The Ol' Nip and Tuck - Revision history

SolarBot: replaced: … → ... (13), ‘ → '

2025-05-14T22:27:55Z

replaced: … → ... (13), ‘ → '

Solar Dragon: Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = The Ol' Nip and Tuck |image = File:Tapped Out Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Sidebar.png |level = 15 |update = {{TOCU|New Year New You}} |requirements =..."

2025-05-14T18:28:46Z

Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = The Ol' Nip and Tuck |image = File:Tapped Out Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Sidebar.png |level = 15 |update = {{TOCU|New Year New You}} |requirements =..."

New page

{{Tapped Out Quest
|name = The Ol' Nip and Tuck
|image = [[File:Tapped Out Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Sidebar.png]]
|level = 15
|update = {{TOCU|New Year New You}}
|requirements =
|characters = [[Unlicensed Surgeon Moe]], {{TOCG|Barflies}}
|optional =
|internal = TheOlNipAndTuck
|id = 240012 - 240016
|previous =
|next =
}}

'''The Ol' Nip and Tuck''' is a questline in ''[[The Simpsons: Tapped Out]]''. It was introduced in the {{TOCU|New Year New You}} content update. It requires [[Unlicensed Surgeon Moe]] to be obtained.

== Dialogue ==
=== Pt. 1 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After tapping on Moe's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Moe Icon|Worried}}
{{TB|This wellness crap going around is really cutting into my poison-pushing business.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|It's all these millennial elites forcing this healthy hogwash on the rest of us!}}
{{Tapped Out Lenny Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|Millennials. All they do is spend Mommy and Daddy's money on bushels of kale, $8 green teas, and then when the weekend comes around — Schedule Four Drugs!}}
{{Tapped Out Carl Icon|Drunk}}
{{TB|Yeah, no wonder they can never pay off their impossibly large college loans.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Serious}}
{{TB|I know it's a little harsh, but I have to say it: millennials suck.}}
{{Tapped Out Moe Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|Look, I don't care about all your fresh takes on modern-day topics!}}
{{Tapped Out Moe Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|What I care about is that nobody's coming into my dank, dimly-lit tavern for their steady intake of brewskies and bar nuts.}}
{{Tapped Out Lenny Icon}}
{{TB|What are you talking about? All of your customers are here: Me, Carl, Barney, Homer.}}
{{Tapped Out Lenny Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|{{*}}looks around the bar{{*}} Carl…}}
{{Tapped Out Moe Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|You're forgetting one third of my clientele: Trucker Hat Guy and Stringy Hair Guy.}}
{{Tapped Out Lenny Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|Oh yeah! Wait, are those guys wellness freaks now?}}
{{Tapped Out Moe Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Trucker Hat traded in his Truck for a Prius…}}
{{Tapped Out Moe Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|And Stringy Hair is so chock-full of Omega-3s from the salmon he's eatin', that his hair is all thick and luscious now.}}
{{Tapped Out Lenny Icon}}
{{TB|But you got those side gigs in the backroom to prop up business, right?}}
{{Tapped Out Carl Icon}}
{{TB|Yeah, I'm sure you can make up for it with the exotic animal trade.}}
{{Tapped Out Moe Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Had to shut it down. Turned out my last batch of cheetahs were just cats spray-painted to look like cheetahs.}}
{{Tapped Out Carl Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|What about the backroom unlicensed surgeries?}}
{{Tapped Out Moe Icon|Exhausted}}
{{TB|Some guy got an X-ray and saw that I accidentally left a cue ball in his insides. No one's come back since.}}
{{Tapped Out Barney Icon|Drunk}}
{{TB|Sounds like you need some new customers, Moe. {{*}}belches{{*}}}}
{{Tapped Out Moe Icon|Worried}}
{{TB|Yeah, but who? No millennial elite will want to set foot in here.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Snobby}}
{{TB|We don't need those avocado toasters! I'm sure we can think of something!}}
{{THT|{{Task/JobMulti|Make {{TOCG|Barflies}} Have Drunk Brainstorming Session|3 hours|[[Moe's Tavern]] or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|3}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|And put another circle there. Great! That completes our Glen diagram.}}
{{Tapped Out Lenny Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|It's Venn diagram.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|Venn? I always thought it was called a Glen diagram because nobody actually knows anyone named Glen.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
{{TB|And if they DO know someone named Glen, they put him in the middle, because they don't really have a strong opinion of someone named Glen.}}
{{Tapped Out Moe Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Well, the point is: we need to find the right customers. People with enough money to pay for our unsanctioned surgeries, but also not too much, because then they'd just go to a real doctor.}}
{{Tapped Out Carl Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|So who does that leave us with?}}
{{Tapped Out Moe Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|Looks like the only people left in the center of the diagram are prisoners.}}
{{Tapped Out Barney Icon|Scared}}
{{TB|But Moe, how would you get alone in a room with a prisoner to operate on them?}}
{{Tapped Out Moe Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Two words: conjugal visits.}}
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Blort}}
{{TB|Like the romantic kind?!}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 2 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After tapping on Moe's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Eddie Icon}}
{{TB|Alright Moe, you've got five minutes with the prisoner. Use the telephone there on the side of the booth.}}
{{Tapped Out Eddie Icon}}
{{TB|And no kissing the plexiglass! I'm tired of cleaning lipstick off of it!}}
{{Tapped Out Fernando Vidal Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Can I help you?}}
{{Tapped Out Moe Icon}}
{{TB|Fernando Vidal. So they finally got you for murder, eh? Hitman like you, I can't believe it took 'em this long.}}
{{Tapped Out Fernando Vidal Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Oh, they didn't get me for murder…tax evasion, actually.}}
{{Tapped Out Moe Icon}}
{{TB|Well, I think we can help each other. I'm here to offer my services to you and your fellow prisoners. Surgical operations on the cheap.}}
{{Tapped Out Fernando Vidal Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Really? Hmm, that is interesting. There is one particular operation that would come in handy. However, I can only pay you in cigarettes and ramen. That stuff is gold on the inside.}}
{{Tapped Out Moe Icon|Pleased}}
{{TB|Hey, that stuff is gold on the outside too. A six-pack of ramen and a carton of cigs, and I'll do whatever operation you need.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Moe Haggle Prices|2 hours|[[Springfield Penitentiary]], [[Moe's Tavern]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Moe Icon|Pleased}}
{{TB|So we've agreed on a price. Two cigarette cartons, four ramen packs, plus you gotta shiv the guy in cell block 149B.}}
{{Tapped Out Fernando Vidal Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Agreed.}}
{{Tapped Out Moe Icon}}
{{TB|So then what sort of operation were you wanting?}}
{{Tapped Out Fernando Vidal Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Are you familiar with the film "Face Switch"?}}
{{Tapped Out Moe Icon|Sneaky}}
{{TB|Oh, boy. Always wanted to do one of those. But look, we just need a private place to meet up, so we, uh…we're gonna have to arrange a visit of a, uh…conjugal nature.}}
{{Tapped Out Fernando Vidal Icon}}
{{TB|That…I can arrange. There's the Starry Nights Room, Bridal Falls, Daffodil Daydream, and the Execution Room.}}
{{Tapped Out Moe Icon}}
{{TB|Daffodil Daydream sounds nice.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 3 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After tapping on Moe's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Alright, Mr. Vidal. I'm all done. Here's a mirror. What do you think?}}
{{Tapped Out Man-in-Tan Icon}}
{{TB|I must say, Moe. I can't even recognize myself.}}
{{Tapped Out Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Icon}}
{{TB|That's the whole point, ain't it? New face and all.}}
{{Tapped Out Man-in-Tan Icon}}
{{TB|Your handiwork is a thing of beauty. If you don't mind me asking, where did you procure the other face for the swap?}}
{{Tapped Out Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Icon}}
{{TB|Oh. You really want to know the dirty details?}}
{{Tapped Out Man-in-Tan Icon}}
{{TB|Well, it is my face now.}}
{{Tapped Out Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Icon}}
{{TB|I got a guy who works on that life-like robot show "Westworld". His cousin got hit by a truck crossing the street and now you're wearing his face. So that's that.}}
{{Tapped Out Man-in-Tan Icon}}
{{TB|Well, here are your cigarettes and ramen for payment.}}
{{Tapped Out Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Icon}}
{{TB|Pleasure doin' business.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Hand Out Flyers at the Prison|4 hours}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Lou Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Chief, looks like we got an escaped prisoner on the loose again. Here's a picture of him.}}
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|Let's hunt this guy down and give him the business.}}
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|I mean…apprehend him, gently. {{*}}winks{{*}}}}
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Serious}}
{{TB|You there, handsome fella…have you seen this man?}}
{{Tapped Out Man-in-Tan Icon}}
{{TB|Oh, yes officers. I saw him come out of the prison there, and then he ran that way.}}
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon}}
{{TB|We're on the scent, boys. But I've got two scents at the moment, so first we stop for donuts and then we're headed that way.}}
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Proud}}
{{TB|He never stood a chance.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 4 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After tapping on Moe's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Moe Szyslak, checking in for a… {{*}}whispers{{*}} a, uh… {{*}}mumbles{{*}} conjugal visit.}}
{{Tapped Out Eddie Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|It's your fourth time this week, Moe.}}
{{Tapped Out Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Icon}}
{{TB|Oh, well…we just really love each other.}}
{{Tapped Out Eddie Icon}}
{{TB|And it's a different prisoner every time.}}
{{Tapped Out Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Icon|Nervous}}
{{TB|We all really love each other.}}
{{Tapped Out Eddie Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Yeah, but Big Pookie? I mean no judgment, but what do you see in that guy? I once watched him eat a live swan that flew over the fence.}}
{{Tapped Out Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|Yep, uh…that's my thing. That's what really does it for me.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Perform Secret Surgery on Big Pookie|4 hours|[[Springfield Penitentiary]], [[Moe's Tavern]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}}}|colspan=2}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 5 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After tapping on Moe's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Serious}}
{{TB|Alright, boys. We've tracked the black market surgeon known only as Moesenberg to this conjugal visitation trailer.}}
{{Tapped Out Lou Icon}}
{{TB|Word on the street is he should be here any second.}}
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Eyes Wide}}
{{TB|I'll take your WORD for it. See what I did there?}}
{{Tapped Out Lou Icon}}
{{TB|Not really…wait, I hear something, Chief.}}
{{Tapped Out Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Icon}}
{{TB|Alright, Pookie. Put your brass knuckles down and put on a hospital gown.}}
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|{{*}}bursting in{{*}} Hands where I can see ‘em, Moesenberg!}}
{{Tapped Out Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|{{*}}puts hands up{{*}} Chief Wiggum! What an interesting place to meet. Wrapping up a conjugal visit of your own?}}
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Serious}}
{{TB|You can't fool me, Moesenberg. We know you're doing illegal surgeries for prisoners in this unmonitored daffodil-filled sex den!}}
{{Tapped Out Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Icon}}
{{TB|Chief, perhaps you'd be interested in a bit of a nip and tuck to take care of those extra folds above the utility belt?}}
{{Tapped Out Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|And, uh, it'd be on the house of course. Blue Badge Special, I call it.}}
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Guilty}}
{{TB|Hmm, ya know I have been thinking about taking care of that extra pound or two I put on. Then I could get back to my college weight.}}
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Proud}}
{{TB|Boys, wait outside. Pookie, you can stay if you want.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Give Wiggum the Ol' Nip and Tuck|5 hours|[[Springfield Penitentiary]], [[Moe's Tavern]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|I have to say it, Moesenberg. I haven't looked this good since I got a donut hole stuck in my windpipe and I couldn't eat solids for a week.}}
{{Tapped Out Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|You know, if you could pass out my brochure to the boys at the precinct, it would be much appreciated.}}
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon}}
{{TB|Oh, yeah. I'll definitely tell Eddie. He's been talking about getting surgical hair implants for years. {{*}}leaves{{*}}}}
{{Tapped Out Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|{{*}}looking around{{*}} Where did my cellphone go?}}
{{Tapped Out Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|{{*}}gasp{{*}} I think I might have sewn it up inside Wiggum.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|200}} and {{XP|20}}|colspan=2}}
}}

{{Tapped Out Quests/New Year New You}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Ol' Nip and Tuck, The}}

@@ Line 36: / Line 36: @@
 {{TB|What are you talking about? All of your customers are here: Me, Carl, Barney, Homer.}}
 {{Tapped Out Lenny Icon|Surprised}}
-{{TB|{{*}}looks around the bar{{*}} Carl…}}
+{{TB|{{*}}looks around the bar{{*}} Carl...}}
 {{Tapped Out Moe Icon|Sad}}
 {{TB|You're forgetting one third of my clientele: Trucker Hat Guy and Stringy Hair Guy.}}
@@ Line 42: / Line 42: @@
 {{TB|Oh yeah! Wait, are those guys wellness freaks now?}}
 {{Tapped Out Moe Icon|Sad}}
-{{TB|Trucker Hat traded in his Truck for a Prius…}}
+{{TB|Trucker Hat traded in his Truck for a Prius...}}
 {{Tapped Out Moe Icon|Sad}}
 {{TB|And Stringy Hair is so chock-full of Omega-3s from the salmon he's eatin', that his hair is all thick and luscious now.}}
@@ Line 97: / Line 97: @@
 {{TB|Fernando Vidal. So they finally got you for murder, eh? Hitman like you, I can't believe it took 'em this long.}}
 {{Tapped Out Fernando Vidal Icon|Sad}}
-{{TB|Oh, they didn't get me for murder…tax evasion, actually.}}
+{{TB|Oh, they didn't get me for murder...tax evasion, actually.}}
 {{Tapped Out Moe Icon}}
 {{TB|Well, I think we can help each other. I'm here to offer my services to you and your fellow prisoners. Surgical operations on the cheap.}}
@@ Line 114: / Line 114: @@
 {{TB|Are you familiar with the film "Face Switch"?}}
 {{Tapped Out Moe Icon|Sneaky}}
-{{TB|Oh, boy. Always wanted to do one of those. But look, we just need a private place to meet up, so we, uh…we're gonna have to arrange a visit of a, uh…conjugal nature.}}
+{{TB|Oh, boy. Always wanted to do one of those. But look, we just need a private place to meet up, so we, uh...we're gonna have to arrange a visit of a, uh...conjugal nature.}}
 {{Tapped Out Fernando Vidal Icon}}
-{{TB|That…I can arrange. There's the Starry Nights Room, Bridal Falls, Daffodil Daydream, and the Execution Room.}}
+{{TB|That...I can arrange. There's the Starry Nights Room, Bridal Falls, Daffodil Daydream, and the Execution Room.}}
 {{Tapped Out Moe Icon}}
 {{TB|Daffodil Daydream sounds nice.}}
@@ Line 149: / Line 149: @@
 {{TB|Let's hunt this guy down and give him the business.}}
 {{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Happy}}
-{{TB|I mean…apprehend him, gently. {{*}}winks{{*}}}}
+{{TB|I mean...apprehend him, gently. {{*}}winks{{*}}}}
 {{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Serious}}
-{{TB|You there, handsome fella…have you seen this man?}}
+{{TB|You there, handsome fella...have you seen this man?}}
 {{Tapped Out Man-in-Tan Icon}}
 {{TB|Oh, yes officers. I saw him come out of the prison there, and then he ran that way.}}
@@ Line 165: / Line 165: @@
 {{THT|After tapping on Moe's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
 {{Tapped Out Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Icon|Sad}}
-{{TB|Moe Szyslak, checking in for a… {{*}}whispers{{*}} a, uh… {{*}}mumbles{{*}} conjugal visit.}}
+{{TB|Moe Szyslak, checking in for a... {{*}}whispers{{*}} a, uh... {{*}}mumbles{{*}} conjugal visit.}}
 {{Tapped Out Eddie Icon|Sad}}
 {{TB|It's your fourth time this week, Moe.}}
 {{Tapped Out Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Icon}}
-{{TB|Oh, well…we just really love each other.}}
+{{TB|Oh, well...we just really love each other.}}
 {{Tapped Out Eddie Icon}}
 {{TB|And it's a different prisoner every time.}}
@@ Line 177: / Line 177: @@
 {{TB|Yeah, but Big Pookie? I mean no judgment, but what do you see in that guy? I once watched him eat a live swan that flew over the fence.}}
 {{Tapped Out Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Icon|Sad}}
-{{TB|Yep, uh…that's my thing. That's what really does it for me.}}
+{{TB|Yep, uh...that's my thing. That's what really does it for me.}}
 {{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Perform Secret Surgery on Big Pookie|4 hours|[[Springfield Penitentiary]], [[Moe's Tavern]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}}}|colspan=2}}
 {{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
@@ Line 192: / Line 192: @@
 {{TB|I'll take your WORD for it. See what I did there?}}
 {{Tapped Out Lou Icon}}
-{{TB|Not really…wait, I hear something, Chief.}}
+{{TB|Not really...wait, I hear something, Chief.}}
 {{Tapped Out Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Icon}}
 {{TB|Alright, Pookie. Put your brass knuckles down and put on a hospital gown.}}
 {{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Angry}}
-{{TB|{{*}}bursting in{{*}} Hands where I can see ‘em, Moesenberg!}}
+{{TB|{{*}}bursting in{{*}} Hands where I can see 'em, Moesenberg!}}
 {{Tapped Out Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Icon|Surprised}}
 {{TB|{{*}}puts hands up{{*}} Chief Wiggum! What an interesting place to meet. Wrapping up a conjugal visit of your own?}}