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Solar Dragon at 22:04, September 23, 2025

2025-09-23T22:04:12Z

Solar Dragon: Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = The Rapture-tastic Express |image = x100px |level = 15 |update = {{TOCU|Heaven Won't Wait..."

2025-09-23T21:57:46Z

Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = The Rapture-tastic Express |image = x100px |level = 15 |update = {{TOCU|Heaven Won't Wait..."

New page

{{Tapped Out Quest
|name = The Rapture-tastic Express
|image = [[File:Tapped Out The Rapture-tastic Express Sidebar.png|x100px]]
|level = 15
|update = {{TOCU|Heaven Won't Wait}}
|requirements =
|characters =
|optional =
|internal = TheRaptureTasticExpress
|id = 267006 - 267010
|previous = [[Peace Was Never an Option]]
|next = [[The Gates of Wrath]]
|event = yes
}}

'''The Rapture-tastic Express''' is an event-exclusive questline in ''[[The Simpsons: Tapped Out]]''. It was introduced in the {{TOCU|Heaven Won't Wait}} content update.

== Dialogue ==
=== Pt. 1 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|Between April 21, [[2023]] and May 17, 2023|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Worried}}
{{TB|Can you help us fix Eden before God gets back, Jesus?}}
{{Tapped Out Jesus Christ Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|I'd love to, Lisa, but we have to think of the Hell-less.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|{{*}}snaps fingers{{*}} I've got it! You can let them into Heaven!}}
{{Tapped Out Jesus Christ Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Uh, yeah, about that…}}
{{Tapped Out Jesus Christ Icon}}
{{TB|Not right for their needs… Not enough services…}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Nagging}}
{{TB|So you're a NOMCY?}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|Not On My Cloud.}}
{{Tapped Out Jesus Christ Icon}}
{{TB|Ah. Right.}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|What the crap did you people do to my garden?!}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU PEOPLE!}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|I mean, I totally can because I knew that this is what you all were going to do because I know everything, but still, I'm very angry and disappointed.}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Time to flex the ol' Rapture Muscles. {{*}}huge thunder sound{{*}}}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|You…you just crushed my house with a giant bowling pin.}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Sorry about that. I was aiming for Homer's.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shocked}}
{{TB|Mr. Flanders, what do we do? I — I don't know what to argue now. His logic doesn't make any sense!}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Worried}}
{{TB|Well, uh, Your Almightyness, you did send us your only son to ordain a New Covenant where you weren't going to hit us with your wrath anymore.}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Then how come you guys never stop talking about how everything is my wrath?}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|It's, uh, possible we've gotten confused on a few points here and there.}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Worried}}
{{TB|Jesus, you were there at the time, maybe you could quote a few relevant Bible passages to your father?}}
{{Tapped Out Jesus Christ Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|You mean the covenant that didn't come into effect until I died? Thanks for the reminder, dude.}}
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Halos|155}} {{Task/Optional|Make Jesus Take a Bribe|4 hours|the [[Garden of Eden]], [[Heaven]], [[Heavenly Swing Set]], [[Candy Heaven]], [[Jewish Heaven]], or the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Jesus Christ]]}} {{Task/Job|Make Ned Question His Faith|4 hours|the [[Garden of Eden]], [[Heaven]], [[Heavenly Swing Set]], [[Candy Heaven]], [[Jewish Heaven]], or the [[Simpson House]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Suspicious}}
{{TB|Why are there wads of cash sticking out of the hole in your side?}}
{{Tapped Out Jesus Christ Icon}}
{{TB|{{*}}shrugs{{*}} I dunno. Stuff winds up there.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|Are you getting kickbacks from developers for green-lighting their projects based on false claims that they'll help the Hell-less?}}
{{Tapped Out Jesus Christ Icon}}
{{TB|That's the thing about being divine in human form — I also share human weaknesses.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shouting}}
{{TB|So your "advocacy for the Hell-less" is actually a racket perpetuating Hell-less-ness!}}
{{Tapped Out Jesus Christ Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|If I didn't sin, I wouldn't be doing my job.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}} [[Crushed Flanders' House]]|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 2 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 1|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Worried}}
{{TB|Boy, I think God is really angry this time! What are we going to do?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|You could buy a ticket for my Rapture Bus and get out of town with me!}}
{{Tapped Out Moe Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Does that even make sense?}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Sly}}
{{TB|Only three seats left.}}
{{Tapped Out Moe Icon|Worried}}
{{TB|Give me all three — I don't like sitting next to bus weirdos.}}
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Halos|155}} {{Task/Job|Make Homer Sell Tickets for His Rapture Bus|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]}} {{Task/JobMulti|Make {{TOCG|Normal Springfielders|Springfielders}} Buy Tickets for the Rapture Bus|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]|5}} {{Task/Optional|Make Burns Buy the Rapture Bus|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Mr. Burns]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|Mr. Burns, I'm surprised you want to leave town on a bus.}}
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon}}
{{TB|Oh my, never! I wouldn't be caught dead on a bus.}}
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon|Diabolical}}
{{TB|No, my friends and I are leaving town on our private jets. I just don't want the usual riffraff following us.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Nagging}}
{{TB|Even if you could run away from the apocalypse, which you can't, without the "riffraff", who's going to do all the work to take care of you?}}
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon}}
{{TB|I've got Smithers.}}
{{Tapped Out Smithers Icon|Excited}}
{{TB|And I've got you, sir.}}
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Shut up and put my bags on the plane.}}
{{Tapped Out Smithers Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|Yes, sir.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}} [[The Jesus Cube]]|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 3 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 2|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|People, this isn't like a hurricane! There's no escape when God decides to end the world!}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Thoughtful}}
{{TB|Then where did the rich guys go?}}
{{Tapped Out Jesus Christ Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|I maybe kind-of, sort-of sent them straight to the depths of Hell.}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|I'm starting to think maybe I was wrong about rich people all being good.}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|Who could have guessed that the Bible meant what it said about loving money more than people being evil and the rich not getting into heaven?}}
{{Tapped Out Jesus Christ Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Yeah, I really can't stand rich people. They all act like they think they're me!}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|Yeah, rich guys are jerks!}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|You love rich guys.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Not when they don't take me with them.}}
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Halos|155}} {{Task/Optional|Make Mr. Burns Go to Hell|4 hours|the [[Stairway to Hell]], [[Hellscape]], [[Flanders' Personal Hell]], or [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Mr. Burns]]}} {{Task/Optional|Make The Rich Texan Go to Hell|4 hours|the [[Stairway to Hell]], [[Hellscape]], [[Flanders' Personal Hell]], or [[Simpson House]]|char=[[The Rich Texan]]}} {{Task/Job|Make Ned Make a Sorry Expression|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]}} {{Task/Job|Make Homer Make Sorry-Not-Sorry Expression|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Worried}}
{{TB|Oh Lord, I know I pray a lot—}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Yes, you do! Knock it off. I'm not bailing you out this time!}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Now stop distracting me! Planning a giant flood that will wipe out everyone requires more precision than you'd think.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}} [[Rapture Bus]]|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 4 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 3|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|I've tried everything I can think of. I guess this is really it.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Alarmed}}
{{TB|You can't give up, Mr. Flanders. God's just being stubborn. He's probably testing your faith.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Nagging}}
{{TB|He seems to do that a lot.}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|By golly, you're right, Lisa! I'm going to pray even harder than before!}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Sly}}
{{TB|Or you can just relax and let me take care of everything — I've got a plan!}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Yeah…I wouldn't stop praying just yet.}}
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Halos|155}} {{Task/Job|Make Lisa Try to Figure Out What to Do Next|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]}} {{Task/Job|Make Homer Build Giant Sign Out of Empty Donut Boxes|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]}} {{Task/Job|Make Ned Pray Even Harder|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|You built a giant sign out of empty donut boxes that says "DER GOD, WEER SORREE".}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Guilty}}
{{TB|Oh, I misspelled "Dear".}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Nagging}}
{{TB|And "we're".}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Blort}}
{{TB|Really? I did not know that.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Nagging}}
{{TB|And "sorry".}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|That I did know — I have a lot of practice writing "sorry" on notes to your mother.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Sly}}
{{TB|But in this case I deliberately misspelled it so it would rhyme with "weer".}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|That's not how rhymes work.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|It's not? Then I don't understand rap music at all.}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon}}
{{TB|Okay, I'm back. Let's hear what you have to say this time.}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|I knew Lisa was right! I just kept praying and my faith was rewarded.}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon}}
{{TB|No, I was just amused by Homer's sign.}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|That's why I created stupid people in the first place. You never know what idiots are going to do.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}} [[Heavenly Playscape]]|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 5 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After completing Pt. 4|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Deadpan}}
{{TB|You said earlier that you knew we were going to screw up again. Well, you made us, and you knew we would fail. Is that really a fair test?}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon}}
{{TB|Eh, that's kind of a good point.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Sly}}
{{TB|On the other hand, even if you didn't know, we one-hundred percent would have done the same stupid stuff anyway.}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Say, that's right!}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Nagging}}
{{TB|Not helping, Dad.}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Okay, enough with all this philosophical, theological debate! Fine, I won't wipe you all out—}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Hurray!}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|But as of right now, no one is getting into Heaven anymore! I'm building a wall around Heaven!}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Nagging}}
{{TB|There's already a gate.}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon}}
{{TB|That was just for show. You could always go around it. Not sure why more people didn't, really.}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Shocked}}
{{TB|If Heaven is closed, and Hell is full, where will we spend eternity?}}
{{Tapped Out God Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|You should have thought of that earlier! I guess you'll have to stay right where you are!}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Woo Hoo}}
{{TB|Woohoo! We're going to live forever!}}
{{Tapped Out Homer and Bart Icon|Chanting}}
{{TB|Build the wall! Build the wall!}}
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Halos|195}} {{Task/Optional|Make God Build a Wall Around Heaven|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[God]]}} {{Task/Job|Make Ned Ponder Eternity in the Absence of God|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]}} {{Task/Job|Make Homer Be Happy He Can Pig Out Forever|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|You seem really happy about this, Homer.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Call me nuts, but to me living forever seems like a pretty good deal.}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Suspicious}}
{{TB|You don't live next to you.}}
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Pained}}
{{TB|My God, why hast thou forsaken me!}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|200}} and {{XP|20}} {{ap|Angela|My Way or the Highway to Heaven}}|colspan=2}}
}}

{{Tapped Out Quests/Heaven Won't Wait}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Rapture-tastic Express, The}}

@@ Line 27: / Line 27: @@
 {{TB|{{*}}snaps fingers{{*}} I've got it! You can let them into Heaven!}}
 {{Tapped Out Jesus Christ Icon|Sad}}
-{{TB|Uh, yeah, about that…}}
+{{TB|Uh, yeah, about that...}}
 {{Tapped Out Jesus Christ Icon}}
-{{TB|Not right for their needs… Not enough services…}}
+{{TB|Not right for their needs... Not enough services...}}
 {{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Nagging}}
 {{TB|So you're a NOMCY?}}
@@ Line 45: / Line 45: @@
 {{TB|Time to flex the ol' Rapture Muscles. {{*}}huge thunder sound{{*}}}}
 {{Tapped Out Ned Icon|Surprised}}
-{{TB|You…you just crushed my house with a giant bowling pin.}}
+{{TB|You...you just crushed my house with a giant bowling pin.}}
 {{Tapped Out God Icon|Sad}}
 {{TB|Sorry about that. I was aiming for Homer's.}}
@@ Line 154: / Line 154: @@
 {{TB|Or you can just relax and let me take care of everything — I've got a plan!}}
 {{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Annoyed}}
-{{TB|Yeah…I wouldn't stop praying just yet.}}
+{{TB|Yeah...I wouldn't stop praying just yet.}}
 {{THT|{{Task|Collect Halos|155}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Lisa Try to Figure Out What to Do Next|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Homer Build Giant Sign Out of Empty Donut Boxes|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Ned Pray Even Harder|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]}}|colspan=2}}
 {{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Confused}}

@@ Line 5: / Line 5: @@
 |update = {{TOCU|Heaven Won't Wait}}
 |requirements =
-|characters =
+|characters = [[Ned]], [[Homer]], {{TOCG|Normal Springfielders}}, [[Lisa]]
-|optional =
+|optional = [[Jesus Christ]], [[Mr. Burns]], [[The Rich Texan]], [[God]], See [[#Currency-earning jobs|Currency-earning jobs]]
 |internal = TheRaptureTasticExpress
 |id = 267006 - 267010
@@ Line 226: / Line 226: @@
 {{TB|My God, why hast thou forsaken me!}}
 {{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|200}} and {{XP|20}}<br>{{ap|Angela|My Way or the Highway to Heaven}}|colspan=2}}
 }}
 {{Tapped Out Quests/Heaven Won't Wait}}
 {{DEFAULTSORT:Rapture-tastic Express, The}}

The Rapture-tastic Express - Revision history

SolarBot: replaced: … → ... (5)

Solar Dragon at 22:04, September 23, 2025

Solar Dragon: Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = The Rapture-tastic Express |image = x100px |level = 15 |update = {{TOCU|Heaven Won't Wait..."