poetry slams!<br />'''Barney:''' Giant rats!<br />''(Sea Captain gets up)''<br />'''Lisa:''' I have a real suggestion. ''(the Sea Captain sits back down with a swordfish)'' Why don't we legalize same-sex marriage? We can attract a growing segment of the marriage market and strike a blow for civil rights.<br />'''Moe:''' Yeah, them gay guys got lots of disposable income. I could serve fancy drinks and charge ten bucks a pop. What's in a martini?<br />'''Sideshow Mel:''' Gin and vermouth.<br />'''Moe:''' And that makes a what?<br />'''Sideshow Mel:''' A martini.<br />'''Moe:''' Never heard of it. But I'm still in favor of that same-sex marriage thing.<br />'''Mayor Quimby:''' Then it's settled. We shall legalize gay money. I mean gay marriage.<br />''(everyone cheers)''<br />'''Nelson:''' I propose we also legalize gay funerals. ''(grabs Martin)'' Starting with this guy!<br />'''Martin:''' I'm not gay! I'm nothing yet!<br />'''Moe:''' Okay, let's say I put a Lean Cuisine in a blender and I pour some beer on it. What do ya call that?<br />'''Sideshow Mel:''' A lean cuisini.<br />'''Moe:''' Wrong.
+----
-*'''Patty:''' Selma, we'll always be there for each other. I don't know about Marge, though. If she doesn't show up at the ceremony, I have no "non-identical sister"! [http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season16/marrying20.mp3 audio clip]
+'''[[Krusty the Clown|Krusty]]:''' I want to clear up a misconception about the [[Wha-Cha-Ma-Carcass Sandwich]]. I used '''''non'''''-diseased meat from diseased animals! Everyone does it!
-*'''Marge:''' I'm proud of you, Homer. You have given a chance for everyone to express love in its most purest form—a binding legal contract.
+----
-*'''Patty:''' Marge if you can find it in your heart to accept me for who I am, I would love to see you at the wedding. If not, I'll see you at Homer's funeral. ''(we then see Homer trying to get a fly with a knife)'' Should be pretty soon.<br />'''Homer (stab noise):''' Got him! Uh-oh.
+'''[[Kent Brockman]] (on [[Smartline]]):''' Homer, have we started down a slippery slope to which marriage becomes so meaningless that anyone can marry any-'''''thing'''''?<br />'''Homer:''' Oh, Kent, not anything. It has to exist...or does it?<br />'''Rev. Lovejoy:''' Call me old fashion, but I believe marriage is described in the Bible!<br />'''Homer:''' If you love the Bible so much, why don't you marry it? In fact, I now pronounce you and the Bible man and wife. And you're the wife! Ah ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.. You owe me two hundred bucks.<br />'''Lovejoy:''' Homer, your impulsive marriages are going to lead to a lot of divorces.<br />'''Homer:''' Which will lead to a lot more impulsive marriages, putting more green in the blue, the blue being my pants!<br />''(Homer holds his hand up for a high five)''<br />'''Lovejoy:''' I'm sorry, Homer. I'm gonna have to leave you hanging there.[http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season16/marrying12.mp3 audio clip]
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 '''Mayor Quimby:''' We need to bring tourism back to Springfield! As usual, I will open the floor to all crazy ideas that jump to people's minds.<br />'''Lenny:''' Stronger beer!<br />'''Carl:''' Gladiator fights!<br />'''Woman:''' Poetry slams!<br />'''Barney:''' Giant rats!<br />''(Sea Captain gets up)''<br />'''Lisa:''' I have a real suggestion. ''(the Sea Captain sits back down with a swordfish)'' Why don't we legalize same-sex marriage? We can attract a growing segment of the marriage market and strike a blow for civil rights.<br />'''Moe:''' Yeah, them gay guys got lots of disposable income. I could serve fancy drinks and charge ten bucks a pop. What's in a martini?<br />'''Sideshow Mel:''' Gin and vermouth.<br />'''Moe:''' And that makes a what?<br />'''Sideshow Mel:''' A martini.<br />'''Moe:''' Never heard of it. But I'm still in favor of that same-sex marriage thing.<br />'''Mayor Quimby:''' Then it's settled. We shall legalize gay money. I mean gay marriage.<br />''(everyone cheers)''<br />'''Nelson:''' I propose we also legalize gay funerals. ''(grabs Martin)'' Starting with this guy!<br />'''Martin:''' I'm not gay! I'm nothing yet!<br />'''Moe:''' Okay, let's say I put a Lean Cuisine in a blender and I pour some beer on it.
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 {{Season 16 Q}}