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Solar Dragon: Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = The Best Laid Tans |image = x100px |level = 15 |update = {{TOCU|Splash and Burn}} |requirements = |c..."

2025-08-03T17:41:25Z

Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = The Best Laid Tans |image = x100px |level = 15 |update = {{TOCU|Splash and Burn}} |requirements = |c..."

New page

{{Tapped Out Quest
|name = The Best Laid Tans
|image = [[File:Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Sidebar.png|x100px]]
|level = 15
|update = {{TOCU|Splash and Burn}}
|requirements =
|characters = [[Swimsuit Homer]], [[Lisa]]
|optional = [[Marge]], [[Bart]], [[Smithers]]
|internal = TheBestLaidTans
|id = 258017 - 258021
|previous =
|next =
}}

'''The Best Laid Tans''' is a questline in ''[[The Simpsons: Tapped Out]]''. It was introduced in the {{TOCU|Splash and Burn}} content update. It requires [[Swimsuit Homer]] to be obtained.

== Dialogue ==
=== Pt. 1 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon}}
{{TB|Good morning, Simpsons! It's good to see everyone at the breakfast table on this fine, sunny morning.}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|Gross! Why are you wearing your tiny Euro-style swimsuit in the house?}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Curious}}
{{TB|And why do you have oil all over your body?}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon}}
{{TB|I have my reasons.}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|Wait, do you think that if you put a bunch of oil on yourself that it'll somehow make it seem like you have muscles?}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon}}
{{TB|No…}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Sneaky}}
{{TB|Because all it's doing is shining up your fat folds.}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|That was mean, but since I'm in a good mood, I'll overlook it.}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|What's going on, Homer? You're getting oil all over the kitchen.}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|To answer all of your questions: I, Homer J. Simpson, have entered the Sunshine Suntan Lotion contest.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Curious}}
{{TB|Why?}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon}}
{{TB|Because Sunshine Suntan have just merged with Amalgamated Industrial Chemicals, and to celebrate they're holding a contest where first prize is a new car.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Suspicious}}
{{TB|What's the catch?}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon}}
{{TB|You have to spend the next forty-eight hours tanning and documenting your entire experience on social media.}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Frustrated}}
{{TB|Wait, are you filming us all right now?}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Duh! Did you not hear me when I said that first prize is a new car!}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Swimsuit Homer Drip Oil All Over the Kitchen|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]}} {{Task/Optional|Make Marge Clean Up Homer's Oil Spill|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Marge]]}} {{Task/Job|Make Lisa Be Disturbed by All of This|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]}} {{Task/Optional|Make Bart Record This on His Phone|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Bart]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon}}
{{TB|Here you go, honey. One more bite…}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|NOM!}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Nagging}}
{{TB|Dad, aren't you embarrassed that Bart is recording this?}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Are you kidding? This is social media gold! Sunshine Suntan will see how dedicated I am to tanning.}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Sneaky}}
{{TB|Nothing gets likes and subscribes more than self-humiliation videos.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 2 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Good morning, boys! Beautiful, sunny day today, isn't it?}}
{{Tapped Out Carl Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|Homer, why are you on time for work?}}
{{Tapped Out Lenny Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|And why aren't you wearing any clothes?}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon}}
{{TB|I entered a suntanning contest to win a new car, so I have to keep tanning for two days.}}
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon|Angry}}
{{TB|Simpson! What is the meaning of all this naked, glistening flesh? We have a dress code here.}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|We do, but there's an exception for chemical spills and contests with a cash value of more than $200.}}
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Smithers, is that right?}}
{{Tapped Out Smithers Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|Uh, I'll look into it, sir.}}
{{Tapped Out Smithers Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|As soon as I can stop staring at Simpson with horrid fascination.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Swimsuit Homer Disturb Coworkers|4 hours|the [[Control Building]], [[Reactor Core]], [[Cooling Towers]], [[Work From Home Station]], or a {{TOG|Shop}}}} {{Task/Optional|Make Smithers Review the Company Dress Code|4 hours|the [[Control Building]], [[Reactor Core]], [[Cooling Towers]], [[Work From Home Station]], or a {{TOG|Shop}}|char=[[Smithers]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Smithers Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|I'm afraid Simpson is right, sir.}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon|Woo Hoo}}
{{TB|Woohoo!}}
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|I can't handle this distraction. Simpson, take the day off.}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Yes, sir!}}
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon}}
{{TB|And Smithers, unleash the chemical spill.}}
{{Tapped Out Smithers Icon|Sad}}
{{TB|But sir, Simpson has already left.}}
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon|Thinking}}
{{TB|I want to burn the image out of my retinas.}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 3 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Hey Homer, some of your fellow contestants are livestreaming themselves tanning.}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon|Surprised}}
{{TB|What?! I don't know what that means, but I have to do it, too!}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon}}
{{TB|You know, instead of just lying around tanning, we should livestream you doing something at home while you're tanning. It'll be funny!}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon}}
{{TB|Oooh, good idea! You can livestream me drinking a beer and watching TV.}}
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Or you could mow the lawn!}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|How's that going to be funny?}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Sneaky}}
{{TB|You haven't mowed in two months, and I'm pretty sure wild animals have moved in.}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Sneaky}}
{{TB|Let me get my phone.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Swimsuit Homer Mow the Yard|4 hours}} {{Task/Optional|Make Bart Livestream Homer Mowing|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Bart]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 4 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon|Injured}}
{{TB|Well that sucked.}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Yeah, but you've risen to third place in the fan voting.}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon|Confused}}
{{TB|I didn't know there was fan voting. I wonder what else I could do that would get votes.}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Sneaky}}
{{TB|I know — voters like funny, and there's nothing funnier than a fat man on wheels.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Swimsuit Homer Skate Around Town|4 hours}} {{Task/Optional|Make Bart Livestream Homer Skating|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Bart]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 5 ===
{{Table|
{{THT|After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon|Injured}}
{{TB|Well that also sucked.}}
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Yeah, but you got all the way to second place before the contest ended. You're the runner-up!}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Well, a new car would have been nice, but I can't wait to see what the runner-up prize is!}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon}}
{{TB|Maybe a new washer-dryer set or a trip to Acapulco…}}
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Laughing}}
{{TB|Or maybe a gym membership so that swimsuit actually fits.}}
{{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Swimsuit Homer Wait Impatiently for His Prize|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]}}|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Hugh Jass Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Mr. Simpson, congratulations on being the Sunshine Suntan contest runner-up!}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|What do I get? A motorcycle? A Caribbean vacation? One of those giant cardboard checks for a million dollars?}}
{{Tapped Out Hugh Jass Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|What? If the grand prize is a new car, why would second prize be a million dollars? No, it's none of those things.}}
{{Tapped Out Hugh Jass Icon}}
{{TB|Actually, to celebrate the merger of Sunshine Suntan Lotion with Amalgamated Industrial Chemicals, you win an all-inclusive Crypto Cruise around a floating server farm in the North Sea…}}
{{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon|Annoyed}}
{{TB|But that's a total scam!}}
{{Tapped Out Hugh Jass Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|Exactly!}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|200}} and {{XP|20}}|colspan=2}}
}}

== Behind the Laughter ==
The quest name is a reference to the phrase "the best laid plans."

{{Tapped Out Quests/Splash and Burn}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Best Laid Tans, The}}

@@ Line 30: / Line 30: @@
 {{TB|Wait, do you think that if you put a bunch of oil on yourself that it'll somehow make it seem like you have muscles?}}
 {{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon}}
-{{TB|No…}}
+{{TB|No...}}
 {{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Sneaky}}
 {{TB|Because all it's doing is shining up your fat folds.}}
@@ Line 53: / Line 53: @@
 {{THT|{{Task/Job|Make Swimsuit Homer Drip Oil All Over the Kitchen|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Marge Clean Up Homer's Oil Spill|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Marge]]}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Lisa Be Disturbed by All of This|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Bart Record This on His Phone|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]]|char=[[Bart]]}}|colspan=2}}
 {{Tapped Out Marge Icon}}
-{{TB|Here you go, honey. One more bite…}}
+{{TB|Here you go, honey. One more bite...}}
 {{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon|Happy}}
 {{TB|NOM!}}
@@ Line 152: / Line 152: @@
 {{TB|Well, a new car would have been nice, but I can't wait to see what the runner-up prize is!}}
 {{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon}}
-{{TB|Maybe a new washer-dryer set or a trip to Acapulco…}}
+{{TB|Maybe a new washer-dryer set or a trip to Acapulco...}}
 {{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Laughing}}
 {{TB|Or maybe a gym membership so that swimsuit actually fits.}}
@@ Line 163: / Line 163: @@
 {{TB|What? If the grand prize is a new car, why would second prize be a million dollars? No, it's none of those things.}}
 {{Tapped Out Hugh Jass Icon}}
-{{TB|Actually, to celebrate the merger of Sunshine Suntan Lotion with Amalgamated Industrial Chemicals, you win an all-inclusive Crypto Cruise around a floating server farm in the North Sea…}}
+{{TB|Actually, to celebrate the merger of Sunshine Suntan Lotion with Amalgamated Industrial Chemicals, you win an all-inclusive Crypto Cruise around a floating server farm in the North Sea...}}
 {{Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon|Annoyed}}
 {{TB|But that's a total scam!}}

The Best Laid Tans - Revision history

SolarBot: replaced: … → ... (4)

Solar Dragon: Created page with "{{Tapped Out Quest |name = The Best Laid Tans |image = x100px |level = 15 |update = {{TOCU|Splash and Burn}} |requirements = |c..."